that in his eagerness to manifest his regard for him, he seems to have
forgotten every other consideration; he would not, else, have spread so
widely a report that could so ill stand enquiry.”
“If Sir Robert,” returned he, “is himself deceived while he deceives
others, who can forbear to pity him? for my own part, instead of
repining that hitherto I have been mistaken, ought I not rather to bless
an error that may have been my preservative from danger?”
Cecilia, distressed in what manner to support her part in the
conversation, began now to wish the return of Mr Delvile; and, not
knowing what else to say, she expressed her surprise at his long
absence.
“It is not, indeed, well timed,” said young Delvile, “just now,--at
the moment when--” he stopt, and presently exclaiming “Oh dangerous
interval!” he arose from his seat in manifest disorder.
Cecilia arose too, and hastily ringing the bell, said, “Mr Delvile I am
sure is detained, and therefore I will order my chair, and call another
time.”
“Do I frighten you away?” said he, assuming an appearance more placid.
“No,” answered she, “but I would not hasten Mr Delvile.”
A servant then came, and said the chair was ready.
She would immediately have followed him, but young Delvile again
speaking, she stopt a moment to hear him. “I fear,” said he, with much
hesitation, “I have strangely exposed myself--and that you cannot--but
the extreme astonishment--” he stopt again in the utmost confusion, and
then adding, “you will permit me to attend you to the chair,” he handed
her down stairs, and in quitting her, bowed without saying a word more.
Cecilia, who was almost wholly indifferent to every part of the
explanation but that which had actually passed, was now in a state of
felicity more delightful than any she had ever experienced. She had not
a doubt remaining of her influence over the mind of young Delvile, and
the surprise which had made him rather betray than express his regard,
was infinitely more flattering and satisfactory to her than any formal
or direct declaration. She had now convinced him she was disengaged, and
in return, though without seeming to intend it, he had convinced her of
the deep interest which he took in the discovery. His perturbation, the
words which escaped him, and his evident struggle to say no more, were
proofs just such as she wished to receive of his partial admiration,
since while they satisfied her heart, they also soothed her pride, by
shewing a diffidence of success which assured her that her own secret
was still sacred, and that no weakness or inadvertency on her part had
robbed her of the power of mingling dignity with the frankness with
which she meant to receive his addresses. All, therefore, that now
employed her care, was to keep off any indissoluble engagement till each
should be better known to the other.
For this reserve, however, she had less immediate occasion than she
expected; she saw no more of young Delvile that day; neither did he
appear the next. The third she fully expected him,--but still he came
not. And while she wondered at an absence so uncommon, she received
a note from Lord Ernolf, to beg permission to wait upon her for two
minutes, at any time she would appoint.
She readily sent word that she should be at home for the rest of the
day, as she wished much for an opportunity of immediately finishing
every affair but one, and setting her mind at liberty to think only of
that which she desired should prosper.
Lord Ernolf was with her in half an hour. She found him sensible and
well bred, extremely desirous to promote her alliance with his son,
and apparently as much pleased with herself as with her fortune. He
acquainted her that he had addressed himself to Mr Harrel long since,
but had been informed that she was actually engaged to Sir Robert
Floyer: he should, therefore, have forborn taking up any part of
her time, had he not, on the preceding day, while on a visit at Mr
Delvile's, been assured that Mr Harrel was mistaken, and that she had
not yet declared for any body. He hoped, therefore, that she would allow
his son the honour of waiting upon her, and permit him to talk with Mr
Briggs, who he understood was her acting guardian, upon such matters as
ought to be speedily adjusted.
Cecilia thanked him for the honour he intended her, and confirmed the
truth of the account he had heard in St James'-square, but at the same
time told him she must decline receiving any visits from his lordship's
son, and entreated him to take no measure towards the promotion of an
affair which never could succeed.
He seemed much concerned at her answer, and endeavoured for some time to
soften her, but found her so steady, though civil in her refusal, that
he was obliged, however unwillingly, to give up his attempt.
Cecilia, when he was gone, reflected with much vexation on the readiness
of the Delviles to encourage his visit; she considered, however, that
the intelligence he had heard might possibly be gathered in general
conversation; but she blamed herself that she had not led to some
enquiry what part of the family he had seen, and who was present when
the information was given him.
Mean while she found that neither coldness, distance, nor aversion were
sufficient to repress Sir Robert Floyer, who continued to persecute her
with as much confidence of success as could have arisen from the utmost
encouragement. She again, though with much difficulty, contrived
to speak with Mr Harrel upon the subject, and openly accused him of
spreading a report abroad, as well as countenancing an expectation at
home, that had neither truth nor justice to support them.
Mr Harrel, with his usual levity and carelessness, laughed at the
charge, but denied any belief in her displeasure, and affected to think
she was merely playing the coquet, while Sir Robert was not the less her
decided choice.
Provoked and wearied, Cecilia resolved no longer to depend upon any body
but herself for the management of her own affairs, and therefore, to
conclude the business without any possibility of further cavilling, she
wrote the following note to Sir Robert herself.
_To Sir Robert Floyer, Bart._
Miss BEVERLEY presents her compliments to Sir Robert Floyer, and as she
has some reason to fear Mr Harrel did not explicitly acquaint him with
her answer to the commission with which he was entrusted, she thinks it
necessary, in order to obviate any possible misunderstanding, to take
this method of returning him thanks for the honour of his good opinion,
but of begging at the same time that he would not lose a moment upon her
account, as her thanks are all she can now, or ever, offer in return.
_Portman-square,_ _May_ 11th, 1779.
To this note Cecilia received no answer: but she had the pleasure to
observe that Sir Robert forbore his usual visit on the day she sent it,
and, though he appeared again the day following, he never spoke to her
and seemed sullen and out of humour.
Yet still young Delvile came not, and still, as her surprise encreased,
her tranquillity was diminished. She could form no excuse for his delay,
nor conjecture any reason for his absence. Every motive seemed to favour
his seeking, and not one his shunning her: the explanation which had so
lately passed had informed him he had no rival to fear, and the manner
in which he had heard it assured her the information was not indifferent
to him; why, then, so assiduous in his visits when he thought her
engaged, and so slack in all attendance when he knew she was at liberty?
End of Project Gutenberg's Cecilia, Volume 1 (of 3), by Frances Burney