_Enter John in tears._
_John’s Mother_—Well, dear Johnny, why do you cry so hard? Where on
earth did you come from? Have you been fighting, and did you act the
coward, and get whipped, and run home? Speak, my darling boy, and speak
quickly, so that your dear mother can sympathise with you.
_John_—(still crying)—Dear mother, my heart is so full of woe, that I
cannot speak.
_Mother_—(begins to cry)—O, God! I fear something awful has happened to
my adored son, and that he is injured internally, and will soon die.
(Falls on her knees, and clasps her hands, and wails in piteous tones,
and implores God to spare her son.)
_John_—(seizing her)—Don’t cry, dear mother, my heart, not my form, is
bruised.
_Mother_—And who bruised your big heart? Did a ruffian throw a stone, or
kick you, or strike your heart with his fist? O tell me quickly, so that
I can fell him to the earth.
_John_—Neither, good mother, neither. I spoke figuratively, when I said
my heart was bruised.
_Mother_—And an’t figures facts? How strangely you talk, dear Johnny.
Did not your old mother go to school, and did she not cipher as far as
Distraction? And when you say your poor heart is bruised figuratively,
you talk from the Rule of Distraction, don’t you? Mr. Daboll used to say
so, before you was born. Go to, my son, go to, for your old mother is
not so far distracted as not to understand figures as far as
Distraction.
_Father_ (just emerging from a profound nap)—What is all this row about?
_Mother_—Some rowdy has bruised Johnny’s heart.
_Father_—Where is my hat? I’ll pursue the rascal.
_John_—Hold, father, hold, and you, mother, please calm your nerves, and
listen to my brief but plaintive story.
_Father_—Go on, dear son.
_Mother_—And we will judge impartially.
_John_—I have left Mr. Bennett.
_Mother_—Good Lord! For what?
_John_—Because he wanted me to tell lies.
_Mother_—(falling)—O God! O God! We are hungry and nearly naked, and may
soon be houseless, but thou hast blessed us with an honest boy, which is
a far more precious boon than food and raiment and shelter. (And she
utters a long and fervent and grateful prayer to God, for the unwavering
integrity of her beloved son, while Johnny and his father weep aloud on
their bended knees.)
_Father_ (the distracted mother still prostrate on the floor)—John: Did
Mr. Bennett pay you what he owed you?
_John_—He offered to, but I would not take it.
_Father_—Why?
_John_—Because I thought he got it dishonestly, as he wanted me to tell
lies.
_Father_—My landlord was here to-day, and I told him I expected some
money from Mr. Bennett for your services, and he will be here this
evening, for his rent, and I fear he will turn us into the street, when
I tell him that I cannot pay him.
_John_—I am very sorry, father, that you will be cast into the street,
on my account. (The father weeps, and the mother springs to her feet,
and kisses Johnny, and swears that if the landlord attempts to drive
them into the open air, she will dash his brains out.)
_John_ (putting on his hat, and with one hand on the latch)—Don’t cry,
dear father and mother, nor be excited and unhappy in my brief absence.
_Mother_—Where are you going, Johnny?
_John_—I am going round to the fire engine house, to see a noble young
fireman, who is a warm friend of mine, and whose father is very rich,
and I am sure he will cry when I tell him that my poor old father and
mother are sick and hungry, and are about to be thrust into the street.
_Mother_ (on the verge of despair)—Tell him our mournful story, Johnny,
but do not beg. No, my Johnny, for God’s sake, don’t beg. Let us all die
before we implore alms. Your mother is too proud to have her son descend
to that. Don’t beg, Johnny, don’t beg, I implore you. It is my last
prayer to my dear son.
_John_—I could not beg, mother. I would die before I would thus degrade
myself and noble parents, who have seen fairer days than these. Besides,
my friend is humane, and so are his parents, and I am sure I will not
have to beg him to relieve us. It will be sufficient for him to learn of
our destitution, and that we became utterly poor, because I would not
tell lies for James Gordon Bennett.
_Father_—Go, my son, to your young fireman friend, and tell your story
in your own way. I’m sure you will never degrade your father and mother,
after your refusal to lie for Mr. Bennett.
_Mother_—Go, Johnny, and soon return to your distracted parents, and let
them know their fate.
_John_ (kissing his mother, and warmly pressing his father’s hand)—Good
bye, father and mother, and I’ll soon bring you pleasing news, and a
deliverance from abject penury. (He goes.)
_Evening—Enter Landlord._
_Landlord_—Well, Mr. Kelly, have you got my rent?
_Mr. Kelly_—No, sir. My son has left Mr. Bennett, because he wanted him
to tell lies.
_Landlord_—For what?
_Mr. Kelly_—Because he wanted him to lie.
_Landlord_—What a fool your son must be.
_Mrs. Kelly_—Don’t you call my son a fool, sir. God loved George
Washington because he would not lie, and made him the Liberator of his
country.
_Landlord_—That’s all gammon. Washington was an old Federalist, and an
old knave and fool, and could swear and lie as hard as a delinquent
tenant.
_Mrs. Kelly_ (throws the tea pot, full of scalding water, at his
head)—Take that, you miserable old tory and miser. (The landlord rushes
upon Mrs. Kelly, when Mr. Kelly, forgetting his rheumatic leg, flies at
him like a tiger, and while they grapple, and level their deadly blows,
with Mrs. Kelly pouring hot water down the neck and back of the
landlord—in comes John, and his young fireman friend, who both seize the
landlord, and hurl him down stairs, and kick him into the street, amid
the frantic yells of all the neighbors. John then introduces the young
New York Fireman to his father and mother, who receive him with courtesy
and fervor.)
(To be continued.)
------------------------------------
Fools.
Bennett and Hudson (through their influence with the wholesale news
dealers,) supposed they could check the circulation of the “ALLIGATOR,”
among the honest masses, who have been kicked and cuffed and sold by the
Bennett’s, and Greeley’s, and Raymond’s, since the immortal Pudding
Dinner of Benjamin Franklin, to the wicked aristocracy and tories of
Philadelphia, who threatened to crush Franklin’s bold and independent
Journal, but who got egregiously mistaken. Stop my “ALLIGATOR!” Eh? You
could as easily dam the thundering torrents of Niagara, that have
sublimely rolled into their rocky beds for unnumbered ages. Withhold my
“ALLIGATOR” from the glad embraces of the intelligent and industrial
classes! Eh? First strive to roll back the Father of Waters to its
sources in the mountain wilderness, or beat back the God of Day, or stop
the Revolutions of the Globe! Stop my “ALLIGATOR!” Eh? Fools, fools,
fools!
------------------------------------
I have received the first number of “_The Fact_,” whose editors are Wm.
B. Smith and D. A. Casserley. It is about the size of the “ALLIGATOR,”
and full of interesting matter. I hope it will be liberally patronised.
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Advertisements—25 Cents a line.
Credit—From two to four seconds, or as long as the Advertiser can hold
his breath! Letters and Advertisements to be left at No. 114 Nassau
street, second story, front room.
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NOTICE TO FARMERS AND MARKET GARDENERS.—CITY INSPECTOR’S DEPARTMENT, New
York, June 16, 1858.—In conformity with the following resolution, the
space therein mentioned will be permitted to be used as a place, by
farmers and gardeners, for the sale of vegetables and garden produce,
until the hour of 12 o’clock, M., daily—the use to be free of charge:
Resolved, That permission be, and is hereby, given to farmers and market
gardeners, to occupy daily, until 12 M., free of charge, the vacant
space of the northern and southern extremities of the intersection of
Broadway and Sixth avenue, between Thirty-second and Thirty-fifth
streets, without infringing upon the streets which the said space
intersects, for the purpose only of selling vegetables and market
produce, of their own farms or gardens, under the supervision of the
City Inspector.
Also, by resolution of the Common Council, The use of Gouverneur slip is
granted to farmers and gardeners for the sale of produce from wagons.
GEO. W. MORTON, City Inspector.
JOSEPH CANNING, Sup’t of Markets.
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NOTICE—TO PERSONS KEEPING SWINE, OWNERS OF PROPERTY WHERE THE SAME MAY
BE KEPT, AND ALL OTHERS INTERESTED. At a meeting of the Mayor and
Commissioners of Health, held at the City Hall of the City of New York,
Friday, June 18th, 1858, the following preamble and resolutions were
adopted:
Whereas, A large number of swine are kept in various portions of the
city; and whereas, it is the general practice of persons so keeping
swine, to boil offal and kitchen refuse and garbage, whereby a highly
offensive and dangerous nuisance is created, therefore, be it
Resolved, That this Board, of the Mayor and Commissioners of Health,
deeming swine kept south of (86th) street, in this city, to be creative
of a nuisance and detrimental to the public health, therefore, the City
Inspector be, and he is hereby, authorized and directed to take, seize,
and remove from any and all places and premises, all and every swine
found or kept on any premises in any place in the city of New York
southerly of said street, and to cause all such swine to be removed to
the Public Pound, or other suitable place beyond the limits of the city
or northerly of said street, and to cause all premises or places
wherein, or on which, said swine may have been so found or kept, to be
thoroughly cleaned and purified as the City Inspector shall deem
necessary to secure the preservation of the public health, and that all
expenses incurred thereby constitute a lien on the lot, lots or premises
from which said nuisance shall have been abated or removed.
Resolved, That the foregoing resolutions shall take effect from and
after the first day of July next, and that public notice be given of the
same by publication in the Corporation papers to that date, and that
notice may be given to persons keeping swine by circulars delivered on
the premises, and that all violations of this order be prosecuted by the
proper legal authorities, on complaint from the City Inspector or his
officers.
CITY INSPECTOR’S DEPARTMENT, }
New York, June 18, 1858. }
All persons keeping swine, or upon whose property or premises the same
may be kept, are hereby notified that the above resolutions will be
strictly enforced from and after the first day of July next.
GEO. W. MORTON, City Inspector.
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FRANCIS B. BALDWIN, WHOLESALE and RETAIL CLOTHING & FURNISHING
WAREHOUSE, 70 and 72 Bowery, between Canal and Hester sts., New York.
Large and elegant assortment of Youths’ and Boys’ Clothing.
F. B. BALDWIN,
J. G. BARNUM.
F. B. BALDWIN has just opened his New and Immense Establishment. THE
LARGEST IN THE CITY! An entire New Stock of GENTLEMEN’S, YOUTH’S and
CHILDREN’S CLOTHING, recently manufactured by the best workmen in the
city, is now opened for inspection. Also, a superior stock of FURNISHING
GOODS. All articles are of the Best Quality, and having been purchased
during the crisis, WILL BE SOLD VERY LOW! The Custom Department contains
the greatest variety of CLOTHS, CASSIMERES, and VESTINGS.
Mr. BALDWIN has associated with him Mr. J. G. BARNUM, who has had great
experience in the business, having been thirty years connected with the
leading Clothing Establishments of the city.
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THOMAS A. DUNN, 506 EIGHTH AVENUE, has a very choice assortment of
Wines, Brandies, Cordials, and Segars, which he will sell at prices that
will yield a fair profit. All my democratic friends, and my immediate
associates in the Boards of Aldermen and Councilmen are respectfully
invited to call in their rambles through Eighth Avenue, and enjoy a good
Havana segar, and nice, sparkling champagne, and very exhilerating
brandy. For the segars, I will charge my political friends and
associates only five pence each, and for the brandy only ten pence per
half gill, and for the champagne only four shillings a glass, or two
dollars a bottle.
So call, kind friends, and sing a glee,
And laugh and smoke and drink with me,
Sweet Sangaree
Till you can’t see:
(_Chorus_)—At your expense!
(Which pays my rents,)
For my fingers do you see
O’er my nose gyrating free?
THOMAS A. DUNN, No. 506 Eighth avenue.
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J. VAN TINE, SHANGAE RESTAURANT, No. 2, Dey street, New York.
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COREY AND SON, MERCHANT’S EXCHANGE, Wall street, New York.—Notaries
Public and Commissioners.—United State’s Passports issued in 36
hours,—Bills of Exchange, Drafts, and Notes protested,—Marine protests
noted and extended.
EDWIN F. COREY,
EDWIN F. COREY, JR.
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MRS. S. S. BIRD’S LADIES’ AND GENTLEMEN’S Dining and Oyster Saloons, No.
31 Canal street, near East Broadway, and 264 Division street, New York.
Oysters Pickled to Order.
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S. & J. W. BARKER, GENERAL AUCTIONEERS & REAL ESTATE BROKERS. Loans
negotiated, Houses and Stores Rented, Stocks and Bonds Sold at Auction
or Private Sale.
Also, FURNITURE SALES attended to at private houses. Office, 14 Pine
street, under Commonwealth Bank.
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CARLTON HOUSE, 496 BROADWAY, NEW York. Bates and Holden, Proprietors.
THEOPHILUS BATES.
OREL J. HOLDEN.
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TRIMMING MANUFACTURERS.—B. S. YATES & CO., 639 Broadway, New York.
Fringes, Cords, Tassels, Loops, Gimps,
and Gimp Bands.
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WM. COULTER, Carpenter.—I have long been engaged as a Carpenter, and I
assure all who will favor me with their patronage, that I will build as
good houses, or anything else in my line, as any other carpenter in the
city of New York. I will also be as reasonable in charges for my work as
any other person.
WILLIAM COULTER, Carpenter.
Rear of 216 East Twentieth street, New York.
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GERARD BETTS & CO., AUCTION AND Commission Merchants, No. 106, Wall
street, corner of Front street, New York.
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JAMES DONNELLY’S COAL YARD,—Twenty-sixth street and Second Avenue. I
always have all kinds of coal on hand, and of the very best quality,
which I will sell as low as any other coal dealer in the United States.