A _Widow_ and a Green _Ass_.
There was a _Widow_ that had a Twittering toward a second Husband, and
she took a Gossipping Companion of hers to her Assistance, how to Manage
the Job. The Truth of it is, says she, I have a Dear Mind to Another
Bedfellow; but the Devilish People would keep such a Snearing, and
Pointing at me, they’d make me e’en Weary of my Life. You are a _Fine
Widow, i’ Faith_, says T’other, to Trouble your Head for the Talk of the
People. Pray will ye Mind what I say to ye now. You have an _Ass_ here in
your Grounds; go your ways and get That _Ass_ Painted _Green_, and then
let him be carry’d up and down the Country for a Show. Do this, I say,
without any more Words, for talk does but _Burn Day-Light_. The Thing was
done accordingly; and for the first Four or Five Days, the _Green Ass_
had the Whole Country at his Heels; Man, Woman, and Child, Staring and
Hooting after him. In Four or Five Days More, the Humour was quite Spent,
and the _Ass_ might Travel from Morning to Night, and not One Creature to
take Notice of him. Now (says the friendly Adviser) _A New-Marry’d Widow_
is a kind of a _Green Ass_: Every bodies Mouth will be Full on’t for the
first four or five Days, and in four or five More, the Story will e’en
Talk it self Asleep.
The MORAL.
_Common Fame is as False and Impudent as a Common Strumpet. Let Every Man
live to his Conscience, and never Trouble his Head with the Talk of the
People._