MR. LOVELACE, TO JOHN BELFORD, ESQ.
TUESDAY, AUG. 15.*
* Text error: should be Aug. 16.
Thank thee, Jack; most heartily I thank thee, for the sober conclusion of
thy last!--I have a good mind, for the sake of it, to forgive thy till
now absolutely unpardonable extracts.
But dost think I will lose such an angel, such a forgiving angel, as
this?--By my soul, I will not!--To pray for mercy for such an ungrateful
miscreant!--how she wounds me, how she cuts me to the soul, by her
exalted generosity!--But SHE must have mercy upon me first!--then will
she teach me a reliance for the sake of which her prayer for me will be
answered.
But hasten, hasten to me particulars of her health, of her employments,
of her conversation.
I am sick only of love! Oh! that I could have called her mine!--it would
then have been worth while to be sick!--to have sent for her down to me
from town; and to have had her, with healing in her dove-like wings,
flying to my comfort; her duty and her choice to pray for me, and to bid
me live for her sake!--O Jack! what an angel have I--
But I have not lost her!--I will not lose her! I am almost well; should
be quite well but for these prescribing rascals, who, to do credit to
their skill, will make the disease of importance.--And I will make her
mine!--and be sick again, to entitle myself to her dutiful tenderness,
and pious as well as personal concern!
God for ever bless her!--Hasten, hasten particulars of her!--I am sick
of love!--such generous goodness!--By all that's great and good, I will
not lose her!--so tell her!--She says, that she could not pity me, if she
thought of being mine! This, according to Miss Howe's transcriptions to
Charlotte.--But bid her hate me, and have me: and my behaviour to her
shall soon turn that hate to love! for, body and mind, I will be wholly
her's.