[28] See p. 141.
[29] Presto was the Thrales' terrier.
[30] Here, as Boswell says, Johnson "condescended" to a pun, a form of
wit he generally despised.
[31] The brewery is now the property of Messrs Barclay and Perkins.
_Fanny Burney_
A full account of the twenty years' friendship of Johnson and the
Thrales would fill a book much larger than this; and in such a volume
there would often occur the name of Fanny Burney.
Dr Burney was a musician who had come to London in 1760. He was a
member of the Club, and became an intimate friend of Johnson. Frances,
who had lived with her father, while her sisters went to school in
France, had had a passion for writing since the age of 10, and was
eager to meet the great man. She first saw him in 1777 at one of her
father's parties, where her sisters were playing a duet. In the midst
of their performance Dr Johnson was announced.
"He is very ill-favoured ..." she wrote to a friend "his body is in
continual agitation, _see-sawing_ up and down.... He is shockingly
near-sighted, and did not, till she held out her hand to him, even
know Mrs Thrale. He _poked his nose_ over the keys of the harpsichord,
till the duet was finished, and then my father introduced Hetty to
him as an old acquaintance, and he kissed her! When she was a little
girl, he had made her a present of _The Idler_. His attention, however,
was not to be diverted five minutes from the books, as we were in the
library; he pored over them, almost touching the backs of them with
his eye-lashes, as he read their titles. At last, having fixed upon
one, he began, without further ceremony, to read, all the time standing
at a distance from the company. We were all very much provoked, as we
perfectly languished to hear him talk."
[Illustration: FANNY BURNEY]
At last Dr Burney dragged him into the conversation, which happened to
be about one of Bach's concerts:
"The Doctor ... good-naturedly put away his book, and said very drolly,
'And pray, Sir, _who is Bach?_ is he a piper?'"
Fanny's greatest achievement was her novel, _Evelina, or a Young Lady's
Entrance into the World_. She planned it when she was fifteen and wrote
it some years later. She had "an odd inclination" to see her work in
print and, without putting any name to the manuscript or letting her
secret be known outside her own family, she offered her story to the
booksellers and eventually received twenty pounds for it.
When it was published, it took the town by storm. Johnson "got it by
heart" and, as soon as the author was revealed, introduced Fanny to the
circle at Streatham and made her one of his closest friends. He called
her his "dear little Burney" and was always making pretty speeches to
her:
"Miss Burney, calling on him the next morning, offered to make his tea.
He had given her his own large arm-chair which was too heavy for her to
move to the table. 'Sir' quoth she 'I am in the wrong chair.' 'It is so
difficult,' cried he with quickness, 'for anything to be wrong that
belongs to you, that it can only be I that am in the wrong chair to
keep you from the right one.'"
They were guests together of Mrs Thrale at Brighton and one night "to
the universal amazement" Johnson went to a ball:
"He said he had found it so dull being quite alone the preceding
evening, that he determined upon going with us; 'for,' said he, 'it
cannot be worse than being alone.'"
He liked to treat Fanny, his "little character-monger," as a
fellow-author:
"A shilling was now wanted for some purpose or other, and none of them
happened to have one; I begged that I might lend one. 'Ay, do' said the
Doctor 'I will borrow of you; authors are like privateers, always fair
game for one another.'"
In his last illness Johnson received Fanny into his house as long as he
could. But on 25 November 1784, though his faculties were bright, the
machine that contained them was "alarmingly giving away":
"I saw him growing worse, and offered to go, which, for the first time
I ever remember, he did not oppose; but most kindly pressing both my
hands, 'Be not' he said, in a voice of even tenderness 'be not longer
in coming again for my letting you go now.' I assured him I would be
the sooner, and was running off, but he called me back in a solemn
voice, and in a manner the most energetic, said:--'Remember me in your
prayers.'"
Two days before his death, when Dr Burney saw him, his message was the
same:
"He was up and very composed. He took his hand very kindly, asked after
all his family, and then in particular how Fanny did. 'I hope,' he said
'Fanny did not take it amiss that I did not see her. I was very bad.
Tell Fanny to pray for me.'"
On the 20th December, when the "ever-honoured, ever-lamented" Dr
Johnson was committed to the earth, Fanny could not keep her eyes dry
all day.
_The Tour to the Hebrides_
"Dr Johnson" says Boswell at the beginning of his account of this
famous tour "had for many years given me hopes that we should go
together, and visit the Hebrides."
They had first discussed the project in a coffee-house in the Strand in
1763, Johnson being especially eager to see the patriarchal life of the
Highlands--the clansmen living and working and fighting and dying under
the fatherly rule of their chieftain. Boswell, knowing something of his
friend's love of Fleet Street and of his prejudice against Scotland,
"doubted that it would not be possible to prevail on Dr Johnson to
relinquish the felicity of a London life."
"To Scotland, however, he ventured," and the faithful Boswell has left
us a careful record of his adventures and his talk on each of the 100
days he spent there. This _Journal_ was warmly praised by Johnson, who
read the manuscript, and was published in the year after his death.
Here we must be content with extracts, first following the travellers
along the east coast of Scotland, where Johnson found the trees very
few:
"On Saturday the fourteenth of August, 1773, late in the evening, I
received a note from him, that he was arrived at Boyd's inn, at the
head of the Canongate, [Edinburgh]. I went to him directly. He embraced
me cordially; and I exulted in the thought, that I now had him actually
in Caledonia.... He was to do me the honour to lodge under my roof...."
"Mr Johnson and I walked arm-in-arm up the High-street, to my house
in James's court: it was a dusky night: I could not prevent his being
assailed by the evening effluvia of Edinburgh.... Walking the streets
... at night was pretty perilous, and a good deal odoriferous. The
peril is much abated, by the care which the magistrates have taken to
enforce the city laws against throwing foul water from the windows; but
from the structure of the houses in the old town, which consist of many
stories, in each of which a different family lives, and there being no
covered sewers, the odour still continues. A zealous Scotsman would
have wished Mr Johnson to be without one of his five senses upon this
occasion. As we marched slowly along, he grumbled in my ear, 'I smell
you in the dark.'"
[Illustration: JOHNSON AND BOSWELL ARM-IN-ARM UP THE HIGH STREET]
[Illustration: JOHNSON UNDER BOSWELL'S ROOF]
"WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 18.
On this day we set out from Edinburgh.... From an erroneous
apprehension of violence, Dr Johnson had provided a pair of pistols,
some gunpowder, and a quantity of bullets: but upon being assured
we should run no risk of meeting any robbers, he left his arms and
ammunition in an open drawer of which he gave my wife the charge....
When we came to Leith, I talked with perhaps too boasting an air, how
pretty the Frith of Forth looked; as indeed, after the prospect from
Constantinople, of which I have been told, and that from Naples, which
I have seen, I believe the view of that Frith and its environs, from
the Castlehill of Edinburgh, is the finest prospect in Europe. 'Ay,
(said Dr Johnson,) that is the state of the world. Water is the same
every where.'"
Travelling by coach along the coast-road they visited St Andrews,
Dundee, and Montrose and on Saturday evening reached Aberdeen, where
Johnson was cheered at finding a letter from his "dear mistress," Mrs
Thrale.
"MONDAY, AUGUST 23.
At one o'clock we waited on the magistrates in the town hall, as they
had invited us in order to present Dr Johnson with the freedom of
the town, which Provost Jopp did with a very good grace. Dr Johnson
was much pleased with this mark of attention, and received it very
politely.... It was striking to hear all of them drinking 'Dr Johnson!
Dr Johnson!' in the town-hall of Aberdeen, and then to see him with
his burgess-ticket, or diploma, in his hat, which he wore as he walked
along the street, according to the usual custom."
Johnson wrote of the ceremony to Mrs Thrale:
"I was presented with the freedom of the city, not in a gold box,
but in good Latin. Let me pay Scotland one just praise; there was no
officer gaping for a fee; this could have been said of no city on the
English side of the Tweed."
"TUESDAY, AUGUST 24.
We set out about eight in the morning, and breakfasted at Ellon. The
landlady said to me 'Is not this the great Doctor that is going about
through the country?' I said, 'Yes.' 'Ay, (said she) we heard of him. I
made an errand into the room on purpose to see him. There's something
great in his appearance: it is a pleasure to have such a man in one's
house; a man who does so much good. If I had thought of it, I would
have shewn him a child of mine, who has had a lump on his throat for
some time.' 'But, (said I,) he is not a doctor of physick.' 'Is he an
oculist?' said the landlord. 'No, (said I,) he is only a very learned
man.' LANDLORD. 'They say he is the greatest man in England, except
Lord Mansfield.' Dr Johnson was highly entertained with this, and I do
think he was pleased too."
After visiting Staines Castle, Banff, Cullen (where Johnson was
disgusted by the appearance of dried haddocks with the tea at
breakfast), Elgin (where he examined the cathedral "with a most
patient attention" in the rain), Fores, Nairn, and Calder Castle, the
travellers reached Fort George, having an introduction to "Mr Ferne,
master of stores."
"SATURDAY, AUGUST 28.
Mr Ferne and Major Brewse first carried us to wait on Sir Eyre Coote,
whose regiment, the 37th, was lying here, and who then commanded the
fort. He asked us to dine with him, which we agreed to do. Before
dinner we examined the fort. The Major explained the fortification to
us, and Mr Ferne gave us an account of the stores. Dr Johnson talked
of the proportions of charcoal and saltpetre in making gunpowder, of
granulating it, and of giving it a gloss. He made a very good figure
upon these topicks.... At three the drum beat for dinner. I, for a
little while, fancied myself a military man, and it pleased me....
We had a dinner of two complete courses, variety of wines, and the
regimental band of musick playing in the square, before the windows,
after it. I enjoyed this day much. We were quite easy and cheerful. Dr
Johnson said, 'I shall always remember this fort with gratitude.'"
"MONDAY, AUGUST 30.
We might have taken a chaise to Fort Augustus, but, had we not hired
horses at Inverness, we should not have found them afterwards: so we
resolved to begin here to ride.... Dr Johnson rode very well....
When we had advanced a good way by the side of Lochness, I perceived
a little hut, with an old-looking woman at the door of it. I thought
here might be a scene that would amuse Dr Johnson; so I mentioned it to
him. 'Let's go in' said he.... It was a wretched little hovel of earth
only.... In the middle of the room was a fire of peat, the smoke going
out at a hole in the roof. She had a pot upon it, with goat's flesh,
boiling....
The woman's name was Fraser; so was her husband's. He was a man
of eighty. Mr Fraser of Balnain allows him to live in this hut,
and keep sixty goats, for taking care of the woods.... They had
five children.... This contented family had four stacks of barley,
twenty-four sheaves in each. They had a few fowls.... They lived all
the spring without meal, upon milk and curds and whey alone. What they
get for their goats, kids, and fowls, maintains them during the rest of
the year....
She said she was as happy as any woman in Scotland. She could hardly
speak any English except a few detached words. Dr Johnson was pleased
at seeing for the first time, such a state of human life. She asked for
snuff. It is her luxury, and she uses a great deal. We had none; but
gave her sixpence a piece. She then brought out her whiskey bottle. I
tasted it."
"TUESDAY, AUGUST 31.
Between twelve and one we set out [from Fort Augustus], and travelled
eleven miles, through a wild country, till we came to a house in
Glenmorison, called _Anoch_, kept by a M'Queen.... There were two beds
in the room, and a woman's gown was hung on a rope to make a curtain of
separation between them.... We had much hesitation, whether to undress,
or lie down with our clothes on. I said at last 'I'll plunge in! There
will be less harbour for vermin about me, when I am stripped!' Dr
Johnson said, he was like one hesitating whether to go into the cold
bath. At last he resolved too....
After we had offered up our private devotions, and had chatted a little
from our beds, Dr Johnson said 'God bless us both, for Jesus Christ's
sake! Good night!' I pronounced 'Amen.' He fell asleep immediately.
I was not so fortunate for a long time. I fancied myself bit by
innumerable vermin under the clothes; and that a spider was travelling
from the _wainscot_ to my mouth. At last I fell into insensibility."
The Island of Skye was reached on September 2, and a few days later
came an invitation to cross to Rasay.
"WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 8.
We got into Rasay's _carriage_, which was a good strong open boat made
in Norway. The wind had now risen pretty high, and was against us; but
we had four stout rowers, particularly a Macleod, a robust black-haired
fellow, half naked, and bareheaded, something between a wild Indian and
an English tar. Dr Johnson sat high on the stern, like a magnificent
Triton. Malcolm sung an Erse song.... The boatmen and Mr M'Queen
chorused, and all went well.... We sailed along the coast of Scalpa, a
rugged island, about four miles in length. Dr Johnson proposed that he
and I should buy it, and found a good school, and an episcopal church
... and have a printing-press, where he would print all the Erse that
could be found.
Here I was strongly struck with our long projected scheme of visiting
the Hebrides being realized. I called to him, 'We are contending with
seas'; which I think were the words of one of his letters to me. 'Not
much,' said he; and though the wind made the sea lash considerably upon
us, he was not discomposed. After we were out of the shelter of Scalpa,
and in the sound between it and Rasay, which extended about a league,
the wind made the sea very rough. I did not like it. JOHNSON. 'This
now is the Atlantick. If I should tell at a tea table in London, that
I have crossed the Atlantick in an open boat, how they'd shudder, and
what a fool they'd think me to expose myself to such danger?' ...
It was past six o'clock when we arrived. Some excellent brandy was
served round immediately, according to the custom of the Highlands,
where a dram is generally taken every day.... On a sideboard was placed
for us ... a substantial dinner, and a variety of wines. Then we had
coffee and tea.... Soon afterwards a fidler appeared, and a little ball
began. Rasay himself danced with as much spirit as any man, and Malcolm
bounded like a roe.... Dr Johnson was so delighted with this scene that
he said, 'I know not how we shall get away.'"
"THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 9.
The day was showery; however, Rasay and I took a walk, and had some
cordial conversation.... His family has possessed this island above
four hundred years.... When we returned, Dr Johnson walked with us to
see the old chapel. He was in fine spirits. He said, 'This is truly the
patriarchal life: this is what we came to find.'"
This reception of Dr Johnson by Macleod of Rasay may be taken as
typical of the hospitality shewn to him by the Highland chiefs, and the
story of many another jovial evening, for which there is no space here,
must be read in the pages of Boswell's _Journal_.
Besides Skye and Rasay, they visited the islands of Coll, Mull, and
Iona; and, on reaching the mainland, returned to Edinburgh by way
of Oban, Inverary, Dumbarton, Glasgow, and Auchinleck, the home of
Boswell's father.
But before leaving Skye, Johnson had a memorable interview:
"SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 12.
I was highly pleased to see Dr Johnson safely arrived at Kingsburgh,
and received by the hospitable Mr Macdonald....
There was a comfortable parlour with a good fire, and a dram went
round. By and by supper was served, at which there appeared the lady of
the house, the celebrated Miss Flora Macdonald. She is a little woman,
of a genteel appearance, and uncommonly mild and well-bred. To see Dr
Samuel Johnson, the great champion of the English Tories, salute Miss
Flora Macdonald in the isle of Sky, was a striking sight.... Miss Flora
Macdonald ... told me, she heard upon the main land ... that Mr Boswell
was coming to Sky, and one Mr Johnson, a young English buck, with him.
He was highly entertained with this fancy.... I slept in the same room
with Dr Johnson. Each had a neat bed, with Tartan curtains, in an upper
chamber."
"MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 13.
The room where we lay was a celebrated one. Dr Johnson's bed was the
very bed in which the grandson of the unfortunate King James the Second
lay, on one of the nights after the failure of his rash attempt in
1745-6.... To see Dr Samuel Johnson lying in that bed, in the Isle
of Sky, in the house of Miss Flora Macdonald, struck me with such
a group of ideas as it is not easy for words to describe, as they
passed through the mind. He smiled, and said, 'I have had no ambitious
thoughts in it.' The room was decorated with a great variety of maps
and prints. Among others was Hogarth's print of Wilkes grinning, with a
cap of liberty on a pole by him....
At breakfast he said, he would have given a good deal rather than not
have lain in that bed. I owned he was the lucky man; and observed, that
without doubt it had been contrived between Mrs Macdonald and him.
She seemed to acquiesce; adding, 'You know young _bucks_ are always
favourites of the ladies.' He spoke of Prince Charles being here,
and asked Mrs Macdonald, '_Who_ was with him? We were told, madam,
in England, there was one, Miss Flora Macdonald with him.' She said
'they were very right'; and ... very obligingly entertained him with a
recital of the particulars which she herself knew of that escape....
Dr Johnson listened to her with placid attention, and said, 'All this
should be written down.'"
During his stay in Skye Dr Johnson had a mind to become a chieftain
himself:
"THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 23.
There is a beautiful little island in the Loch of Dunvegan, called
_Isa_. M'Leod said, he would give it to Dr Johnson, on condition of
his residing on it three months in the year; nay one month. Dr Johnson
was highly amused with the fancy. I have seen him please himself with
little things, even with mere ideas like the present. He talked a great
deal of this island;--how he would build a house there,--how he would
fortify it,--how he would have cannon,--how he would plant,--how he
would sally out, and _take_ the isle of Muck;--and then he laughed with
uncommon glee, and could hardly leave off."
On leaving Skye the travellers were driven into Col by a heavy sea.
Boswell gives a full account of it and does not try to hide the fact
that he was badly frightened. But he endeavoured to compose his mind
and sought for something to distract his terror: "As I saw them all
busy doing something, I asked Col, with much earnestness, what I could
do. He, with a happy readiness, put into my hand a rope, which was
fixed to the top of one of the masts, and told me to hold it till he
bade me pull. If I had considered the matter, I might have seen that
this could not be of the least service; but his object was to keep me
out of the way of those who were busy working the vessel, and at the
same time to divert my fear, by employing me, and making me think that
I was of use. Thus did I stand firm to my post, while the wind and rain
beat upon me, always expecting a call to pull my rope....
At last they spied the harbour of Lochiern, and Col cried, 'Thank God,
we are safe!'"
Johnson lay on one of the beds and "having got free from sickness, was
satisfied." This is how he described the voyage to Mrs Thrale:
"After having been detained by storms many days at Sky, we left it, as
we thought, with a fair wind; but a violent gust, which Bos had a great
mind to call a tempest, forced us into Col."
Boswell was delighted by his friend's sympathy with Highland life:
"SUNDAY, OCTOBER 17.
Dr Johnson here [at Inchkenneth] shewed so much of the spirit of a
Highlander, that he won Sir Allan's heart: indeed he has shewn it
during the whole of our Tour. One night, in Col, he strutted about the
room with a broad sword and target, and made a formidable appearance;
and, another night, I took the liberty to put a large blue bonnet on
his head."
But to be mistaken for a Scotchman was past a joke:
"THURSDAY, OCTOBER 21.
After a very tedious ride ... we arrived, between seven and eight
o'clock, at _Moy_, the seat of the Laird of _Lochbuy_.... Lochbuy
proved to be only a bluff, comely, noisy old gentleman, proud of his
hereditary consequence, and a very hearty and hospitable landlord. Lady
Lochbuy was sister to Sir Allan M'Lean, but much older.... Being told
that Dr Johnson did not hear well, Lochbuy bawled out to him, 'Are
you of the Johnstons of Glencro, or of Ardnamurchan?' Dr Johnson gave
him a significant look, but made no answer; and I told Lochbuy that
he was not Johns_ton_, but John_son_, and that he was an Englishman."
[Illustration: BOSWELL HOLDING FIRM TO HIS POST]
[Illustration: WHIGGISM TERRIBLY BUFFETED]
Both Boswell and Johnson found it comfortable to be on the mainland
again:
"SATURDAY, OCTOBER 23.
We got at night to Inverary, where we found an excellent inn. Even
here, Dr Johnson would not change his wet clothes. The prospect of good
accommodation cheered us much. We supped well; and after supper, Dr
Johnson, whom I had not seen taste any fermented liquor during all our
travels, called for a gill of whiskey. 'Come, (said he,) let me know
what it is that makes a Scotchman happy!' He drank it all but a drop,
which I begged leave to pour into my glass, that I might say we had
drunk whisky together. I proposed Mrs Thrale should be our toast. He
would not have _her_ drunk in whisky, but rather 'some insular lady';
so we drank one of the ladies whom we had lately left."
"THURSDAY, OCTOBER 28.
On our arrival at the Saracen's Head Inn, at Glasgow ... Dr Johnson ...
enjoyed in imagination the comforts which we could now command, and
seemed to be in high glee. I remember, he put a leg up on each side of
the grate, and said, with a mock solemnity, by way of soliloquy, but
loud enough for me to hear it 'Here am I, an ENGLISH man, sitting by a
_coal_ fire.'"
After being entertained by the university professors at Glasgow, the
travellers arrived in a few days' time at Auchinleck. Boswell was very
nervous about the meeting between his father and Dr Johnson. Lord
Auchinleck was a Whig and Presbyterian and commonly referred to Johnson
as 'a _Jacobite fellow_.' Johnson promised to avoid awkward subjects
of conversation, and all went well for a time; but politics cropped up
at length and, to Boswell's distress, "Whiggism and Presbyterianism,
Toryism and Episcopacy, were terribly buffeted."
"MONDAY, NOVEMBER 8.
Notwithstanding the altercation that had passed, my father, who had
the dignified courtesy of an old Baron, was very civil to Dr Johnson,
and politely attended him to the post-chaise, which was to convey us
to Edinburgh. Thus they parted. They are now in another, and a higher,
state of existence: and as they were both worthy Christian men, I
trust they have met in happiness. But I must observe, in justice to
my friend's political principles, and my own, that they have met in a
place where there is no room for _Whiggism_...."
"TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 9.
... We arrived this night at Edinburgh, after an absence of
eighty-three days. For five weeks together, of the tempestuous season,
there had been no account received of us. I cannot express how happy I
was on finding myself again at home."
Johnson stayed at Edinburgh for a fortnight and then returned to London
"without any incommodity, danger, or weariness."
The expedition to the Hebrides, he said, was the most pleasant journey
he ever made.
_Lesser Journeys_
Two years after his tour to the Hebrides, Johnson went to France with
Mr and Mrs Thrale. It was in the days before, though not long before,
the Revolution; and Johnson, who saw Louis XVI and his queen, noted
various little points about them--how the king fed himself with his
left hand and how the queen, wearing a brown habit, rode 'aside' on a
light grey horse.
He saw the sights of Paris and sometimes felt lonely in doing so:
"The sight of palaces, and other great buildings, leaves no very
distinct images, unless to those who talk of them. As I entered [the
Palais Bourbon], my wife was in my mind: she would have been pleased.
Having now nobody to please, I am little pleased."
Besides Paris, which he found "not so fertile of novelty" as the
Hebrides, he visited Rouen, Fontainebleau, Versailles, Chantilly, and
Compiègne, and admired the cathedrals of Noyon and Cambrai.
People interested him more than places and he summed up a few of his
impressions of the French to Boswell:
"The great in France live very magnificently, but the rest very
miserably. There is no happy middle state as in England.... The French
are an indelicate people; they will spit upon any place. At Madame
----'s, a literary lady of rank, the footman took the sugar in his
fingers, and threw it into my coffee. I was going to put it aside; but
hearing it was made on purpose for me, I e'en tasted Tom's fingers[32].
The same lady would needs make tea _à l'Angloise_. The spout of the
tea-pot did not pour freely; she had the footman blow into it. France
is worse than Scotland in everything but climate."
This was Johnson's only foreign tour. Though he often talked of
expeditions to other countries of Europe, he was generally content with
a post-chaise on an English road and a friend's house or a tavern at
the end of it.
On March 19, 1776 he met Boswell at the Somerset coffee-house in the
Strand, where they were taken up by the Oxford coach. In his old
college his thoughts wandered back to his early days:
"We walked with Dr Adams into the master's garden, and into the common
room. JOHNSON. (after a reverie of meditation,) 'Ay! Here I used to
play at draughts with Phil. Jones and Fluyder. Jones loved beer, and
did not get very forward in the church. Fluyder turned out a scoundrel,
a Whig....' BOSWELL. 'Was he a scoundrel, Sir, in any other way than
that of being a political scoundrel? Did he cheat at draughts?'
JOHNSON. 'Sir, we never played for _money_.'"
"Next morning ... we set out in a post-chaise to pursue our ramble. It
was a delightful day, and we rode through Blenheim Park.... I observed
to him, while in the midst of the noble scene around us 'You and I,
Sir, have, I think, seen together the extremes of what can be seen
in Britain:--the wild rough island of Mull, and Blenheim Park.' We
dined at an excellent inn at Chapel-house, where he expatiated on the
felicity of England in its taverns and inns.... 'There is no private
house, (said he,) in which people can enjoy themselves so well, as at a
capital tavern.... The master of the house is anxious to entertain his
guests; the guests are anxious to be agreeable to him: and no man, but
a very impudent dog indeed, can as freely command what is in another
man's house, as if it were his own. Whereas, at a tavern, there is a
general freedom from anxiety. You are sure you are welcome: and the
more noise you make, the more trouble you give, the more good things
you call for, the welcomer you are. No servants will attend you with
the alacrity which waiters do, who are incited by the prospect of
an immediate reward in proportion as they please. No, Sir; there is
nothing which has yet been contrived by man, by which so much happiness
is produced as by a good tavern or inn.'"
"On Friday, March 22, having set out early from Henley, where we
had lain the preceding night, we arrived at Birmingham about nine
o'clock and, after breakfast, went to call on his old schoolfellow Mr
Hector. A very stupid maid, who opened the door, told us, that 'her
master was gone out....' He said to her, 'My name is Johnson; tell
him I called. Will you remember the name?' She answered with rustick
simplicity, in the Warwickshire pronunciation, 'I don't understand
you, Sir.'--'Blockhead, (said he,) I'll write.' I never heard the word
_blockhead_ applied to a woman before, though I do not see why it
should not, when there is evident occasion for it. He, however, made
another attempt to make her understand him, and roared loud in her ear,
'_Johnson_,' and then she catched the sound."
However, they met Mr Hector in the street and Boswell rejoiced to see
the two old friends together. Indeed, he would have liked to prolong
their stay in Birmingham in order to get more information about
Johnson's early life, but Johnson himself was "impatient to reach his
native city."
"We drove on ... in the dark, and were long pensive and silent. When
we came within the focus of the Lichfield lamps, 'Now (said he,) we
are getting out of a state of death.' We put up at the Three Crowns,
not one of the great inns, but a good old fashioned one, which was ...
the very next house to that in which Johnson was born.... We had a
comfortable supper, and got into high spirits. I felt all my Toryism
glow in this old capital of Staffordshire.... I indulged in libations
of ale."
At Lichfield Boswell met many old friends of Johnson--Mrs Lucy Porter,
his step-daughter, Mr Peter Garrick, brother of the actor, Mr Seward,
and others. Johnson "expatiated in praise" of the city and its
inhabitants, but it appeared to Boswell that there was "very little
business going forward."
"'Surely, Sir, (said I,) you are an idle set of people.' 'Sir, (said
Johnson,) we are a city of philosophers, we work with our heads, and
make the boobies of Birmingham work for us with their hands.'"
From Lichfield they set out for Ashbourne, in Derbyshire, the home of
another old schoolfellow of Johnson's--the Rev. Dr Taylor.
"There came for us an equipage properly suited to a well-beneficed
clergyman;--Dr Taylor's large roomy post-chaise, drawn by four stout
plump horses, and driven by two steady jolly postillions, which
conveyed us to Ashbourne.... Dr Taylor ... was a diligent justice of
the peace, and presided over the town of Ashbourne.... His size, and
figure, and countenance, and manner, were that of a hearty English
'Squire, with the parson super-induced: and I took particular notice of
his upper servant, Mr Peters, a decent grave man, in purple clothes,
and a large white wig, like the butler or _major domo_ of a Bishop."
Boswell wondered at the intimacy between Johnson and Taylor. For Taylor
was a Whig and chiefly occupied with country pursuits. His talk was of
bullocks and his habits "not sufficiently clerical" to please Johnson.
But Johnson, who wrote a good many sermons for him, had hopes of being
his heir; and with the memory of his long years of poverty fresh in
his mind, he could not neglect such a hope. Quite apart from this,
Johnson never lost his affection for the friends of his youth and it
was to Dr Taylor that he first turned after the death of his wife[33].
But neither life-long friendship nor hope of a legacy hindered him from
"roaring down" his host.
Thus, on another visit to Ashbourne:
"Dr Taylor's nose happening to bleed, he said, it was because he had
omitted to have himself blooded four days after a quarter of a year's
interval. Dr Johnson, who was a great dabbler in physick, disapproved
much of periodical bleeding.... 'I do not like to take an emetick,
(said Taylor,) for fear of breaking some small vessels.'--'Poh! (said
Johnson,) if you have so many things that will break, you had better
break your neck at once, and there's an end on't. You will break no
small vessels:' (blowing with high derision.)"
Even on the subject of bull-dogs he had the last word:
"Taylor, who praised everything of his own to excess, ... expatiated
on the excellence of his bull-dog, which, he told us, was 'perfectly
well shaped.' Johnson, after examining the animal attentively, thus
repressed the vain-glory of our host:--'No, Sir, he is _not_ well
shaped; for there is not the quick transition from the thickness of the
fore-part, to the _tenuity_--the thin part--behind,--which a bull-dog
ought to have.' ... Taylor said, a small bull-dog was as good as a
large one. JOHNSON. 'No, Sir; for, in proportion to his size, he has
strength: and your argument would prove, that a good bull-dog may be
as small as a mouse.'"
Johnson found life rather dull at Ashbourne and often had a day's
outing with Boswell:
"After breakfast Dr Johnson and I set out in Dr Taylor's chaise to go
to Derby. The day was fine, and we resolved to go by Keddlestone, the
seat of Lord Scarsdale.... I was struck with the magnificence of the
building; and the extensive park, with the finest verdure, covered with
deer, and cattle, and sheep, delighted me.... 'One should think (said
I) that the proprietor of all this _must_ be happy.'--'Nay, Sir, (said
Johnson,) all this excludes but one evil--poverty.'"