Æsop’s _Invention to bring his Mistress back again to her Husband, after
she had Left him_.
The wife of _Xanthus_ was wellborn and wealthy, but so Proud and
Domineering withal, as if her Fortune and her Extraction had Entituled
her to the Breeches. She was Horribly Bold, Meddling, and _Expensive_;
(as that sort of Women commonly are) Easily put off the Hooks, and
Monstrous hard to be pleased again: Perpetually chattering at her
Husband, and upon All occasions of controversy, Threatning him to be
gone. It came to this at Last, that _Xanthus_’s stock of Patience being
quite spent, he took up a Resolution of going another way to Work with
her, and of trying a Course of Severity, since there was nothing to be
done with her by Kindness. But this Experiment, instead of mending The
Matter, made it worse; for upon harder Usage, The Woman grew Desperate,
and went away from him in Earnest. She was as Bad ’tis true as Bad might
well be, and yet _Xanthus_ had a kind of _Hankering_ for her still:
Beside that there was matter of Interest in the Case: and a Pestilent
Tongue she had, that the Poor Husband Dreaded above all things Under the
Sun: but the man was willing however to make the Best of a Bad Game, and
so his Wits and his Friends were set at Work, in the fairest Manner that
Might be, to get her home again. But there was No good to be done in’t it
seems; and _Xanthus_ was so visibly out of Humour upon’t, that Æsop in
Pure Pity bethought himself Immediately how to Comfort him. Come Master
(says he) Pluck up a good heart; for I have a Project in my Noddle
that shall bring my Mistress to you back again, with as good a Will as
ever she went from you. What does me Æsop, but away Immediately to the
Market among the Butchers, Poulterers, Fishmongers, Confectioners, _&c._
for the Best of Every thing that was in Season. Nay he takes private
People in his way too, and Chops into the very house of his Mistresses
Relations, as by Mistake. This Way of Proceeding set the whole Town a
Gog to know the Meaning of all this Bustle, and Æsop innocently told
everybody That his Master’s Wife was run away from him, and he had
Marry’d another: His Friends up and down were all Invited to come and
make Merry with him, and This was to be the Wedding Feast. The News flew
like Light’ning, and happy were they could carry the First Tydings of
it to the _Run-away-Lady_: (for every body knew Æsop to be a Servant in
That Family.) It Gathered in the Rolling, as all Other Stories do in the
Telling: Especially where Womens Tongues and Passions have the spreading
of them. The Wife, that was in her Nature Violent, and Unsteady, order’d
her Chariot to be made ready Immediately, and away she Posts back to her
Husband: falls upon him with Outrages of Looks and Language; and after
the Easing of her mind a Little; No, _Xanthus_, says she, Do not you
Flatter your self with the hopes of Enjoying another Woman while I am
alive. _Xanthus_ look’d upon this as one of Æsop’s _Master-pieces_; and
for that Bout All was well again betwixt Master and Mistress.