PRINCE AND PARASITE.
"Eternal smiles his emptiness betray,
As shallow streams run dimpling all the way."
Pope.
"I say, Alred!" exclaimed the Atheling to the Norman parasite who had
accompanied him hither, as they sat drinking wine the same evening,
"what sayest thou to the baiting thy Prince has had to-day? I have no
stomach for more. Malediction on them!"
"Heyday, so say I! Scrambling over moor and bog hither was bad enough,
but parleying with quarrelsome thanes and with vulgar braggart churls
such as these, I would not endure with a kingdom thrown into the
bargain. Your Majesty probably thinks different."
"Whew! Not I, Alred! These garlic-bred swine have no more regard for the
person of a prince than for a scurvy villein. A malediction on them!
They would pick my bones within a week, were I to attempt to rule them.
By the bye, that huge Danish boor stood by me. I wish he had been at the
bottom of the sea, for all that, when he enticed me on this fool's
errand. What is the lout's name? Sigurd?"
"The same, my lord. But be advised, for at bottom he's as loutish and as
snarling as the very worst of them, and I would not trust my head in his
jaws for a moment; for as we passed him but yesterday, in our courtly
attire, I heard him under his breath snorting and grumbling like a boar
with a spear between his ribs. The churl! Would he have his Prince dress
like a scurvy swineherd?"
"Beshrew me, Alred, I never could make pretence of ruling such unwashen
clowns. And then, into the bargain, every snarling villein elects to be
king over his own starveling crew, and there would be a king for every
rood of land in England. I'll no more of it, Alred! I thank Heaven my
skin is whole to go back to Scotland with."
"A wise resolve, I swear. Make further oath of fealty to William, and
take his subsidies. Then heigho! for a jolly life at the court of
Malcolm! or, what is better still, to Rouen, where summer's sun tarries
longer, and winter's frosts pinch not the daintiest fingers. There
dark-eyed beauties are kinder, and easier in the wooing. That is Alred's
philosophy. Canst thou gainsay the wisdom of it, my Prince?"
"Alred, thou know'st well the joints of my armour; thou hast pierced a
vulnerable spot. I vow thou hast waked one pleasant memory, sweet Alred;
and there is but one sunny spot in this dreary wilderness of
insubordination and braggadocia."
"What is it, my Prince? Has some nymph awoke the tender passion of love
in thy breast?"
"Rightly guessed, Alred! Did'st thou mark the fair Saxon, whose fiery
zeal for our cause has been so marked. I did not fail to notice she
marked me much and often, and I flatter myself her admiration extends
not only to our cause, but also to our royal person. How sayest thou? By
our Lady, a prize like that would be some recompense for our sickening
and intolerable journey over the wretched moors atween us and Scotland."
"Thou hast the eye of an eagle, puissant Prince, or, to be more correct,
the eye of a vulture. I had hoped this pretty bird would fall to my net.
But alas! thy eye has seen this comely virgin, and I am undone, I trow.
Why, I have already pranked myself before her with some success; but now
I shall lose my quarry."
"Come, come, my jackal! don't despise thine office. Why, man, I never
grudge thy picking the bones, when our royal self hath fed."
"Small thanks is enow for what is left when your gorge rises at
it,--with my humble submission."
"Enough, enough! Canst thou get speech of her? Thou canst bear a message
which should be gratefully received. Tell her her Prince would like to
tender her his special thanks for her great zeal and devotion to his
cause; and invite her hither."
"Have a care, my Prince, and bait your hook daintily. Think you you will
catch your fish with the bare hook? By all the saints, I tell you I saw
forked lightning playing about her eyes when I incautiously gave play to
a little premature pleasantry. Nothing but an imperturbable and brazen
countenance prevented my being transfixed with a thunderbolt. It would
be better to make a great show of bravery, and talk of plans for the
recovery of the kingdom; throwing in battles, sieges, and valorous
hotch-potch of that sort, by the bushel. You will have to tie this filly
with a pretty long tether, or you are undone, for she's high-spirited
and mettlesome enough for anything."
"Good, my ambassador-in-chief; thy wisdom never fails. Would I had my
kingdom, sweet Alred, if 'twere only that I might make thee lord high
chancellor! To be forewarned is to be forearmed: the net shall be a
silken one. But now not another word, for expectancy is on tiptoe. Do
thine errand, and I will bestow on thee further tokens of my regard if
good luck go with thee."
"Pardon me, sire! If I am qualified to be lord high chancellor, I am
qualified to give a little further advice in this matter."
"What is it, Alred? Prithee, come to the point at once: none of thy
sermons. When I am king thou shalt be court preacher, if thou affect
that office; but spare me now, an' thou lovest me."
"Well, here it is. When fair maids of this quality have favours to
grant, mark me, they will have it done daintily. Faugh! What do you take
her for? Don't trust to second-hand dealings too much. Vulgar eyes
looking on at it! Pshaw! What a stomach you credit her with! Listen.
This must be a grand passion; you are entranced, bewitched, dying for
very love of the matchless queen of your heart! Mark me, pitch your
notes high if you would have this pretty bird come fluttering to your
bower. Why, canst thou not rhyme a maudlin verse or two? Come, cudgel
thy brains, and I will help thee with a stave; here are writing
materials."
"Ha, ha, ha! I like thy notions. Come, thou shalt draw us up a rhyme,
such as the gallant knights of Normandy address to their lady-loves. By
my soul, I am three parts Norman, and the other part is not Saxon. So
I'll superscribe no screeching Saxon verse. I declare 'tis a language
which is a cross between the screech of a witch and the grunt of a hog.
Something elegant, or I'll none of it, mark me, Alred."
"Well, it shall be something lofty, I warrant, as becomes a prince. So
here goes:--
"Fair maid of the flaxen hair,
And eyes of the heavenly blue,"----
"Bravo! Ha, ha, ha! Go it, sweet Alred? 'Tis fine! I'll sing that at my
lady's tent door. Get me thy guitar."
"Pray don't interrupt me, my King. The poetic fire is burning; don't let
us miss the glow of it.
"Fair maid of the flaxen hair,
And eyes of the heavenly blue,
Whose graces bewitchingly rare
Have sweetly enchanted my view.
"Oh! haste to thy Prince ever true,
Whose adored one ever thou art.
Thy presence shall sweetly renew
The joy to my languishing heart."
"Bravo! By my soul, Alred, I swear 'tis fine! 'Twould fetch St.
Elizabeth from her pedestal."
"Well, if it will do, draw us up your proposal atop of it, sire, and
I'll try its effect upon this dainty bird of a Saxon."
"Nay, marry! not I, Alred. I'll not spoil thy elegant rhyme by adding
to't my bungling prose. Finish up thy letter handsomely, as 'tis begun,
and I'll affix my seal."
"By our Lady, I'll promise many things, then, which thou wilt not
perform, I warrant. Here it is; listen to't,--
"'FAIR SAXON,--Thy Prince is entranced, bewitched, by thy
incomparable loveliness. My throne, my kingdom, were nothing
compared with thee. Come to me; I vow to make thee the proudest
dame in England. Fly to the arms of your impatient, expectant
lover,
"'EDGAR THE ATHELING.'
"Now affix your sign-manual, sire. I warrant this would make the hearts
of half the damsels at the court of Malcolm frantic with delight. Mark
me, this falcon will strike his quarry quick; if not, I vow I will not
fly another this side Martinmas. Wish me luck, and a share in the spoil
anon, my Prince."
So saying, Alred buttoned up his doublet, buckled on his sword, and,
with the rakish air of an unprincipled Norman gallant, he swaggered off
to the tent of Ethel. There, after many foppish grimaces, and much
foolish adulation, he delivered the missive into her hands; adding to it
suggestions and explanations which Ethel scarce comprehended, and we
cannot chronicle.