LIFE, MANNERS, AND CUSTOMS OF SYRIA.
An addition to the family of a Syrian man is always an event looked
forward to with the greatest anxiety, more especially in cases of a first
child. The mother secretly prays and hopes that it may be a son; so does
the father, but he seldom alludes to the subject. When the propitious
event takes place, no hakeem, except of late in extreme cases, since the
introduction of European medical men, is ever called in. Such a thing
would be considered highly indecorous and improper. Dyâhs (midwives)
{233} are plentiful in Syria, and these females are ready at a moment’s
notice. If the result be a son, then the whole household is overjoyed,
and the husband is besieged by friends and acquaintances, all anxious to
outvie with each other in wishing him joy, and in hoping that the
newly-born son may live to prove his comfort and support in old age. If,
however, a daughter be born to the family, it is looked upon rather in
the light of a misfortune than otherwise. The husband looks as if he
were quite ashamed of himself, the subject is seldom if ever broached,
and if any of his intimate friends allude to the matter, they do it with
the view of consoling the father. The usual form of expression in such
cases is, “She that has brought a daughter will bear a son,” “Inshallah!
if it be the will of God.” Soon after birth the child is wrapped in
swaddling clothes, and is at once nourished by its own mother. Wet
nurses are almost unknown, and are only employed in cases of death or
great debility. The care of attending upon the mother devolves upon the
female relatives; but the women in my country are usually so strong and
robust that little attention is required. No muffling of knockers—no
strewing of straw in the streets—no doctor anxiously expected—no dosing
of both parent and child. Amongst the peasants and lower classes in
particular, the women are so hardy that it is by no means an uncommon
event for a mother, four or five hours after her accouchement, to be seen
propped up with cushions, busily engaged in mending or making baby-linen.
On the fourth day after her confinement, the _Kanum_ or lady is expected
to receive the visits of her acquaintances and friends, both male and
female; and for this occasion a brand new coverlet usually handsomely
worked in silk, has been prepared. Propped up by pillows and covered
with _farooa_, she receives lying-in state visits. Her visitors do not
remain long, but during the whole of the time they are complimenting her
on the fortunate event; and the new-born is paraded round, and gazed at,
and admired; but no one dares to praise him without commencing with
“Mashallah!” “God be praised for it!” This custom of visiting the mother
proves clearly that the usages which existed in the time of our blessed
Saviour, when the wise men from the East came to look upon the newborn
babe, and brought with them offerings, continues up to the present day,
each friend or acquaintance bringing or sending his or her offerings.
The first thing to be done after the birth of the child is to fix upon a
name. This name, if it be the firstborn son, is usually the name of the
child’s paternal grandfather, or else, if the birth takes place on the
anniversary of any great saint’s day, it is called after him; as for
instance, Paul, or John, or Peter, and that saint becomes his patron
through life; this necessary preliminary being arranged, the child is
baptised within a week of its birth for fear it should sicken or die.
The priests usually come to the house, sometimes the child is taken to
the church. The godfathers and godmothers, two of each, and all the
relatives assemble, a large basin of water (made tepid in cold weather),
is placed upon a table and duly consecrated by the priests; the mother
undresses the infant, and hands it naked, as it was born, to the hands of
the officiating priest, and this minister, repeating prayers over it, in
which he is assisted by others, immerses the whole body of the infant
into the water three successive times in the name of the Father, and of
the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Consecrated oil is then used, and the
mark of the cross made with it on the forehead and chest of the infant.
This also is done three times, the sponsors standing by and answering for
the child. It is then wiped dry and carefully swaddled up again, and in
a few minutes the ceremony terminates with the priest’s blessing.
The rest of the day is usually devoted to pleasure, and the parents now
feel more at their ease, as the child has been admitted within the pale
of the Church, and in case of any untoward event, would be entitled to
Christian burial. The father, if this be a first son, drops the name by
which he was formerly known; thus, supposing the name to have been Yusuf
or Michali, and his friends used to call him Sowajar Michali (the father
of Joseph), now that his son has been christened by the name of Yacob,
for instance, they call him Aboo Yacob, or the father of Yacob—a proud
title for a Syrian; for not to have children is looked upon as the
greatest misfortune and disgrace that can happen to a married couple;
whereas, however poor the family, a multitude of children (especially if
they be males) is considered a blessing. The greatest pride of an old
man in Syria is to sit at the doorway of his house, or at the city gate,
of an evening, pipe in hand, surrounded by his sons and grandsons. From
the day of the Psalmist David down to the present day, it may truly be
said in Syria, Blessed are they that have their quiver full of them. “Lo
children and the fruit of the womb are an heritage and gift that cometh
of the Lord. Like as the arrows in the hand of the giant: even so are
the young children. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them;
they shall not be ashamed when they speak with their enemies in the gate”
(Psalm cxxvii. 4, 5, 6).
Although from the first the infant is tenderly cared for, still, it must,
however healthy, have occasionally some slight ailment, and then great
consternation prevails in the household. The devices to heal it are
many. In every Christian family a remnant of the holy palm-leaves,
distributed on Palm Sunday, are very carefully preserved to serve on such
occasions; these are now mixed with olive-leaves, salt, and aloes, and
the whole is then thrown into a small brazier of charcoal, and the smoke
thereof constitutes an incense supposed to expel the evil eye. {236}
Sometimes, strange to say, the ashes of this composition bear strict
resemblance to a human eye. This is taken and crushed on the floor with
the child’s slipper, and the mother expresses a wish that the eyes of the
envious which have brought the illness on the child, may be destroyed in
like manner. After this, if the child is not better, the family priest
is in this interval sent to, and offers up prayers for its welfare. Oil
of almonds is usually applied externally, and rubbed in warm, generally
with very beneficial results. There is also a peculiar kind of soft,
fine earth in Syria, which is much sought after by mothers; this, when
collected, is brought and warmed near the fire; it is then placed in the
cradle, and, being covered with a fine counterpane, the infant, wrapped
in its swaddling clothes, is laid on this, the warm earth retaining
dryness and heat for many hours. Many of the poorer people lay their
infants on the earth itself, and then cover them over warmly. In all
cases it appears to have a beneficial effect on children, who seldom or
ever catch cold. If you wish to incur the displeasure and dislike of a
young mother in Syria, there are two certain methods of gaining this end;
the first is to step across any baby-linen that may be lying about the
ground; the second is to rock the cradle when the child is not in it;
both these are considered very unfavourable to the child, and some
mothers carry these ridiculous superstitions to such an extent, that they
dislike any notice being taken of their children, even though the praise
be accompanied with the indispensable “mashallahs”; but if there is one
thing more than another that young mothers have a superstitious horror
of, it is the visits or enquiries of a barren woman; she, it is supposed,
must entertain a jealousy of those more fortunate than herself, and her
praises be insincere and terrible.
To such an extent do these ridiculous superstitions prevail, that if, by
any misfortune, a child should happen to die, even though it be a year
after any remarks may have been applied to it by a childless woman, these
have been, nevertheless, treasured up, and the evil is laid at her door.
Children are usually weaned in their fourteenth or fifteenth month, and
then they are for a short time nourished principally on cow’s or goat’s
milk; but by the time a child is eighteen months old, it has learned to
eat all manner of dishes, and they are so pampered and indulged in this
respect, that from the minute they awake, till they fall asleep again,
their stomachs have hardly any respite. Fruit, bread, cheese, meat;
anything and everything is set before them from the very false notion
that, the more they eat, the faster and the stronger they will grow.
This notion prevails throughout Syria, and it is imagined that strength
cannot be gained except by hearty eating. So that when a man is very
ill, and a doctor is sent for, his friends are all clamorous and anxious
to tell him how many hours has elapsed since he last partook of food, and
beg of him to insist on the patient’s eating something forthwith, or to
give him some medicine that will give him an appetite. It is quite
beyond their comprehension to understand that in some instances food
would be very injurious in its effects. A man or a child has only to
say, “_Ena-juaan_,” or “I am hungry,” and it would be considered a
heinous sin not to gratify this craving instantly. All this, however, is
pardonable when the real motives, those of sincere love and pity for the
sufferer, are considered, mistaken though they may be; but time and
education can alone remedy this evil. So soon as the boy is able,
unaided, to run about and talk, he is then taken in hand by his father;
his dress is always of the best obtainable materials, and if his father
be a merchant or shopkeeper, he accompanies him to his office, and there,
seated cross-legged, begins to ape the actions and conversation of his
father. He is early instructed in lessons of sedateness and
self-respect, and if not cheerfully willing to obey and listen, a few
taps of the rod soon bring him to his senses. For the Syrian father acts
upon the proverb, which says, “If you wish the tree to grow up straight
and be fruitful you must prune its branches when young.” Slight
castigations are generally inflicted by them in the absence of the
mother, for otherwise they would be of no effect. Some mothers are very
attached to their first-born so that they would willingly sacrifice their
own lives rather than that their darling should suffer ever so slight an
affront. Whipping a child in a mother’s presence would invariably lead
to high words and ill feeling, and the result would be, that the child,
whipped by one parent and petted by the other, would naturally imagine
itself very ill used—hate the father and love the mother. The good
effects of the punishment would be lost, and the child only grow more
wary and naughty. To avoid these family broils, the father early
accustoms his son to accompany him to his place of business; bearing the
key in the same manner as it was done in the days of the prophets, upon
his shoulder. Is. xxii. 22. There, unseen by the mother’s eye, the
child soon learns implicit obedience to his father’s will, and as this
obedience is at first always rewarded by some small present of fruit or
so forth, the boy grows in love as well as in obedience. It is
surprising what sage little fellows, of only five years old, one meets
perched up cross-legged in the shops of their fathers; they are so well
versed in the every-day business of the profession, that the father can
repose every confidence in them, and leave them for hours together to
deal with customers, weigh out, bargain, and effect sales. A child
naturally takes a pride in thus early finding itself useful and
important, and there are few children in the world that are more
precocious than those of my native country. A child brought up in this
way would think it highly indecorous to romp and play about during
business hours. In the evening, however, he is permitted to repair to
the fields with his companions; the onus of business has been laid aside,
and the perfect child shows itself once more in the merry game or joyous
laugh of the sportive crew.
By the time a child is six years old, he seldom, if ever, requires
chastisement; indeed, he thinks to be scolded is a perfect disgrace, and
is consequently ever on the guard not to incur his father’s displeasure.
The father who now thinks it is time that his son should be instructed to
read and write, works upon the feelings of the boy so as to excite in him
a great desire for learning. He usually commences by telling him that he
is quite ashamed of having such an ignorant son whereas his neighbours’
children are all well instructed, and know the whole of the Psalms by
heart, for the acquirement of these invariably forms the commencement of
Syrian education; the child protests that he only lacks opportunity, and
the next day his schooling begins.
The etiquette of Syrian manners is early instilled into the mind of the
Syrian boy; he is taught, on first rising in the morning, after prayers
and the necessary ablutions, to wish the “_Saboh il Kahir_” (“good
morning,”) to every individual of the household, commencing with the
father and finishing with the lowest menial in the establishment. After
this, the son sees that his father is supplied with the necessary coffee,
a slice of toast, and his _narghili_, and then next to his father he
ranks himself, excepting when strangers are present. On the arrival of a
guest, he is taught to go forth and welcome him as far as the threshold
of the entrance-door, and this he does meekly, taking and kissing the
hand of the visitor if a man of advanced age, at the same time
overwhelming him with such flattering compliments, as, for instance, “The
day at this moment has become bright.” “My thoughts have always been
concentrated on you, O light of my eyes!” The boy then follows the guest
to the _mistaba_, where his father is ready to receive him, and having
busied himself ordering necessary refreshments, he returns to the divan,
and seating himself at some distance from the others, listens in
respectful silence to their conversation, or pulling out the brass
inkhorn from his side (Ezek. ix.), which contains likewise his stock of
pens (and is an inseparable companion, being always thrust into the
girdle and carried about with him from morning till night), he possesses
himself of some stray piece of paper, may be the back of a letter, and
improves the moments as they fly by furthering his knowledge in
arithmetic.
When a priest calls at the house, then the son is all attention; none but
himself is permitted to serve him; he replenishes the pipe-bowls, fetches
the fire, hands him the coffee and other refreshments, and each time
retires from the presence of the rev. father with fresh blessings heaped
upon his head. The son is early taught to listen, but never to speak
unless first spoken to, to be deferential to all old people, kind to the
poor, and especially to the blind, sympathising with servants, whose
faults he must correct with mildness and leniency, and above all, to
abhor and hold in utter detestation all strong drinks and drunkards. You
may travel from one end of Syria to the other, and mingle with every
grade of every creed, and I may safely state, that drunkards are rarely
met with. None but those who have travelled in Europe, or have mixed
with European society, are addicted to this vice.
The son is taught to adhere strictly to all laws of cleanliness. There
are few people that are more rigid in the observance of them than the
Syrian. On first rising, and on going to bed, before and after every
meal, before and after every little promenade, hands and face are washed
with soap and water and a few leaves of the lemon-tree; the mouth is also
rinsed out, sometimes with simple water, sometimes with rose or
orange-flower water, according to the opulence or poverty of the man.
Tooth and hair-brushes are unknown among the Syrians. On entering a
house, he is taught to leave his shoes before intruding into the
visitors’ hall, and with light yellow slippers on, treads over the
carpet; he advances to all the elders who happen to be present, kissing
their hands and placing them on his head to intimate his respect and
obedience. On entering a church in some parts of the country, he leaves
his shoes outside. {242} This practice dates from the period of Moses
and the burning bush, when the Lord addressed Moses, saying, “Draw not
nigh hither: put off thy shoes from off thy feet, for the place whereon
thou standest is holy ground” (Exod. iii. 5). Likewise he also lifts the
turban off his head for a while, and then replaces it. During the
reading of the Gospel and Belief all the males remain uncovered.
So soon as a boy’s education is completed, and this simply consists in
his being able to read and write Arabic, with a slight knowledge of
arithmetic, then the father anxiously looks out for some opening which
may enable his son thus early to acquire a knowledge of the world, and of
the necessity of fighting one’s own battles, so as to be independent of
the support of others; but though the son may earn a sufficiency to
maintain himself without drawing on his father’s revenue, he still
remains an inmate of the parental roof; indeed, in many instances he
never quits it, and it is not uncommon to see the son a man of mature
years himself, with his own children fast growing up to manhood, paying
the most implicit obedience and respect to his father’s commands and
wishes, just with the same deference that a child six years old would
obey an austere father; indeed such is the universal reverence with which
parents are treated, that (though these instances are rare) fathers have
been known to chastise their sons when they had attained the mature age
of thirty-five or forty; and the son, though father of a family himself,
and though smarting from shame and indignation at such an exposure before
the eyes of his own wife and children, has meekly borne the correction
and kissed the hand that chastised him. “Honour thy father and thy
mother that thy days may be long in the land,” is a commandment acted up
to the letter in Syria, and any son transgressing this law, would meet
with small sympathy from his countrymen, would be shunned by all, and be
an object of indignation and scorn to all Orientals of whatever creed.
Even that ferocious tyrant, Djessar Pasha, who never hesitated to
sacrifice human life, whose wives and concubines were all massacred by
his own hands to satiate his furious jealousy and rage against one
unhappy girl, who had been discovered carrying on a flirtation with an
officer of his court; even he, villain though he was, respected this law
and enforced others to respect it. A story is told of a young Christian,
who, being newly married, took possession of the whole of his father’s
house, leaving the poor old man, who was a widower and a cripple, barely
sufficient rags to cover his nakedness, or food to satisfy his hunger.
The Pasha, hearing of this atrocious conduct, sent for the miscreant, and
when he was brought trembling into his presence, exclaimed, “Hast thou no
fear of God? In an hour’s time let me hear that your father, dog that
you are, is in the possession of every comfort and luxury; or, by my
beard, your head shall answer for this crime.”
When the son is about twelve years of age, his parents begin to look
about them to choose out from amongst the neighbours a suitable wife for
their first-born. This is an arduous undertaking, and the son is often
consulted as to whether he has any particular choice amongst his
playmates and companions. Sometimes he has, sometimes he leaves all to
the good judgment of his mother, always, however, stipulating, that the
girl must be young, pretty, and good-tempered. Old women who go from
house to house with trinkets and other articles to sell are sometimes
commissioned by the mothers to look out for such eligible objects. If
they know any party likely to suit, they acquaint the mother. They next
find out when the maiden attends the bath, and inform their employer, who
goes there at the same time, and if, upon seeing the girl, she thinks her
likely to suit her son, she contrives to make her acquaintance. The old
woman also, on her part, mentions the youth to the maiden and her family
with the greatest possible praise, and the affair may be considered
accomplished. The choice having thus fallen upon some one or other, and
the preliminaries arranged, the dower to be paid for her settled,
handkerchiefs bought, rings ordered, and a choice party of intimate
friends invited, who, accompanied by the priest, repair to the house of
the intended bride’s father. Sometimes the girl is brought into the room
closely veiled, the young lad being present also—vows, and rings, and
presents, are exchanged—the priest pronounces his blessing—the pair are
betrothed, and from that day till the wedding takes place, become utter
strangers to each other. They may have been bosom companions only the
day before, romping with each other from early childhood, but the moment
that the betrothal had taken place, there is an inseparable barrier to
their meeting or conversing again till the church shall have pronounced
them man and wife. This generally lasts six months, but sometimes mere
children are engaged, and then they have to wait till both have arrived
at years of maturity before they can get married. It seldom, if ever,
happens, excepting, of course, in cases of death, that these betrothals
are put aside or broken, the church considering the vows then pledged as
binding on either side as the marriage vow itself.
In order to give my readers some idea of an Oriental courtship, I will
quote the account which my friend, the well known Assaad Kajah gives of
his own:—“I went to my friend H. Khooja Hahib Giammal, a liberal and
enlightened gentleman. He allowed his beautiful eldest daughter to hand
me the sherbet, and the moment I saw her, as we say in our Eastern
language, ‘a thousand of my vertebræ got broken,’ and she took my heart
with her when she left the room. I knew I was a favourite with her
father, and I returned home resolved not to delay making my proposals.
“I told my father the state of my heart, and requested him to take a
diamond ring and a fine white handkerchief, the emblem of betrothment, to
the father of the damsel, and entreat him to allow me the joy of being
betrothed to his daughter Martha. With a view to shew that I acted on
the impulse of my own heart, and not merely by the guidance of my
parents, I followed the example of our Patriarch ‘Isaac’ in the case of
his beloved ‘Rebekah’ (Genesis xxiv. 22). I therefore sent to my own
beloved ‘a golden ear-ring of half a shekel weight, and two bracelets for
her hands of ten shekels weight of gold.’ Thus, the ancient custom of
upwards of three thousand years old is retained by the people; and a
Syrian does not inquire what a purse his bride is to have, but whether
his Rebekah is such a one as was brought up like Nahor’s Milcah; their
popular proverb is this: ‘_Khud alasseil walanah alhassir_,’ ‘Take the
one of good root (i.e., of good parents), though she may be on a mat’
(that is, though her parents may have no more furniture in their dwelling
than a mat).
“My beloved father, in his kind way, took my message, and with a beating
heart I waited for the answer. In about an hour he returned, and said,
smiling, ‘Assaad, all thy affairs seem to go smoothly.’”
I am continually asked by my fair friends the number of wives I have left
in Syria; my reply is, that I am not married, though I fervently hope
some bright day to crown my earthly bliss with an English wife; the
ladies seemed quite incredulous on my informing them, that only one is
permitted by our law. The Mahommedan religion, it is true, admits of
four lawful wives, besides concubines; but I can confidently assert, that
the majority even of Mussulmans have but one wife. Possibly, in default
of issue, another may be taken—this, however, is the _exception_, not the
_rule_; and though polygamy has existed to a greater or less extent in
the East since the days of the Psalmist David, and his son, the wise King
Solomon, still where it is mostly practised now-a-days is amongst the
wild Arab tribes, south of Gaza and the Nosairiyeh. Of these latter I
have known an instance of a man marrying two wives on the same day, both
young maidens, from different villages. But amongst the Turks the
practice is anything but prevalent; in proof of which I may quote as
instances, the late Grand Vizier Aali Pasha, the former one, Reschid
Pasha, and Cabuli Effendi, the present talented Secretary for Foreign
Affairs, and most of the leading Turkish gentlemen who have resided in
Christian countries, have but one wife. As a proof of this I will relate
an amusing story current in the East:—
A certain Mahomedan had two wives, one of these occupied the lower, the
other the upper, chamber of the house in which he lived. To prevent as
much as possible all appearance of undue preference, he made it his rule
to visit them alternately. The communication between the upper story and
the ground floor was by a short ladder. One evening as he proceeded to
mount this precarious staircase, in order to visit his beloved above, his
down stairs wife immediately vociferated, that his memory had failed him,
and that, in the due course of things, he had to remain with her. This
the husband denied, and continued to mount the steps of the ladder. In
despair, and still protesting loudly her right, the lady flew to the
ladder, and the moment his head emerged into the floor of the upper
chamber, seized her husband by the legs and arrested his further
progress. The lady up-stairs, however, who had now got an inkling of the
contest, and fearful on her part of being outwitted, rushed to the top of
the ladder, and while the lady beneath was partly succeeding in pulling
the unfortunate man down by the legs, suddenly seized him by that tuft of
hair which is left on the head of every true believer, pulled as
vigorously as her rival though in an opposite direction. While they
tugged at their victim alternately, and doubt seemed to hang over
victory, and it even appeared possible that the contested property might
be rent in sunder between them, accompanied with all those noisy
vociferations with which the fair sex are accustomed to conduct their
combats, especially in the East, a thief introduced himself into the
house, and was an unperceived spectator of the scene.
Some time afterwards, the thief was apprehended and carried before the
Cadi, to whom he related the circumstance of which he had been witness.
“Well,” said the magistrate, “your punishment shall be either to lose
your head, or like the man you have robbed, immediately possess yourself
of two wives—you shall have the option.” “After what I have seen,”
replied the criminal, “I have no hesitation; better to lose my head and
go at once to Paradise than live to be torn in half between two jealous
wives.”
Although it is most true, that in Europe polygamy is disallowed, I need
not say how often the marriage vow is broken, and how many are the
delinquents. Often old men even have mistresses in addition to their own
lawful wife. Much of this corruption evidently arises from the
iniquitous practice of _mariage de convenance_, so often speculated in by
most match-making mothers, in the two greatest capitals of Europe. Men
and women, who have not a single idea in common, and no sympathy with
each other, are inveigled into marriages because the one has wealth and
the other titles, or what is worse, beauty is bartered for gold. I am
quite at a loss to account for the utter want of feeling in those parents
who can ruthlessly sacrifice the happiness and peace of mind of their own
child, by marrying a girl, perhaps of sixteen, to a half-idiotic or
toothless man, in infirmity or age, thus ill calculating either for the
happiness or protection of inexperienced youth. (_I know of such
instances_). It is not in nature that such a couple should be happy; for
a young man cannot be fascinated by the charms of a haggish old woman,
neither is it possible, where such disparities exist, for a young girl to
nourish one spark of that warm affection which should ever exist between
man and wife.
Now, in Syria, such marriages never occur. A man takes a wife for a
_helpmate_ not for a puppet—for a companion in health—a consolation in
sickness, to help him in enjoying the bounteous gifts of nature, or to
soothe when the cloud of affliction rests over his pathway. This was why
marriage was constituted, and this is why people get married in the East.
It is true that an Oriental wife cannot paint, or play the piano or harp,
but she can sing in her own quiet way, and that sweetly, too—never
sweeter than when she is hushing her first-born to slumber; and she can
dance on any very festive occasion, not the giddy flaunting waltz or
polka, but a quiet measured tread, graceful and becoming without being
indecorous. It may be that a man does sometimes marry a girl possessed
of a wealthy dower; but these instances are rare, and when they do occur,
the dower is, for the most part, invested in jewels or in lands. If in
the latter, the husband enjoys a life-interest in them—he is indeed lord
and master of the property, and can make any improvements he sees fit:
the former generally decorate the wife’s turban on festive occasions; but
in case of misfortune, then these are pledged or sold off one by one to
meet the emergency. I trust many of my fair readers will, after perusing
this, feel convinced of the binding and solemn nature of the marriage tie
amongst Christians in Syria. Far be it from me by these observations, to
throw any slur upon the married life of the people of Western Europe; I
merely wish to show to those who imagine that polygamy is universal in
the East, that the same thing, but in a different form, is as prevalent
in their own country. The English, indeed, are, upon the whole, freer
from this vice than most other civilised nations, and their domestic
felicity far exceeds that of any other people.
But to return to the immediate subject. The son, as soon as he is
married, is fairly embarked in life, and if his father be a widower, then
the whole of the household arrangements devolve upon the young wife. The
son is generally master of the house, and the old man retires from
business and the bustle of life, passing the rest of his days as a guest
or sort of pensioner in his own house, and seldom meddling with its
domestic economy. Should the mother, however, still survive, she devotes
her time to instructing her daughter-in-law in domestic matters, and also
accompanies her when she goes out.
There is one thing very praiseworthy amongst the Syrians, and a trait in
our character which many civilised nations would do well to take for an
example. I allude to untiring love and charity between not only members
of one household, but all relations or connexions, however distantly
connected. One seldom or ever hears of a father and his children being
on bad terms, or of quarrels and broils between sisters and brothers. Of
course they are not exempt from angry passions; high words may rise
between them, and even ill feeling rancour in their hearts, but they
never allow “the sun to set on their wrath;” and if only for appearance’
sake, they make it up again speedily, and converse and chat as freely as
ever. In this respect they act up to a wise, if not elegant, French
proverb—“_Le linge sale doit être lavé en famille_.” No strangers are
permitted to rejoice at their discords, or mock at their infirmities.
Then, again, so long as one member of a family is well off, he will never
suffer his poor relations to feel want. If he can find them employment,
well and good; if not, they have the shelter of his own house, and food
from his own table; and in return, all he expects is, that they will lend
a hand at being useful. Every want is supplied them: and if even clothes
be necessary, these are provided. When two or more relations of a poor
man are well to do, they join together to assist him; and this in a great
measure accounts for the scarcity of street-beggars in most parts of
Syria. A Syrian would consider it a disgrace to his name, that any
member of his family should be suffered to want whilst he had a crumb to
spare, and it would be looked upon as a heinous sin in a religious point
of view. In England, perhaps, it would not be fashionable to have a poor
relation out at elbows, tarnishing the splendidly furnished drawing-room
of a wealthy relative; or it would not be convenient to curtail the
luxury and voluptuous display of every-day wealth, to contribute a
pittance for the maintenance of a starving nephew or a crippled brother.
This may not be fashionable, but it would be Christian-like; and rest
assured, O slave of the world, so full of all “the pomps and vanities of
this wicked world,” that when He comes, who gave even His life for your
salvation, then the poor uneducated Syrian—the man who has received
little—will have a far lighter account to balance with the Great Author
of eternal life, than you who have possessed and have withheld.
Public prostitution was a thing entirely unknown in Syria until
intercourse with Europeans introduced it first into the sea-ports; from
thence it gradually spread inland. Formerly the most severe punishments
were inflicted for this crime, and where the authorities failed to
interfere, the relatives took the law into their own hands, and very
summarily disposed of an offender against their honour. Even now-a-days,
such poor creatures are rare; and if by chance one meets with one, she is
invariably under the protection of some European—of itself a sufficient
guarantee from punishment. I remember a most shocking instance of the
punishment inflicted upon a woman of this class some eighteen years ago,
at Beyrout. Her family were neighbours of mine. She was several times
warned to be on her guard, but totally disregarded these warnings, till
at length, some of the men connected with her family, entered (with the
father’s knowledge and consent) the house of her paramour at night, and
after hewing her to pieces, threw her remains into a well attached to a
house belonging to my uncle, the Rev. Kouri Georgius Risk Allah.
The girls in Syria are principally educated in housewifery, such as
baking, washing, cooking, etc. Starching and ironing are as yet unknown,
except to a few aspiring geniuses at Beyrout, who, from this knowledge,
derive no small emolument. The girls are also instructed in the
management of all household affairs, the care of poultry, and even of
making cream-cheese, bread, pastry and _leban_, and also in household
superstitions. Amongst these last, they are taught—
Never to rock a cradle when it is empty, because evil spirits are very
fond, so say old crones in Syria, of being rocked.
Never to sweep the house after sunset, as this is only practised when
there has been a death in the family and after the body has been carried
out.
Never to look into a mirror after sunset, for an _afreet_ is sure to be
peeping over their shoulder, and he may shew himself to them in such a
very unpleasant manner as might frighten them to death instanter. Only
think of this, ye opera-going and ball-frequenting young ladies! What a
hard case it would be if you were forbidden to look into a mirror after
candles have been rung for.
Never to cut their finger or toe-nails near a basin of water; for if the
nail should chance to fall into the water, they have nothing left to them
but to make their will and go to bed, for, according to the logic of all
old women, die they must.
And last and not least—Never to interrupt or harm the black snake of the
house—_Hye il sauda_. In almost every house in Syria there is a peculiar
black serpent, large but very harmless, which takes up its abode in the
cellar of the house, and will never afterwards quit its nook or corner
till killed, or till the house falls, or the snake dies. No Syrian would
ever intentionally kill these snakes, for, besides keeping mice and rats
away, they are held in such deep veneration, that endless are the absurd
superstitions and tales told about them, all of which I myself once
firmly believed in. Amongst other things, it is said, that if you
destroy one of these snakes, the mate will be sure to seek for and obtain
vengeance. They pretend, further, that these snakes are doatingly fond
of milk, and that the smell of it will immediately attract them. It is
commonly believed, that a young mother may be sure, if she is not on the
watch, that the black snake will come in the night and feed off her
breasts, till it has drained them so dry that there is nothing left for
the infant; and again, with regard to the child, should the snake be
disappointed in getting its supply of milk from the fountain-head, that
it will then resort to the artifice of inserting its tail into the
infant’s mouth, and so tickling its throat as to cause it to be sick, and
thus supply itself with food. But the most ludicrous story told is about
the conscientiousness of one of these snakes, a story which is firmly
believed by most Orientals. It runs thus: “In Syria, it is the custom of
every family to lay up a year’s provisions of all the necessaries of
life, in store-rooms attached to the house; these provisions consist of
melted butter in jars for cooking rice, wheat, burghal, etc. Now, as the
story goes, one of these black snakes once deposited her eggs in one of
these store-rooms, a hole in the corner of which led to a serpent’s nest.
The young ones had been hatched, and were all assembled together
gambolling about, when some of the children, happening to surprise these
young snakes at their frolics, seeing that they were very small, whipped
them up in their handkerchiefs, and ran off with them to the other end of
the house. Now think what might have been the serious results of this
frolic. Mother snake coming home could not find her young ones, and made
a pretty to do about it. At last she discovered that the children had
stolen them, and in her rage and vexation determined to be revenged on
the whole family. Accordingly, with the assistance of her tail, she
removed the cover of the butter-jar, and inserting her fangs into the
butter, succeeded in poisoning the whole mass. Bye and bye, home came
the lady of the house from the bath, and no sooner did she see what the
children had been about, than, with many screams and exclamations, she
insisted on the young snakes being carried back again. No sooner said
than done; and now mother snake began to regret deeply what she had done.
How to remedy the evil was the question—speak she could not, nor had she
any other method of warning the family not to use the butter. Well, now
what do you think she did? She called the male snake to her assistance,
and these two, coiling themselves round the thin jar, squeezed with all
their might and main, till the jar broke into a hundred pieces, the
melted butter ran out on the ground, and was lost, and the family were
saved from being poisoned.”
This is one amongst the many fabulous tales about the black household
snake of Syria; but such like superstitions need not startle educated
people in England, when they remember the endless fables that pass
current in their own land about many animals, plants, and things—even to
coffins darting out of fires, winding-sheets in candles, and lover-like
apparitions in tea-cups.
It must not be supposed that the higher classes of Syrians are not
scrupulous with regard to the laws of etiquette; on the contrary, they
strictly enforce them. If Kowagar Bustros and his family called to see
Kowagar Saba and his family on this Tuesday, Kowagar Saba will return the
visit next Tuesday. If Kowagar Domian invite Kowagar Michali and family
to dinner, Kowagar Michali and family give a return party to Kowagar
Domian. But the grand day for receiving visits in every house is the
_Eed_, or festival of the master of the house, which is annually
celebrated on that saint’s day whose name he has taken, and whose
patronage he acknowledges. Thus all those of the name of Michali remain
at home on St. Michael’s day, and all their acquaintances call to see
them, and to wish them health, luck, and prosperity; some bring fruits,
some sweetmeats, and few come empty-handed. If this usage is productive
of no very beneficial effects, it at least serves to promote a kindly
feeling betwixt neighbours and friends; and this, after all, is a grand
point to observe if one wishes to be comfortable and happy in this world.
When a Syrian dies, after a few hours the hired mourners are sent for,
according to a custom which has apparently prevailed from the most remote
antiquity, as we find it referred to in Amos v. 16. The cries raised by
these women are peculiarly mournful and affecting when they are first
heard announcing to the immediate neighbourhood that one of their number
has departed, or reaching the ear of the passing stranger with their
intelligence of death and sorrow. Wax-tapers are then sent round to his
friends as a notice that they are invited to the funeral, which always
takes place within twenty-four hours after death. When they are
assembled in the church, the tapers are lit, the corpse is placed in the
centre, and the service is read; then the candles are extinguished, the
body is carried to the grave by his friends, is buried, and “his place
knows him no more” (Job vii. 9–10).
I am tempted to close this chapter with the following lament of a lover
over the grave of his mistress, literally translated from the Arabic.
I.
Alas! and ah well a-day, that my rose-faced love, my intimate, my soul’s
companion, should be enveloped in her shroud! That tongue, once
familiar, with so many languages, gives utterance now to none. I listen
vainly and am astonished not to hear thy once-loved voice.
II.
Tell me, O Grave, tell me, is her incomparable beauty gone? Has she,
too, faded, as the petals fall from the sweetest flower, and her lovely
face changed—changed and gone! Thou art not a garden, O Grave; nor yet
heaven; still all the fairest flowers and the brightest plants are culled
by thee.
III.
O black, mysterious Ground, tell me how or wherefore have we sinned, that
thou art prone to hug the beautiful, the chaste, the rare—and yet so cold
thy love. Stones alone hast thou for pillows for the tender, the loved,
the fair.
IV.
O Ground—confusion to thy face!—think not the treasure that is withering
in thy grasp is thine. O no! Thank God, her soul, her immortality, is
far beyond thy reach.
V.
Earth, unfeeling Earth, thy heart is adamant; nor hope nor pity find a
place in thee. Yet seeds sown in thy bosom spring up as flowers
beautiful and rare. Without thee, a solitary soul—a blank is the world
to me—nor merry laugh nor cheerful glance has now a charm.
VI.
Sometimes I weep alone to think that I have lost thy love for ever—and
then, oh! bitterly weep to see thy mother’s furrowed brow—full well she
feels the treasure lost—the young child and the beautiful. I marvel not,
angel, that thou art gone—for heaven were better fitted for thy home than
earth; but I marvel that we can live yet awhile on earth—live without thy
smile.
VII.
And thou who couldst barely resist the cold—thy fate is hard—nor friend
to whisper comfort, nor careful eye to watch—in thy cold, solitary,
mysterious grave—none can give comfort. But how foolish! I speak to
dust. Thy soul, thank God! is far beyond the hurt of man or evil spirit.