A _Dog_ and his _Master_.
There was an Excellent _House-Dog_, that spent his whole Night still
in Bawling and Snarling at all People Indifferently that pass’d within
Hearing of him. His Master took him to Task once for Barking and Yelling
so at every Body that came near him, without Distinction. Why what
have you a Nose for, says he, but to smell out a Thief from an Honest
Man? I will not have you so much as Open your Mouth, I tell ye, at a
Venture thus. Sir, says the Mastiff, ’tis out of the Zeal I have for
your Service; and yet, when all is done too, I would I had no more to
Answer for, then giving _False Alarums_, and _Barking out of Season_.
You may fancy perhaps, that there are _No other Thieves_ then those that
the Law Exposes to the _Pillory_, or a _Whipping-Post_; or to a Turn
perchance at _Tyburn_ the next Sessions. You’ll find your Self Mistaken
Sir, if you’ll take upon ye to Judge of these Blades by their Garbs,
Looks, and outward Appearance: But if I get them in the Wind once, I’ll
tell ye which is which, to the very Hearts and Souls of ’em, without
the Ceremony of either Bench, Witness or Jury. Nay, says the Master,
if you should happen to Spy a _Knight of the Post_, a _Catch-pole_, a
_Jayler_, a _Pawn-Broker_, a _High-way-man_, a _Crop-Ear’d Scriv’ner_,
a _Griping Usurer_, a _Corrupt Judge_, or any of these Vermin, pray’e
Cry out _Thief_, and spare not: And I beseech ye Sir, says the Dog,
what if it should be a _Pettifogging Splitter of Causes_, a _Turncoat_,
_Ecclesiastical_, _Military_, or _Civil_; a _Trading Justice_, a _Mortal
Enemy_ under the Mask of a _Friend_: A _Glozing Hypocrite_: Or in One
word, let it be in any other Case or Encounter whatsoever; You will find
it Twenty Thousand to One upon the whole Matter, that I Bark Right.
The MORAL.
_The History of Cheats and Sharpers truly Written, would be no other then
the History of Human Nature._