The Messenger
The World's Greatest Negro Monthly
Volume VIII
September, October, November, 1926
I
+The Pleading Woman+
Mrs. Tony Roberts is the pleading woman. She just loves to ask for
things. Her husband gives her all he can rake and scrape, which is
considerably more than most wives get for their housekeeping, but she
goes from door to door begging for things.
She starts at the store. “Mist’ Clarke,” she sing-songs in a high
keening voice, “gimme lil’ piece uh meat tuh boil a pot uh greens wid.
Lawd knows me an’ mah chillen is SO hongry! Hits uh SHAME! Tony don’t
fee-ee-eee-ed me!”
Mr. Clarke knows that she has money and that her larder is well
stocked, for Tony Roberts is the best provider on his list. But her
keening annoys him and he arises heavily. The pleader at this shows all
the joy of a starving man being seated at a feast.
“Thass right Mist’ Clarke. De Lawd loveth de cheerful giver. Gimme jes’
a lil’ piece ’bout dis big (indicating the width of her hand) an’ de
Lawd’ll bless yuh.”
She follows this angel-on-earth to his meat tub and superintends the
cutting, crying out in pain when he refuses to move the knife over just
a teeny bit mo’.
Finally, meat in hand, she departs, remarking on the meanness of some
people who give a piece of salt meat only two-fingers wide when they
were plainly asked for a hand-wide piece. Clarke puts it down to Tony’s
account and resumes his reading.
With the slab of salt pork as a foundation, she visits various homes
until she has collected all she wants for the day. At the Piersons, for
instance: “Sister Pierson, plee-ee-ease gimme uh han’ful uh collard
greens fuh me an’ mah po’ chillen! ’Deed, me an’ mah chillen is SO
hongry. Tony doan’ fee-ee-eed me!”
Mrs. Pierson picks a bunch of greens for her, but she springs away
from them as if they were poison. “Lawd a mussy, Mis’ Pierson, you
ain’t gonna gimme dat lil’ eye-full uh greens fuh me an’ mah chillen,
is you? Don’t be so graspin’; Gawd won’t bless yuh. Gimme uh han’full
mo’. Lawd, some folks is got everything, an’ theys jes’ as gripin’ an
stingy!”
Mrs. Pierson raises the ante, and the pleading woman moves on to the
next place, and on and on. The next day, it commences all over.
II
+Turpentine Love+
Jim Merchant is always in good humor--even with his wife. He says he
fell in love with her at first sight. That was some years ago. She has
had all her teeth pulled out, but they still get along splendidly.
He says the first time he called on her he found out that she was
subject to fits. This didn’t cool his love, however. She had several in
his presence.
One Sunday, while he was there, she had one, and her mother tried to
give her a dose of turpentine to stop it. Accidently, she spilled it
in her eye and it cured her. She never had another fit, so they got
married and have kept each other in good humor ever since.