The pore owerworked Committee has gone and got thereselves into a
nice mess, and all by their kindness in wanting to let as many people
as possibel see the grate show on Friday. They has acshally bin and
ordered a grate bilding with rows of seats, out in Gildhall Yard,
enuff to hold about a thousand Ladies and Gentlemen, all in their best
close, with capital views of ewerybody and ewerythink, and now they
are told that it won't be posserbel not to give em nothing to heat
or to drink, tho' they must set there quite quiet for at least three
hours! I wunder what they will all think of Copperashun Horspitality
after that!
I'm told as one werry respectable but ancient Deputy acshally
surgested, that after the Hemperer and Hempress and their sweet had
all gone home, all the whole thousand starving wisitors should be
turned into Gildhall and allowed to eat and drink all the fragments
as was left. Yes, Mr. Deputy, all wery kind and thortful of you as
regards the harf-starved wisitors, but how about us Waiters? You, with
all your experience, ewidentally don't know the wally of what such
eminent Swells as Hemperers and Hempresses leaves on their plates, and
the skrambel for 'em drectly as they leaves. Why, I have acshally seen
with my own estonished eyes, a lady, after enquiring of me which chair
a sutten elustreous person had set in, stoop down and kiss its harm,
wich was nex to kissin _his_ hand, and then give harf-a-crown for
harf a happel as was left on the plate! Ah, that's what I calls true
loyalty, and werry much it is admired by all of us.
I hunderstands as the Government, wanting to estonish the Hemperer,
has lent the City a reglar army of troops to stand on both sides of
the Streets from Buckinham Pallis all the way to Gildhall. And in
case the estonishing site shood make him feel just a leetle dazed, the
jolly old Copperashun has bin and gone and hired no less than three
Millingterry Bands of Music to play to him, and cheer him up.
There was a talk of engaging all the many German Bands, as makes our
streets so musical, to give the Hemperer a serrynade at Lunch; but Mr.
WEST HILL, of the Gildhall Skool of Music, thort it might be too much
for His Madjesty's feelinx, so the highdear was given up. I werily
bleeves that of all the many anxious buzzoms as is a beating with
suppressed emotion for next Friday, the carmest and the all serenest
of the lot is that of ROBERT.
* * * * *
"A BOOK OF BURLESQUE."
A volume most welcome on table or desk
Is DAVENPORT ADAMS's _Book of Burlesque_.
He deals with the subject from earliest days,
To modern examples and Gaiety plays.
We've extracts from PLANCHÉ and GILBERT to hand,
With puns ta'en from BYRON and jokes from BURNAND.
There's fun at your asking wherever you look,
And not a dull page you'll declare in the book.
You'll find it delightful, for no one Macadams
The road of the reader like DAVENPORT ADAMS.
* * * * *
LIBERTY AND LICENCE.--It is said that _The Maske of Flowers_ would
never have drawn gold on Monday last to the coffers of that excellent
charity, the Convalescent Home at Westgate-on-Sea had not one of the
Prominent Performers consented to become the responsible and actual
Manager of the "Theatre Royal, Inner Temple." By the terms of his
licence he was bound, amongst other things, to see that no smoking was
permitted in the auditorium, no exhibition of wild beasts was allowed
on the premises, and no hanging took place from the flies. It is
satisfactory to learn (that, in spite of many Benchers being present)
none of these wholesome regulations were infringed. It is true that
the Music of the _Maske_ was duly executed, but then this painful
operation was conducted (by Mr. PRENDERGAST) from the floor of
the building, and not from its roof. Thus the orders of the LORD
CHAMBERLAIN were strictly observed by a Barrister, who can now claim
to have been Manager of a genuine Temple of the Drama.
* * * * *
A REMINDER.--Mr. EDMUND B.V. CHRISTIAN, in _Baily's Magazine_, quoted
by the _P.M.G._ last Thursday, complains "that cricket, the most
popular of games, fills so small a space in literature." Does he
forget that CHARLES DICKENS devoted one entire Christmas Book to _The
Cricket on the Hearth_?
* * * * *