Æsop _brings his Master a Guest That had no sort of Curiosity in him_.
_Xanthus_ laid hold of the Present Occasion, and was willing enough to
be furnished with a Staff to beat a Dog. Well Sirrah, says he, since
this Learned Gentleman is too _Curious_; go you your ways and find me
out a Man that has no Curiosity at All, or I’ll Lace your Coat for ye.
Æsop, the next day, Walked the whole Town over on This Errand; and at
Last, found out a Slovenly Lazy Fellow, Lolling at his Ease, as if he
had Nothing to do, or to take care for; and so up to him he went in a
Familiar Way; and Invited him to his Master’s to Supper. The Clown made
no Ceremony of promising, but fell Presently to asking what kind of Man
his Master was? And what, says he, are we going just now? (for this Poor
Devil look’d upon a Meal’s Meat _Gratis_, as a Blessing Dropt into his
Mouth out of the Skies) Come (says Æsop) we are going this very Moment;
and Wonderfully Glad he was to find by the Booby’s discourse, That he had
met with a Man so fit for his Purpose. Away they went together, and so
strait into the Parlour, where the Blockhead throws Himself down Dirty
and Beastly as he was, upon a Rich Couch. After a very little While, in
comes _Xanthus_ to Supper, and asks Æsop who That Man was? Why This is
the Man, says Æsop, that you sent me for; that is to say, a Man that
has no _Curiosity_ in him at All. Oh that’s very well, says _Xanthus_,
and then told his Wife in her ear, That if she would be but a Loving
and Obedient Wife to him, and do as he bad her, he would now save her
Longing, for, says he, I have been a Great while Seeking for an Occasion
to pick a Quarrel with Æsop, and I have found it at last. After this
Whisper, _Xanthus_ takes a Turn in the Parlour, and calls aloud to his
Wife. Heark ye Sweet Heart, says he, go fetch some Water, and Wash the
Feet of my Guest here. Away she goes, brings a Bason to the side of the
Couch, where the Clown was laid at his Length, and bad him put forth his
Feet for her to Wash them. _Xanthus_ little thought she would have done
it. But the Clown, after a little Stumble within himself, that ’twas
fitter for the Maid to do’t, then the Mistress; Well says he, If it be
the Custom of the Family, ’tis not for me to be against it: and so he
stretch’d forth his _Feet_ to the _Washing_.
So soon as ever the Company had taken off the Edge of their Stomachs;
_Xanthus_ calls for a Bumper, and puts it into the hands of the Clown,
making No doubt but he would have allow’d his Host the Honor of being his
Taster. The Fellow, without any Scruple, Whips up the Drink, and gives
_Xanthus_ the Pot again Empty, who was now the Second Time Disappointed
upon the matter of _Curiosity_, or _No Curiosity at All_. He had a
Mind still to be upon Poor Æsop’s Bones, and made another Tryal of the
Humour of his Guest. There was a particular Dish that the Clown fed
very Heartily upon: _Xanthus_ fell into a Rage against the Cook for the
Ill-Dressing of it, and Threat’ned to have him brought and Lash’d in the
very Parlour. The _Bumpkin_ took no Notice of it at All, but without
speaking one Word on the Cooks Behalf; It was Nothing to him he thought,
what other People did with their Servants.
They were come Now to their Cakes and Pyes, and the Clown Guttled upon
them without Mercy. _Xanthus_ Resolves then upon Another Tryal; Calls
for his _Pastry-Cook_ and tells him, Sirrah, says he, you spoil every
thing that goes through your hands. There’s neither Spice, nor any other
Seasoning here. The Cook told him, That if they were either Over or
Under-Bak’d, it was his Fault; But for the Spice and Seasoning, it was
his Mistresses, for it was All put in that she Deliver’d. Nay Wife, says
_Xanthus_, if it sticks there, By All that’s Sacred, I’ll Treat you no
better then if you were a Slave bought with my Money. Wherefore Strip
Immediately and Prepare for a Dog-Whip. _Xanthus_ thought with himself;
that If any thing in the World could move this Barbarous Brute, he would
have put in a Word at Least to save a Woman of Honour from so Scandalous
an Indignity. But says this Loggerhead to himself; There’s an old saying;
_What have We to do to Quench other Peoples Fires?_ And I’ll e’en keep
my self Clear of Other Peoples Matters; Only he took _Xanthus_ by the
Hand indeed, and told him if he would but Stay a Little, he’d go fetch
his own Wife too, and so they might take the lash by Turns. In one word,
_Xanthus_ missed his Aim at last; and though he was troubled at the
Miscarriage, he could not but Laugh yet at the Simplicity of the Man, and
Confess, that Æsop was in the Right, in bringing a Person to him that had
no Curiosity at all.