_A Leaf from the Reminiscences of a Collegian_.
(_For the Mirror_.)
_Why_ she came to the university was best known to herself. I cannot
bring myself always to analyze the motives of people's actions; and if
Mrs. Welborn _really_ desired, in lieu of acting mamma to children she
did not possess, to play the part of gouvernante to a couple of wild,
uncouth lads, (her nephews,) during their residence in college, it speaks
much for her good nature, at all events. They were not, I believe,
grateful for the means she adopted to display this amiable trait in her
disposition, nor did people in general appreciate it as they surely ought
to have done. _Ill nature_--and there is often a frightful preponderance
of _that_ quality in a small town--did not hesitate to assert that the
widow Welborn's motive for pitching her tent amid scholastic shades was
_in toto_ a _selfish_ one; even that of a design, if she could but
accomplish it, of adding _another_ self to _self_. I dare not, in this
era of refinement, speak plainer, but will take for granted that I am
understood. The widow Welborn, or, as she was more commonly termed. "The
gay Widow" from certain gregarious propensities, resided with a couple of
female servants in a small house, situated in the most public street of
the town; which I know, for this reason,--the principal court of our
college was opposite to it, and its gateway was the approved lounge, from
morning till night, of the most idle and impudent amongst us. Various
were the surmises as to _who, what,_ and from _whence_ the gay widow was;
by many she was supposed to be immensely rich; and by a few, some lady of
quality _incog_. Many, however, asserted, that her jewels were glass; her
gold, tinsel, and her glittering ornaments, beads sewed upon pasteboard.
Nevertheless, in the very face of this shameful detraction, to her
delightful little soirées flocked the best families in the town, (there
were not many,) the heads of houses, (scarcely room had they in her
mansion for their bodies,) and many a, fellow, senior and junior, of many
a college in----. I had the honour of attending sometimes at these
parties, of which all that I remember at present is, that the sugar was
nipped into pieces so small, as to oblige those who liked their tea sweet
to put in two or three spoonsfull, instead of an equal _quantum_ of
lumps, to the astonishment and visible dismay of the waiters. There was
generally, too, a sad deficiency in cake; and, oh! when the negus was
handed round,----Well, perhaps her nephews drew largely upon her stock of
wine; or the widow possibly thought her young men got too much of that
commodity in _our_ parties, and therefore needed it less in her own. As
to the senior members of the university, I never could comprehend the
reasons that induced their endurance of such an aqueous beverage.
Sometimes I have attributed their visits to Mrs. Welborn's merely to a
ramification of that system of espionage which she thought proper to
employ upon her nephews, and they to extend indiscriminately towards
every undergraduate; whereas being myself a well-intentioned, modest
young man, mine own honour has seemed grievously insulted; but again, may
not _vanity_, the hope, paramount in the breast of every individual, of
being admired by "_a fortune_," have influenced these old gentlemen to
swallow lukewarm potations, (_minus_ wine, lemon, and sugar,) which were
a kind of nutmeg broth? I can certainly aver, that old Rightangle, of our
college, was, or pretended to be, desperately enamoured with the gay
widow; indeed, his doleful looks at one period, and his shyness of the
fair lady in question, were to me pretty evident proofs that he had made
her an offer, which had been _rejected_. The gossips of ---- had long set
it down as a match, but were, it seems, doomed to be disappointed of
their cake and wine. I honestly believe that the widow _hated_
Rightangle; and conscientiously declare, to the best of my knowledge,
that her antipathy towards my very excellent tutor arose from the
circumstance of his having a large red nose, and winning her money
whenever they played at the same card-table. Strange stories were afloat
respecting the _menage_ of Mrs. Welborn; my bed-maker affirmed, upon her
(?) honour and veracity, that a lady and gentleman, who had favoured her
with a visit, had quitted her residence thrice thinner than they were
when they entered it; and that a gentleman had hastily departed from the
shelter of her hospitable roof, upon her refusing him the indulgence of a
_Welsh rabbit_ at _breakfast!_ These, and similar tales, were promulgated
by the treacherous industry of the widow's maid-servants. Mrs. Welborn
was fond of claiming an intimate acquaintance with people of rank. I
never, however, met any titled person at her house. She was a kind of
living peerage, and an animated chronicle of the actions of the great,
virtuous and vicious: but, if the truth must be spoken,--and in a private
memoir, why conceal it?--she _had_ acquaintances of a grade far inferior!
I say not that _I_ saw it, because I was never accustomed to lounge at
our college gate; but the men that were most frequently there, _insist_
that they have many times beheld the gay widow steal forth in the dusk of
the evening, dressed as for a party, and have tracked her to the house of
a haberdasher in the vicinity! Well! she is married now, and is Mrs.
Welborn--the _gay widow_ no longer. How she accomplished this affair I
know not; it broke like a thunder-clap upon the ears of the good people
of--. Suddenly, the widow was gone--her house and furniture were
sold--_the_ happy event was announced in the papers--no cake was sent
out--so the gossips were disappointed; and as I have since learnt, that
the lady has _thrice_ undergone a separation from her husband, I imagine
that she must have been so likewise.