A _Rich Man_ that would be no Richer.
There was a Huge Rich Man, that could neither Eat nor Sleep for fear
of Losing his Mony: The whole Entertainment of his Life was Vision and
Phantome; Thieves, Earthquakes, Inundation; nothing in short came amiss
to him, that was Possible, Dangerous, and Terrible. In this Torment of a
Restless Imagination, he call’d a Beggar to him, told him his Case; and
now says he, I must send you presently of an Erand to _Fortune_. Go your
ways to her immediately, (you’ll find her in _Japan_,) and desire her
from me, that for the future she’ll never Trouble her self further upon
any Accompt of mine; for I am absolutely resolv’d never to touch Penny
of her Mony more. Be gone this very Moment and I’ll give you a Hundred
Crowns for your Pains. Why truly Sir, says the Poor Fellow, ’tis a great
way; but yet (after a little Humming and Hawing upon’t,) he agreed to
undertake the Jobb. Do so then, says the Rich Chuff, and you shall have
_Ninety_ Crowns down upon the Nail. The Poor Creature stuck a while upon
the other Ten that he promis’d; but at last came to his Price, and for
_Ninety_ he was to go. Well then, says the Miserable Churl, _A Bargain’s
a Bargain_, and _Fourscore_ Crowns you shall certainly have. At this
Rate he went Chaffering on, ’till by Bating Ten and Ten still upon every
New Demand, the Man was e’en fain to Content himself with Ten Crowns at
last for the whole Journey. And so away he Goes to _Fortune_; finds her
out, and delivers his Errand: And says he, since that Rich Man will have
no more, pray be so good as to give Me that am ready to Starve, what
you would otherwise have given to a Man that does not want it. No, says
_Fortune_, as for his Part, I am Resolv’d to Plague him with thrice as
much more as he has already, in spite of his very Teeth; and then for
your part, I’ll e’en keep ye in a Starving Condition as I found ye, to
the last Minute of your Life, and make Good the Old Saying to ye; _That
he that’s Born under a Three-Penny Planet, shall never be worth a Groat_.
’Tis true, y’ave gotten Ten Crowns in Hand, and you should never have had
that neither, if I had not been Fast Asleep when they were Deliver’d ye.
The MORAL.
_Not One Man of a Thousand knows his own Mind. Some Men shall be Rich in
spite of their Teeth. And then, All the Carking and Caring in the World,
shall not keep another Man above Water._