Many graphic tales have been told of the immense loads of plunder
carried off during the fighting in Dublin; but there has been looting on
a large scale elsewhere, if one may believe the headline of a
contemporary:--"Man arrested with Colt in his pocket at Bloomsbury."
***
Says a writer in The _Daily Chronicle_: "In one neighbourhood within the
Zeppelin zone there are hundreds of partridges who defy the Defence of
the Realm Act. Two or three hours before anyone else is aware that the
baby-killers are approaching these bold birds go chuckle, chuckle,
chuckle, as if there were an army of the more human sort of poachers
about." Personally we have always felt that the section of the Defence
of the Realm Act which forbids one to go chuckle, chuckle, chuckle, when
the Zeppelins are approaching is superfluous as well as in inferior
taste.
***
Dr. WALFORD DAVIS, in a lecture on "Songs for Home Singing," recently
told his hearers how Major Tom Bridges saved a couple of battalions at
the Front with two penny whistles. We feel bound to point out however
that any attempt to save the nation with the same exiguous weapons would
be too hazardous to be encouraged.
***
Owing to a lack of the necessary dyes there will soon be no more red
tape available for the War Office and elsewhere. It is to be hoped,
however, that the familiar and picturesque salutation with which staff
officers are in the habit of taking leave of one another, "So long, Old
Tape!" will not be allowed to become obsolete.
***
Attention has recently been drawn to the number of strapping boys who
are idling their time away in cinema houses in the absence of their
fathers at the Front. Their strapping fathers, of course.
***
According to the President of the Baptist Union, "you must hit a
Londoner at least six times before he smarts." We do not presume to
dispute this statement, but what we want to know is, how was the
Londoner occupied while the President of the Baptist Union was
conducting his extremely interesting experiment?
***
Owing to the scarcity of tonnage, Denmark shipowners have put into
commission two 18th-century sailing vessels. Meanwhile in the
neighbourhood of Mount Ararat there is, we learn, some talk of
organising an expedition for the recovery of the Ark with a view to her
utilisation in the cattle-carrying trade.
***
The Recorder of Pontefract states that in a recent walk he followed for
three miles three men who were smoking, and counted sixty-two matches
struck by them. It is reported that the gentlemen concerned have since
called upon the Recorder to explain that it was in a spirit of war
economy that they had dispensed with the services of the torch-bearer
who had hitherto attended their movements.
***
There will be no Bakers' Exhibition this year, it is announced. Many
_chic_ models however, both in _gáteaux_ and the new open-work
_confiserie_, will be privately exhibited.
***
A contributor to _The Observer_ draws our attention to the phenomenally
early return of the swifts. But after all there must be something
particularly soothing about England these days to a neurotic fowl like a
swift.
***
It is rumoured that Mr. BIRRELL has lately thrown off one of his _obiter
dicta_--to the effect that Mr. Asquith and his colleagues have expressed
an ambition to go down in the pages of history as the "Ministry of All
the Buried Talents."
***
It was a confirmed dyspeptic of our acquaintance who, on reading that in
Paris they are serving a half-mourning salad consisting mainly of sliced
potatoes, artichokes and pickled walnuts, expressed surprise at their
failure to add a few radishes to the dish, so that they might be
thoroughly miserable while they were about it.
***
According to a contemporary, Mr. H. B. IRVING'S _Cassius_ "came very
near to Shakespeare." A delightful change from the innumerable Cassii
that are modelled, for instance, on Mr. W. W. JACOBS.
***
Sir THOMAS LIPTON'S yacht, the _Erin_, has been sunk in the
Mediterranean, and no doubt the Germans think they have done something
to go bragh about.
***
Italians are being invited by means of circulars dropped from balloons
to desert to the Austrians, the sum of 5s. 8d. being offered to each
deserter. This is no doubt what is technically known as a _ballon
d'essai_.
***
The House of Commons is giving serious consideration to the Daylight
Saving Scheme. But certain occupants of the Treasury Bench (we are
careful not to "refer to" them as members of the Cabinet) are said to be
withholding their support till they know what it is that the surplus
daylight is to be let into.
* * * * *