IN TELEPATHIC COMMUNICATION
The rest of the events of that day do seem so jumbled together. I can
hardly remember all that happened. Miss Desmond took the children and
me into a room upstairs that big you could have put almost the whole
of our house in Little Olive Street inside of it. There was a bed in
it and all sorts of things, but the idea of my sleeping in it was too
ridiculous. But it seemed that I was going to. There were two servants
to wait on us, both grander than me, and one that dignified I didn't
dare to look her in the face. When they went out for something, I
begged and prayed Miss Desmond not to let them come back again, for
they did make me that uncomfortable that I didn't know what I was
doing. She smiled, in that quiet way she had, and when the one who
spoke and looked as if she was a perfect lady--and I'm sure she was
much more of a lady than ever I shall be--came back again, Miss
Desmond got rid of her with some excuse or other, and glad enough I
was.
Presently she took us into another room which, according to her, was
called the school-room, and which she said the children would use as a
nursery; though it was more like a room in a palace. There were heaps
and heaps of things for them to play with--the likes of some of them I
never did see; they must have cost a fortune, that they must--and it
wasn't long before they were as happy as a king. For with little
children, bless them! trouble's like water on a duck's back; they're
crying broken-hearted one minute, and laughing as if they'd burst
themselves the next.
Miss Desmond was that nice! She was a lady, she was. She had a way
about her which seemed to take you right out of yourself; and made you
feel at peace. But with all her gentle, pleasant manner I could see
that she herself was just weighed down with trouble. I suspected that
there was something between that Mr. Howarth and her; and that the way
he had been carrying on was wearing her to a shadow. And when I knew
she liked him, as any one could see she did, I thought better of him
myself; for if a woman like her held him dear he couldn't be
altogether bad. I hadn't been talking to her many minutes before I
began to put this and that together, and to see how the whole matter
stood. A queer business it all was. No wonder she'd had her troubles
like the rest of us. Somehow the knowledge that that was so made my
own trouble less.
I had no notion of what was going on downstairs. I didn't care much
either. But I could see she was worried. Mr. Howarth's sister never
came near us. She didn't like that; though I was glad enough. I could
understand how, if my James was the Marquis, I should be in her way,
through her wanting to marry the young gentleman who was the Marquis
now, and so be the Marchioness. Considering that I was nothing and
nobody, and had sprung up all in a moment, as it were, it wasn't
strange she didn't like me, and perhaps never would. So on all
accounts I felt it was just as well she kept away. At the same time,
with Miss Desmond it was different. She'd done nothing to upset Miss
Howarth, or Lady Violet as it seemed she was, and I could see she was
afraid of a coldness growing up between them. So I begged that she
wouldn't stop with me, for I should be perfectly right alone; and,
after a while, she went.
She hadn't been gone very long, and off I'd started to think again--or
rather to try to think, for, somehow, my thoughts wouldn't come; I
felt all dazed--when in came the young gentleman with Mr. FitzHoward.
'I've come to tell you,' he said, 'that I've made arrangements to go
down to Cressland to-morrow morning. Dr. Clinton and Mr. FitzHoward
have been good enough to promise that they will come too, so--as they
will be present on your behalf--it will be quite unnecessary for you
to accompany us.'
'Do you mean that--you're going to have the coffin opened?' He bowed.
'Then I'll come--of course, I'll come. I could not stay away.'
He tried to persuade me to change my mind and say I wouldn't go.
'It is not a pleasant spectacle which we expect to see. You must
forgive my reminding you that your husband has been buried a
fortnight.'
'My husband? My husband's not in that coffin. I'm sure of it.'
'How can you be sure of it?'
'Because he's alive: I know that he's alive. Do you--do you think I'd
be talking to you like this if I didn't know? I was afraid at first,
but now I know that my James is alive. He keeps talking to me all the
time.'
He looked puzzled; exchanging glances with Mr. FitzHoward.
'My dear lady, I beg that you will not be too sanguine. I admit that
complications have arisen which I had not foreseen, but I am still
convinced that my brother was your husband, and that he lies buried at
Cressland. Don't raise any airy fabrics of hope, or the disappointment
may be greater than you will be able to bear. Besides, if you are
right, then your husband was not my brother, and you are no relation
of mine--which is absurd.'
'Not so absurd as that I should be a relation of yours--the likes of
me!'
'The likes of you! Do you know that the differences of which you are
thinking are only on the surface? In an incredibly short time they'll
disappear, and you'll be as great and as fine a lady as any of them
all.'
'Never! I'll never be a lady; and as for a fine lady--not me!'
'Marchioness--'
'Don't call me that! It's not my name! It sounds as if you were
laughing at me.'
'Sister--'
'I'm not your sister. I'm just Mrs. James Merrett of Little Olive
Street.'
'Mrs. Merrett then: if you like I'll always call you Mrs. Merrett.'
'That's my name.'
'I wish to convey to you my personal assurance that if you are the
person I believe you to be, I shall welcome you and your children, and
shall be proud to call myself your brother.'
'I'm sure--I'm sure--if I am your sister you shan't be any more
ashamed of me than I can help.'
'I shall not be ashamed of you. Never be afraid of that. Only, if you
will come with us to-morrow, don't allow yourself to be buoyed up by
delusions. Be prepared to face the facts--as my sister should do.'
'It's no delusion that my James is alive. Whether he's your brother,
or whether he isn't, I know that he's alive.'
As the day went on I grew more sure of it. When they had gone, and I
was alone again with the children while they played, I sat there
feeling that if it wasn't for my stupidity I could soon find out what
James wanted. He wanted something; that I knew. What it was, I
couldn't think. I couldn't hear his voice, as I had done before, but I
knew that he was trying all the time to get something into my head,
which, if I wasn't so silly, I should understand. I'd a sort of
feeling that he wanted to tell me where he was; to get me to come to
him; to get him out of trouble. That he was in trouble of some sort I
was sure.
He used to talk to me about what he called 'telepathy.' I remember the
word, because he wrote it down and made me learn it. It was one of
those strange ideas he was always getting hold of. I always believed
that, when he chose, he was a regular old-fashioned magician--like you
read of in the Bible. Some of the things he did--and a great many more
that he wanted to do--were against nature. When I hinted that that was
what I felt, he'd look at me in that queer way of his, and say that
magic was knowledge, and knowledge was magic; and that you'd only got
to know everything to do everything. It was the same with this
'telepathy.' According to him you can make yourself understood by a
person who's thousands of miles away--if you've only got the knack of
it. He declared that when he was away from me, sometimes, if he was
just in the right frame of mind, he could tell what I was doing and
saying, and even thinking. There was something in what he said. When
he'd been away for weeks together, when he came back he'd tell me what
I'd been doing at a certain time on a certain day--even my very
words!--but principally at night when I was alone. When I was praying
for him he always knew. Dozens of times has he shown me the
words--written down on a sheet of paper, date and hour and all!--which
I had used in my prayers, when I was asking God to tell me where he
was, and send him home to me. It did make me feel so ashamed; because
he had such a way about him when he was showing you a thing like that.
But while he could understand me I couldn't him, though over and over
again I've known that there was something he wanted to say to me, and
that he was trying to say it. And, as he told me to, I've put down on
paper the time the feeling came over me. And when he returned he'd
show me his piece of paper; sure enough, when he was trying to speak
to me was the very time I felt he was.
'Persevere,' he'd say. 'You and I'll get into telepathic communication
yet before we've done; and when we do we'll show this ancient and
highly civilised nation a thing or two. There's more to be got out of
Egyptian tombs than mummies.'
What he meant I couldn't say. He was always talking in a way that was
beyond me altogether. But I knew that he had some scheme in his head.
Now the feeling I have been talking about was on me again; that he was
trying to say something he wanted me to understand. It was that
feeling made me so sure he wasn't dead; though what he wanted to say I
couldn't imagine. I knew that it was only my silliness which prevented
me from finding out, and that made me so mad. I might be doing the
very thing he didn't want me to; and I wouldn't do anything he didn't
want me to do for all the world. I would have given something to have
just been sensible enough to understand, but if you're not sensible
always you can't be now and then. Though I have heard tell of how even
idiots have an occasional gleam of good, sound, sterling sense.
Idiot or no idiot--and I know I'm not far off even at the best of
times--how I did wish that I could have had one gleam just then!