A MERRY JOKE
The next morning, while Marjorie was dressing, she heard a great
commotion in the halls. Peeping out her door she saw maids running hither
and thither with anxious, worried faces. She heard her grandmother's
voice in troubled accents, and Grandfather seemed to be trying to soothe
her.
Naughty Marjorie well knew what it was all about, and chuckled with glee
as she finished dressing, and went down to breakfast.
She found the family assembled in the breakfast room, and Grandma Maynard
telling the story. "Yes," she said, "I knew perfectly well that to have
these children in the house, with their noise and racket, would so get on
my nerves that it would turn my hair white, and it has done so!"
Marjorie looked at Grandma Maynard's hair, and though not entirely
white, it was evenly gray all over. As she had laid her head on her
plentifully-powdered pillow, and perhaps restlessly moved it about, the
powder had distributed itself pretty evenly, and the result was a head of
gray hair instead of the rich brown tresses of the night before.
Her son and daughter-in-law could not believe that this effect was caused
by the disturbance made by their own children; but far less did they
suspect the truth of the matter. Whatever opinions the various members of
the family held as to the cause of the phenomenon, not one of them
suspected Marjorie's hand in the matter.
As for Midget herself, she was convulsed with glee, although she did not
show it. Never had she played a joke which had turned out so amazingly
well, and the very fact that neither Kitty nor King knew anything about
it lessened the danger of detection.
"It seems incredible," Grandma went on, "that this thing should really
happen to me, for I've so often feared it might; and then to think it
should come because the visit of my own grandchildren was so upsetting to
my nerves!"
"Nonsense, Mother," said her son, "it couldn't have been that! It isn't
possible that the children, no matter how much they carried on, would
have any such effect as that!"
"You may say so, Ed; but look at the effect, and then judge for yourself;
what is your explanation of this disaster that has come to me?"
"I don't know, I'm sure, Mother,--but it couldn't be what you suggest.
I've heard of such an accident happening to people, but I never believed
it before. Now I'm forced to admit it must be true. What do you think,
Helen?"
Mrs. Maynard looked thoughtful. "I don't know," she said slowly, "but it
must be the symptom of some disease or illness that has suddenly attacked
Mother Maynard."
"But I'm perfectly well," declared the older lady; "and a thing like this
doesn't happen without some reason; and there's no reason for it, except
some great mental disturbance, and I've had nothing of that sort except
the visit of these children! Ed, you'll have to take them away."
"I think I shall have to," said Mr. Maynard, gravely. It was a great
trial to him that his parents could not look more leniently upon his
children. He had rarely brought them to visit their grandparents, because
it always made his mother nervous and irritable. But it was too absurd to
think that such nervousness and irritation could cause her brown hair to
turn almost white, a proceeding which he had always thought was a mere
figure of speech anyway.
Breakfast proceeded in an uncomfortable silence. It was useless to try to
console Grandma Maynard, or to make her think that the gray hair was
becoming to her. Indeed, everything that was said only made her more
disconsolate about the fate which had overtaken her, and more annoyed at
the children, whom she considered to blame.
At last, sharp-eyed, practical Kitty volunteered the solution. She had
sat for some time watching her grandmother, and at last she felt sure
that she saw grains of powder fall from the gray hair to the shoulder of
Grandma's gown. When she was fully convinced that this was the case, she
looked straight at the victim of misfortune and said, "Grandma, I think
you are playing a trick on us. I think you have powdered your hair, and
you are only pretending it has turned gray."
"What do you mean, Kitty, child?" said her father, in amazement, for it
almost seemed as if Kitty were rebuking her grandmother.
"Why, just look, Father! There is powder shaking down on Grandma's
shoulder."
"Nonsense!" cried Grandma, angrily. "I'd be likely to do a thing like
that, wouldn't I, Miss Kitty? And indeed, if it _were_ powder, and could
be brushed out, and leave my hair its natural color, I should be only too
grateful!"
This was Marjorie's chance. She loved to make a sensation, and laying
down her knife and fork, she said, quietly, "Kitty is right, Grandma; it
_is_ nothing but powder, and I put it there myself."
"What!" exclaimed Grandma. "Do you mean to say, Marjorie, that you
powdered my hair? How did you do it? Oh, child, if you are telling me the
truth, if it is really only powder, I shall be so relieved that I will
make you a handsome present!"
This was a new turn of affairs, indeed! Marjorie had had misgivings as to
the results of her practical joke, but it had seemed to her merely a
harmless jest, and she had hoped that it might be taken lightly. But when
Grandma expressed such consternation at her whitened hair, Marjorie had
been shaking in her shoes, lest she should be punished, rather than
laughed at for her trick. And now to be offered a beautiful present was
astonishing, truly! The ways of grownups were surely not to be counted
upon!
With lightened spirits, then, and with sparkling eyes, Marjorie completed
her confession. "Yes," she went on, "after you said last night that you
b'lieved us children could turn your hair white in a single night, I
thought I'd make believe we did. So,--and you know, Grandma, you told me
I could stay around in your room for a while, and look at your pretty
things,--so, when I saw that queer sort of a powder-shaker I couldn't
help playing with it. And then when I saw your bed all fixed so nice for
the night, I thought it would be fun to powder your pillow. I've heard
of people doing it before. I didn't make it up myself. So I shook the
powder all over your pillow, and then of course you put your head on it,
and of course it made your hair white."
Marjorie's parents looked aghast, for to them it seemed as if she had
simply played a practical joke on her grandmother, and one not easily
forgiven, but Grandpa Maynard expressed himself in a series of chuckles.
"Chip of the old block," he said. "Chip of the old block! Just what you
would have done, Ed, when you were a boy, if you had thought of it!
Marjorie, practical jokes run in the family, and you can't help your
propensity for them! I don't approve of them, mind you, I don't approve
of them, but once in a while when one works out so perfectly, I can't
help enjoying it. What do you say, Mother?"
He turned to his wife, and to the surprise of all, she was beaming with
joy. It was not so much her enjoyment of the joke as her relief at
finding that her hair had not turned gray, and could easily be restored
to its beautiful brown.
"I'm quite sure I ought to be annoyed," she said, smiling at Marjorie.
"I'm almost certain I ought to be very angry, and I know you ought to be
punished. But none of these things are going to happen. I'm so glad that
it is only a joke that I forgive the little jokemaker, and as I promised,
I will give you a present as an expression of my gratitude."
And so the breakfast ended amid general hilarity, and afterward Grandma
took Marjorie up to her own room, and they had a little quiet talk.
"I don't want you to misunderstand me, dear," she said, "for practical
jokes are not liked by most people, and they're not a nice amusement for
a little girl. But, I'm afraid, Marjorie, that I have been too harsh and
stern with you, and so I think we can even things up this way. I will
pass over the rudeness and impertinence of your deed, if you will promise
me not to make a practice of such jokes throughout your life. Or at
least, we will say, on older people. I suppose a good-natured joke on
your schoolfellows now and then does no real harm; but I want you to
promise me never again to play such a trick on your elders."
"I do promise, Grandma; and I want to tell you that your kindness to me
makes me feel more ashamed of my naughty trick than if you had punished
me. You see, Grandma, I do these things without thinking,--I mean without
thinking hard enough. When the notion flies into my head it seems so
funny that I just _have_ to go on and do it! But I _am_ trying to
improve, and I don't cut up as many jinks as I used to."
"That's a good girl. Marjorie, I believe you'll make a fine woman, and I
wish I could have the training of you. How would you like to come and
live with me?"
"That's funny, Grandma," said Midget, laughing, "after all you've said
about your not wanting us children in the house."
"I know it; and I can't stand the whole lot of you at once, but I really
do believe, Marjorie, that I'll take you and bring you up. I shall
speak to your father and mother about it at once."
"Oh, Grandma, don't!" And Marjorie clasped her hands, with a look of
horror on her face. "_Don't_ ask me to leave Mother and Father! And
King, and Kitty, and the baby! Why, Grandma, I _couldn't_ do it, any more
than I could fly!"
"Why not? You don't realize all I could do for you. We live much more
handsomely than you do at home, and I would give you everything you
wanted."
"But, Grandma, all those things wouldn't make any difference if I had to
leave my dear people! Why, do you really s'pose I'd even _think_ of such
a thing! Why, I couldn't _live_ without my own father and mother! I love
you and Grandpa, and since you've been so kind and forgiving this
morning, I love you a lot more than I did; but, my goodness, gracious,
sakes, I'd never live with anybody but my own special particular bunch of
Maynards!"
"It's a question you can't decide for yourself, child. I shall speak to
your parents about it, and they will appreciate better than you do the
advantages it would mean for you to follow out my plan. Now I will give
you the present I promised you, and I think it will be this very same
silver powder-box. You probably do not use powder, but it is a pretty
ornament to set on your dressing table, and I want you to let it remind
you of your promise not to play practical jokes."
"Oh, thank you, Grandma," said Marjorie, as she took the pretty trinket;
"I'm glad to have it, because it is so pretty. And I will remember my
promise, and somehow I feel sure I'm going to keep it."
"I think you will, dear, and now you may run away for the present, as I
am going to be busy."
Marjorie found King and Kitty in the billiard room, waiting for her.
"Well, you are the limit!" exclaimed King. "How did you ever dare cut up
that trick, Mops? You got out of it pretty lucky, but I trembled in my
boots at first. I don't see how you dared play a joke on Grandma Maynard
of all people!"
"Why didn't you tell us about it?" asked Kitty. "Oh, did she give you
that lovely powder-box?"
"Yes," laughed Marjorie, "as a reward for being naughty! And she's going
to reward me further. What do you think? She's going to take me to live
with her!"
"What!" cried King and Kitty, in the same breath. And then King grasped
Marjorie by the arm. "You shan't go!" he cried. "I won't let you!"
"I won't either!" cried Kitty, grasping her other arm. "Why, Mops, we
simply couldn't live without you!"
"I know it, you old goosey! And I couldn't live without you! The idea! As
if any of us four Maynards could get along without any of each other!"
"I just guess we couldn't!" exclaimed King, and then as far as the
children were concerned, the subject was dropped.