A _Physician_ that Cur’d _Mad-Men_.
There was a Physician in _Milan_ that took upon him to Cure Madmen; and
his way was this: They were Ty’d Naked to a Stake, and then set up-right
in a Nasty Puddle, Deeper or Shallower, according to the degree of the
Distemper; and there to continue, till betwixt Cold and Hunger they might
be brought to their Wits again. There was one among the rest, that after
Fifteen Days Soking, began to shew some Signs of Amendment; and so got
leave of the Keeper for the Liberty of the Court, and the House, upon
condition not to set Foot over the Threshold of the Street-Doors. He past
his Promise, and was as good as his Word.
As he was standing one Day at the Outer-Gate, there came a _Falkner_
Riding by, with his Kites and his Curs, and all his _Hawking Trade_
about him. Heark ye Sir, says the Mad-Man, a word with you: And so he
fell to asking him Twenty Idle Questions, What was _this_, and what was
_that_, and t’other? And what was all this _good_ for? and the like. The
Gentleman gave him an Answer to every thing in Form. As for Example,
_This that I Ride upon_, (says he) _is a_ Horse _that I keep for my
Sport; and this Bird upon my Fist is a_ Hawk _that Catches me Quails and
Partridges; and those Dogs are_ Spaniels _to spring my Game_. That’s
well, says the Fool, and what may all the Birds be worth now, that you
catch in a Twelve Month? Why it may be some _Ten or Fifteen Pound_
perhaps, says t’other. Ay but (says the Mad Fellow again,) what may all
your _Hawks_, _Dogs_, and _Horses_ cost you in a Year? _Some Fifteen
times as much perchance_, says the _Falkner_. Get you out of the way then
immediately (cries the Fool,) before our Doctor gets sight of you; for if
he sowc’d me up to the Middle in the Pond, you’ll be in as sure as a Gun
up to the Ears if he can but set Eye on ye.
The MORAL.
_Every Man living is Mad in some respect or other, and the Doctors
themselves as Mad as the Patients._