(_A SCENE OF TO-DAY, IN A SHAKSPEARIAN SETTING._)
_Mr. Punch_. "How now, my hearts! Did you never see the picture of
'_We Three_?'"
_Emperor_. Marry, forfend, _Mr. Punch_! Well quoted indeed, and,
pertinently, from the Swan! "A mellifluous, voice, as I am a true
Knight!" But talk not of things triune too openly, lest quidnuncs
overhear, and L-B-CH-RE devise thereanent fresh heckling
interrogations for the Treasury Bench.
_Mr. Punch_. Nay, Kaiser; 'tis not the actual Triple, but the
conceivable Quadruple, that perturbs the importunates. _We_ Three form
an informal but fast-knit trinity, that can offend none but churls,
and affright none but dullards. Peace, Goodfellowship, Wit! By my
bauble, a triad that PYTHAGORAS himself might have favoured! Talking
of Threes, Kaiser, it's your third visit to us--and, believe me, you
are thrice welcome.
_Emperor_. "Yea, and I thank your pretty sweet wit for it. But
look you, pray, all you that kiss my lady Peace at home" (as _Jack
Falstaff_ put it), that--you gird not too suspiciously at those who
would fain embrace her abroad!
_Mr. Punch_. Well quoted, Sir, though not directed to _mine_ address.
But "A good wit will make use of anything. I will turn diseases to
commodity." Two diseases of the time are, faction and fussiness--the
one a fever, the other a prurigo. The one makes little of greatness,
the other makes much of littleness. You have been the mark of both,
young Hohenzollern!
_Emperor_. "An't please you, it is the disease of not listening, the
malady of not marking, that _I_ am troubled withal."
_Mr. Punch_. _Falstaff_ again, and pertinently applied. Fitly did the
Fat Knight say that he was not only witty himself, but the cause that
wit is in other men.
_Prince_. By cock and pye, _Poins_,--_Punch_ I mean--am _I_ to be out
of this tournament of tags, this joust of quotations? Marry, not so!
[_Grasps the EMPEROR's hand cordially._
"The Prince of WALES doth join with all the world
In praise of--Kaiser WILHELM; by my hopes,
I do not think a braver gentleman,
More active-valiant, or more valiant-young,
More daring, or more bold, is now alive
To grace this latter age with noble deeds."
_Mr. Punch_. Bravo! "Delivered with good respect." Your Royal Highness
has fairly capped us! _Harry Monmouth_, KAISER, could not more fitly
have
"Trimmed up your praises with a princely tongue;
Spoke your deserving like a chronicle."
and _Harry Hotspur_ less deserved the praise.
_Emperor_. "I will imitate the honourable Romans in brevity." I can
but thank you both! (_To the PRINCE._)
"By heavens, I cannot flatter; I defy
The tongues of soothers; but a braver place
In my heart's love hath no man than yourself."
_Mr. Punch_. That's as it should be. If 'twere not always wholly
so--but no matter! I love not to speak in needless or heedless
dispraise of dignities, of "Shouting Emperors," or "Madcap Princes,"
but rather--
"As in reproof of many tales devised,--
Which oft the ear of greatness needs must hear,--
By smiling pick-thanks and base newsmongers."
Sweet WILLIAM (of Avon, _bien entendu_), hath armed us in advance
against even the latest developments of the detestable. The "base
newsmongers" of the day are to be shunned as carefully as the "smiling
pick-thanks." They would set strife between the two sides of a
sixpence or a sovereign. In vain, let us hope! Than that Uncle should
admire Nephew, and Nephew respect Uncle, who could wish more or
better--for both? We Three!!! My Emperors and Heirs-Apparents, pray
charge your glasses! Something _like_ a Triple Alliance! A Veritable
League of Peace! Kaiser; at least this is as pleasant as the
proceedings on board the _Cobra_ during her passage down the Elbe,
_n'est-ce pas_? No formal appending of Statecraft's Scarlet Seals,
or scrawly Imperial Signs-manual need we for our Amicable Treaty.
A handclasp and a Loving-cup shall suffice us for marking the happy
accord of Peace--Goodfellowship--Mirth!!! These be verily the "Central
Powers," which RUDINI _might_ have referred to when he said,--"Our
Alliance, firmly and sincerely maintained, will assure the Peace of
Europe for a long time to come." So mote it be! Let us toast them--in
a Bumper!
[_Left doing so._
* * * * *
[Illustration: A TRIPLE ALLIANCE.
"THE PRINCE OF WALES DOTH JOIN WITH ALL THE WORLD IN PRAISE OF--KAISER
WILHELM; BY MY HOPES, I DO NOT THINK A BRAVER GENTLEMAN,
"MORE ACTIVE-VALIANT, OR MORE VALIANT-YOUNG, MORE DARING, OR MORE
BOLD, IS NOW ALIVE TO GRACE THIS LATTER AGE WITH NOBLE DEEDS."]
* * * * *