No, no! A natural alarm, but needless!
'Tis true subversive dolts in these sad times
Do call on you to flourish and to feed less,
And hint that pomp and turtle soup are crimes.
The sour fanatics!
Scribblers who'd set the world straight from their attics.
But they will never dare--the dastards, No!--
To stop the Lord Mayor's Show.
Your fright, my Lord, 's a pardonable error.
The Proclamation can't apply to you.
No one, I'm sure, can take you for a Terror,
Red, white, or any other tint or hue.
Are you "disorderly"?
No; you within legality's trim-kept border lie;
From touching you even almighty Law
Would shrink with utter awe.
True you "perambulate the streets." What noddy
Objects? You do not "break into a run,"
And as to "terrorising" anybody,
No one could hint at that, except in fun.
"Hooting and yelling"
Are not your vocal habits. WARREN'S belling
The Cat of Anarchy; he'll tell you that.
You are not quite that Cat.
It's claws are showing, and they may want clipping,
And shindy in the streets is just a pest;
But Law, though lately once or twice found tripping,
Won't interfere with the calm Civic nest.
MATTHEWS seems heedless,
And "shoves his oar in" in a style most needless;
But even he would hardly raise his clutch
The sacred Ninth to touch.
No, a good rule may have a good exception.
You're popular, pass on! Rowdies and raff
Need raps. Let him in civism adept, shun
The spouter's bawling, and the Bobby's staff.
Mad mobs in Town
Are a vile nuisance that must be put down;
But you're not a "Procession," don't you know,--
_You_ are--a "Show"!
* * * * *
"CHARLES OUR FRIEND."
Bravo, Sir CHARLES WARREN! The roughs may consider you a Rabid Warren,
but what does that matter to you, or to us, or to any lover of order,
peace, and quietness in this vast Metropolis? You're not a weasel to be
caught napping, and your recent Proclamation is admirable, if its
provisions be only justly and exactly carried out. Your arrangements
too--talking of provisions--for housing the houseless, seem to be
remarkably judicious. _Mr. Punch_ trusts that the Processions which you
mention, and "the wandering bands perambulating the streets," which you
are going to consider as disorderly, will be taken to include those
disturbers of our Sunday Quiet, calling themselves Members of the
Salvation Army, who, it is to be hoped, in every district wherever their
presence is not welcome to a majority of the respectable residents, will
be summarily dispersed and their noise stopped. On working days let
perambulating bands come out for air and exercise, only let them take
care that their "air" be always in tune. That schools and clubs should
have their bands is an excellent thing. But there are six days in the
week for noise, and the Salvationists can let us have our Sunday in
peace. _Mr. Punch_ is all for freedom of speech, and so he speaks out
freely. He is all for the liberty of the subject, but the subject must
remember that he is a subject, and _Mr. Punch_ takes the liberty to
remind him of it. At the meeting of real working men of business to
protest against these meetings in Trafalgar Square, Mr. FREDERICK GORDON
spoke up for his Metropole-itan interests in Grand style. The HOME
SECRETARY, it is to be hoped, carefully pondered the speeches of these
practical gentlemen. Mr. ATTENBOROUGH, too,--"O, my prophetic soul, my
uncle!"--gave distinct evidence of the injury done to trade in and about
Trafalgar Square. The Rev. Mr. KITTO moved a resolution, and Mr.
BIDDULPH seconded it,
Saying ditto
To Mr. KITTO.
And _Mr. Punch_ once more expresses his hope that the first Act of next
Session will be one to regulate meetings and processions in and about
London, whereby orderly citizens may enjoy their rights undisturbed.
Trafalgar Square and all our great thoroughfares should be "proclaimed
districts," as regards the loafers, roughs, and rowdies whose object is
plunder, and whose end is--or, at least, should be--punishment.
=Punch.=
* * * * *
[Illustration: ALL THE DIFFERENCE.