Tries to Become a Politician. Fails. Last Act as a Politician. Tries to
Join the Southern Army. Fails Again. His First Appointment. Feeling of
Responsibility. His Plan. Text. Analysis of Sermon. Buys a Family
Bible. Rules of Life.
When I obeyed the Saviour, the brethren urged me to begin at once to
preach the gospel. I had been accustomed to making political speeches,
and public addresses of different kinds, and they thought I could just
as easily preach a sermon as to make a speech on any other subject. But
I was not thus inclined. I had political aspirations, and was not
disposed to give them up. My idea was, that I could have a good
influence on public men, in conversation and association, by being a
faithful and consistent Christian. I regarded this as a field in which
the influence of Christianity was much needed; and I decided to make
this a specialty, while leading a public political life. But it did not
take long for me to learn that there was at least a strong probability
that the influence would go the other way. However successfully some
men may be politicians and Christians both, I soon discovered that,
with my temperament, the two things would not work harmoniously
together. I concluded that if I continued in politics I would be a very
sorry kind of Christian, if one at all. For a thing of this kind I had
a deep repugnance. The issue, then, as it appeared to me, was finally
forced upon me: Shall I give up politics or Christianity? Of course I
was not compelled to give up Christianity in theory, but I felt that I
would virtually do so in practice; and with me the difference between
the two was hardly worth considering. While I felt that it was a great
sacrifice, in a worldly point of view, to give up the golden dreams of
a brilliant future, I decided in favor of Christ and the Bible. I shall
never cease to thank God for the decision.
My last act in political life was attending, as a delegate, a State
Convention at Frankfort, in August, 1861. This was, in some respects, a
miserable affair, and I became thoroughly disgusted with politics and
politicians, such as seemed to be pushing to the front, and crowding
modesty and decency and honesty out of sight. I decided that that kind
of association, that kind of companionship in the profession, that kind
of trickery and treachery as food for daily thought, however successful
one might be, was disgusting and debasing. I went home from the
convention determined upon a clear cut-loose from the whole concern.
During the convention, Gen. Wm. Preston remarked in a speech that in
one year from that day, "the stars and bars" would be waving from the
dome of that capitol. In twelve months to a day, I went to Frankfort to
see the Board of the Christian Education Society, about assisting me in
college. The railroad was not in use, and I went by way of the
Shelbyville pike. When I got in sight of the city, I saw "the stars and
bars" waving from the dome of the capitol! Gen. Kirby Smith had
possession.
When the brethren learned of my determination to give up politics, they
renewed their solicitations in regard to my preaching. But I had become
intensely concerned about the cause of the Southern Confederacy, and
longed to take a part in what I then considered her struggle for
independence and justice. In my misguided zeal, I regarded this a duty
that patriotism would not allow me to exchange for anything till it was
performed. Then, if spared, my life-work should be begun. A peculiar
circumstance, greatly lamented at the time, kept me out of the Southern
army. But I have long regarded it as a special providence of God.
I was an officer in a large cavalry company under the training of Col.
J. W. Griffith. He had fought through the Mexican war, was an
intelligent man, and a good soldier. He also fought through the late
war, and was several times promoted. We had been drilling for some
weeks, and the time was set for our departure. I had a good deal of
unsettled business at Louisville, and went to the city to settle it up.
During my absence the Federal authorities of Louisville were apprised,
in some way, of the movements and purposes of our men, and two
companies of cavalry were sent out to intercept them. Our men were
notified of this, and went twenty-four hours in advance of the set
time. Of all this I knew nothing, and when I got home the company was
gone. I knew not which way it had taken, for our Colonel kept his own
counsel. When night came I left home, determined upon an earnest effort
to find the trail of the company and follow them. Twice I came near
being caught by the soldiers in pursuit, and after a night's fruitless
search, I was compelled to return disappointed. I had not another
opportunity, and ere long I gave up the vain idea. But for that
disappointment I should have gone into the Southern army; and what the
result would have been will remain a secret till the day in which the
results of all contingencies are known. But it is highly improbable
that I should have ever become a preacher of the gospel of the grace of
God. Thank Him for the providence that overruled me!
I finally yielded to the importunities of the brethren, and allowed
them to make an appointment. This was in May, 1862, one year after
making the confession. The meeting was announced two weeks ahead. It
was a fine day, and through curiosity a great crowd assembled. I had
never been in the pulpit before, nor made any remarks in the church
except to pray. The brethren had a Bible-class every Lord's day when
there was no preaching, and no public speaking was indulged in except a
few remarks at the Lord's table, by one of the elders. Though I was
accustomed to speak in public, I felt a responsibility in this matter
that I never felt before. I decided upon three things as insuring
success, or at least resulting in no harm:
1. To select a plain, practical subject, on which I would not be
likely to indulge in false teaching.
2. To thoroughly study the _subject_, rather than the _sermon_.
3. To make myself thoroughly familiar with the analysis of the
subject, and then talk about it, without relying upon memory as
to language.
Relying on memory has been the cause of ten thousand failures, and has
taken all the "snap" out of ten thousand more, that were considered a
success. The intellect never leaps and bounds with vivacity when it is
chained by verbal memory.
I selected for my text Matt. xvi. 24: "Then said Jesus unto his
disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and
take up his cross, and follow me." I went into the pulpit alone,
"introduced," as the saying is, for myself, and then spoke for forty
minutes. While I felt embarrassed by a sense of responsibility, there
was no confusion of thought in regard to the subject; hence no
difficulty in its presentation. As it was my first sermon, the analysis
of it may be of some interest.
I called attention, first, to the universal offer of salvation: "If
_any man_." Second, to the freedom of the will: "If any man _will_."
Third, personal responsibility involved in the foregoing. Fourth,
self-denial as a condition of eternal life. Fifth, the nature and
necessity of cross-bearing. Sixth, examples of self-denial and
cross-bearing on the part of Christ and the apostles.
The church in which I preached my first sermon was the same in which I
made the confession, and near which I was reared. For it I did my first
regular monthly preaching, while in college, and in it held a number of
successful protracted meetings, one annually, during the early years of
my ministry. The old church is dear to me yet; its old members are my
devoted friends, and I delight to visit them when Providence permits.
Immediately after obeying the Saviour I bought a family Bible and a
pocket Testament; not that we had none before, but they were not such
as suited my convenience. At home and abroad, in the city or the
country, in the store or on the road, I had my Testament. As I drove
all day along the highway, I would look at it occasionally to see how a
certain passage read, and then study its meaning. I have never read the
Bible largely, as some do, but I have studied it every day since I knew
the way of life, unless I was too sick to have anything in mind. I have
studied, doubtless, a hundred times as much without the book in my
hands as with it. The idea that one can study the Bible only as he has
opportunity to sit down with the book in his hands, is a great mistake.
Hence many people complain of having no time to study the Bible, when
the fact is they have nearly all their time, if they only knew it. I
early learned to study the Bible at any time or under any
circumstances, and the advantages of this to me have been beyond
estimation.
As soon as I got my family Bible, I wrote on a flyleaf a few simple
RULES OF LIFE.
1. To study this book carefully and prayerfully every day.
2. To try to understand its teaching, regardless of the theories
and traditions of men.
3. To make it the man of my counsel, the source and limit of my
knowledge of divine things, and to speak on such matters only as it
speaks.
4. To measure myself in everything by this standard, and bring my
life, in all respects, in subjection to its divine authority.
5. To strive to grow in grace, and in the knowledge of the truth,
that I may become strong in the Lord, be a blessing to my fellow
men, and at last obtain a home in heaven.
These rules, in some respects, have been closely observed; especially
the first three. While in the others I have fallen immeasurably short,
I feel that, upon the whole, the rules have been of great advantage to
me.