Owre a hunner year auld, ye are still hale an' strang;
Ye've seldom been kenned the time tae gie wrang;
Tho' puirtith may come, an' misfortune befa',
I never will pairt wi' ma Wag-at-the-Wa'.
Ye belanged tae ma granny when she was a bride;
She coft ye an' fixed ye up on the wa' side;
New-fashioned timers I've heard her misca'
There ne'er was a clock like her Wag-at-the-Wa'.
When I cam' tae this warl' o' trouble an' sin,
Whaur we work oor life oot tae keep oor life in,
When I opened ma een, the first thing I saw
Was the braw soncy face o' my Wag-at-the-Wa'.
It is easy tae see ye are no jerry made;
Ye've been fashioned by workmen weel up tae their trade;
The modern timepiece has nae chance ava'
When compared wi' ma auld-farrant Wag-at-the-Wa'.
Many changes ye've seen since ye startit tae tick,
Yer han's tae gang roun' an' yer wheels tae gang click;
Ye sit on yer perch serene thro' them a'
Steady markin' the time, ma Wag-at-the Wa'.
The mail coach has gane, an' the train's taen its place;
We've Zepplins an' airyplanes fleein' in space;
Wi' wire an' wi' wireless, an' X-rays an' a',
Mony wonders ye've seen, ma Wag-at-the Wa'.
Electreecity harnessed likewise ye hae seen,
Propellin' the ship an' the bauld submarine,
Defyin' the elements, rain, wun', an' snaw;
It's the age o' invention, ma Wag-at-the-Wa'.
In city an' country it's drivin' the trams,
It will sune, I've nae doot, be applied tae the prams,
The lorries and 'busses an' motor cars braw;
What's next on the programme, ma Wag-at-the-Wa'?
Ye hae seen us in peace time, ye see us in war;
The roar of the cannon is heard frae afar;
The guid sword o' Freedom we strongly maun draw
As oor sires did langsyne, ma Wag-at-the-Wa'.
The wecht o' oor blows the Kaiser maun feel
Till he's seik at the hert an' ready tae kneel
Tae oor brave sturdy Allies an' Britannia;
Then peace will be lastin', ma Wag-at-the-Wa'.
Dear Wag-at-the-Wa', I hear by ye'r chime,
It's time I was stoppin' this rummelin' rhyme;
I'll blaw oot the can'le, on Morpheus I'll ca',
An' I'll bid ye "guid-nicht," ma Wag-at-the-Wa'.
"CURMUDGEON."
_The word "curmudgeon" denotes to the Author's mind everything that
is bad in human nature._
O' a' the ills we hae tae bear,
The greatest is Curmudgeon,
An' gin I had ma wull o' him
I'd trounce him wi' a bludgeon.
He thinks that man was made tae mourn,
Tae trouble he wad bind him;
Tae ilk fireside he trouble brings
An' leaves the same behind him.
He is the "daith's-heid at the feast;"
He's always in employment;
His greatest pleesure is tae keep
Mankind frae a' enjoyment.
When we are on a holiday
We want the sun tae smile again,
An' gie's a joyfu' cloudless day;
It's then Curmudgeon prays for rain.
To him, there's great men in this warl',
There's equals and inferiors;
He scorns the honest working-man,
And fawns on his superiors.
He licks the rich man's dirty buits,
An' never min's the flavour;
By every means he tries tae gain
The lordling's smile an' favour.
A bonnie lass gaes dancin' by,
Wha's licht o' hert an' cheerie;
He tells the next man that he meets
She's anybody's dearie.
An' if he meets a sober lass
Wha has nae smile tae greet him,
He says "still waters aft rin deep,
An' the deevil lies beneath them."
The lads are a' gaun tae the deuce
Wi' impudence an' pride, man!
Their lauch an' sang an' merry ploy
Curmudgeon canna bide, man.
He is an elder in the kirk,
Believes in fire an' blood, man;
An' for oor sins wad burn us up
Or droon us in a flood, man.
Curmudgeon is a thrifty carle,
The siller he can hain, man;
Tae catch the bawbees on the hop
Curmudgeon's ever fain, man.
It maiters na' hoo it may come,
Tae him it's always gain, man;
Owre ilk yin's fauts he greets an' granes,
An' never min's his ain, man.
Tae damp the fire o' age an' youth
He's like a sowkit blanket;
We hae na mony o' his kin',
"Sae let the Lord be thankit."
Burns e'en had peety for the Deil,
Deep doon in his vile dungeon;
But Clootie is a gentleman
Compared wi' auld Curmudgeon.