CIRCUMNAVIGATING A POPE.--Cardinal Maury did not allow you to advance
far. He was fond of telling anecdotes, but he loved to select his
subject and to choose his terms. Memory well managed can furnish a
tolerable share of the wit and spirit of conversation, and he was, in
this respect, the most capital manoeuvrer I ever met with. As he had
been absent from Paris for fourteen years he had a great deal to tell.
Every one, therefore, listened to his stories with pleasure--himself
among the first. Even at the dinner-table he permitted himself the
indulgence of a vast quantity of Spanish snuff, which he generally
shared with his neighbors, distributing a large portion on their
plates, which rather spoiled the pleasure of those who had the good
fortune to be seated next to him, as it once happened to me at Madame
du Roure's. While singing the praises of his beautiful villa at
Monte-Fiascone, he frequently drew from his pocket an enormous
snuff-box, the contents of which were most liberally showered down
upon the company placed near him, and, between two pinches, he
informed us that he had formerly the pretension of taking the very
best snuff in France. He prepared it with his own hands, and spared
no pains in the important proceeding. When he emigrated to Rome he
carried with him two jars of the precious mixture. The future destiny
of the Abbe Maury was dependent on the pope, and he was a great
snuff-taker! "I presented myself several times (I quote his own
expressions) before his holiness, and took great care never to omit
displaying my snuff-box, which I opened and shut several times during
the interview, making as loud a noise as possible. This was all I
dared do,--respect forbade me making any advances toward his holiness
by offering directly a taste of the mixture of which I was so justly
proud. At length my perseverance met with its reward. One day I
managed skillfully to push the snuff-box beneath his hand, and, in the
heat of argument, he opened it mechanically, and took a pinch of snuff
therefrom. It was an awful moment, as you may imagine. I observed him
with the greatest attention, and immediately remarked the expression
of satisfaction and surprise which overspread his features as he
stretched forth his fingers to take another pinch. "_Donde vi viene
questo maraviglioso tobacco?_" I told him that I alone possessed the
mixture, and that I had only two jars left, or rather that I had no
more, as, of course, they now belonged to his holiness. I am inclined
to believe that this present was agreeable to him, as it was useful to
me." After the story the cardinal boasted to us of the extraordinary
frankness of his character. He had shown more of this than he had
intended in the tale he had been telling.
--Souvenirs de France et d'Italie dans les Années 1830, 1831 et 1832.
* * * * *
The _Deutsche Reform_ publishes as a curiosity a selection, though an
imperfect one, from the catalogue of the flying leaves and small cheap
journals, political and satirical, that sprung into existence after
the revolution, mostly in Berlin and Vienna; not more than three or
four of them now exist. The insect world was a favorite source of
names for the satirist, the sting of whose production was frequently
only in the title: every week produced the _Hornet_, the _Wasp_, the
_Gadfly_, and their plurals, the _Wasps_ and the _Gadflies_; there
was also an _Imperial Gadfly_, and one _Wasp's Nest_. The necessity
of enlightenment exhausted the means of doing it through the _Torch_,
the _Taper_, the _Jet of Gas_, the _Lamp_, the _Everburning Lamp_ (the
last flickers still at uncertain intervals, the extinguisher of the
Berlin police coming down on it whenever it appears), the _Lantern_
and the _White Lamp_, the _Snuffers_ followed the list of lights, and
the whole category concluded in an _Egyptian Darkness_, to which most
of them have descended. The other titles are not so well classified:
there was a _Democratic Reasoner_, a _Shrieker_ (or _Shouter_), and
the _Berlin Widemouth_, the _Barricade Journal_, the _Street Journal_,
the _Cat's Music_, the _Red Cap_, the _Sansculottes_ (_Ohne-Hosen_),
the _Tower of Fools_, are miscellaneous: there was a variety of
devils--the _Travelling Devil_, the _Devil Untied_, the _Church
Devil_, the _Revolutionary Devil_. Some of the titles were cant words,
quite untranslatable, as _Kladderadatsch_ (the Berlin _Punch_, still
existing), the _Klitsch-Klatsch_, and the _Pumpernickel_ (a kind of
black bread); the three last were--_The Prussians Have Come_, the
_General Wash_, and the _Political Ass_. In the provincial towns
all the flying leaves were something for the people--_Volks-boten,
Volks-freunde, Volks-zeitung_--in a list that would be too long to
repeat.
* * * * *
TRUE PROGRESS.--The civilization of antiquity was the advancement
of the few and the slavery of the many--in Greece 30,000 freemen and
300,000 slaves--and it passed away. True civilization must be measured
by the progress, not of a class or nation, but of all men. God admits
none to advance alone. Individuals in advance become martyrs--nations
in advance the prey of the barbarian. Only as one family of man can
we progress. But man must exist as an animal before he can exist as a
man: his physical requirements must be satisfied before those of mind;
and hitherto it has taken the whole time and energies of the many to
provide for their physical wants. Such wants have spread mankind over
the whole globe--the brute and the savage have disappeared before the
superior race--the black blood of the torrid zone has been mixed with
the white of the temperate, and a superior race, capable of living
and laboring under a zenith sun, has been formed, and we seem to be
preparing for a united movement onward. The elements have been pressed
into our service, the powers of steam and electricity would appear
boundless, and science has given man an almost unlimited control over
nature. The trammels which despotisms have hitherto imposed on body
and mind have been thrown off, and constitutional liberty has rapidly
and widely spread. The steamship and railway, and mutual interests in
trade and commerce, have united nation to nation, and the press has
given one mind and simultaneous thoughts to the whole community. Power
there is in plenty for the emancipation of the whole race; since the
steam engine and machinery may be to the working-classes what they
have hitherto been to those classes above them. All that is wanted
is to know how to use these forces for the general good. The powers
of production are inexhaustible; we have but to _organize them_, and
justly to distribute the produce.--_Charles Bray_.
* * * * *
COFFEE AND THE SAVANS.--In a letter from Paris it is said: "Some of
our eminent scientific men are again squabbling on the vexed question
as to whether coffee does or does not afford nourishment. One of them
has laid down what seems a paradox, viz., that coffee contains fewer
nutritive properties than the ordinary food of man, and yet that the
man who makes it his principal food is stronger than one who feeds
on meat and wine. In support of this paradox, our _savant_ calls the
example of the miners of the coal-pits of Charleroi, who never eat
meat except a very small quantity on Sundays, and whose daily meals
consist exclusively of bread and butter and coffee. These men, he
says, are strong, muscular, and able to do, and actually perform, more
hard work than the miners of the coal-pits of Onzin, in France, who
feed largely on the more nutritive articles, meat and vegetables, and
drink wine or beer. Another _savant_, taking nearly the same views,
insists that the Arabs are able to live moderately, and to make long
abstinences, as they do, entirely on account of their extensive use
of coffee. But this last assertion is demolished, by the declaration
of M. d'Abbadie, who has just returned from Abyssinia, that certain
tribes of Arabs and Abyssinians who do _not_ use coffee can
support greater fatigue than those who do. In presence of such very
contradictory facts, who shall say which of the learned doctors is in
the right?"
* * * * *
A CURIOUS TRIO.--Mr. Dallas, when Secretary of the Treasury, says
Mr. Paulding, told me the following story, which he had from Mr.
Breck:--When the Duc de Liancourt was in Philadelphia, sometime after
the execution of Louis the Sixteenth, Mr. Breck called to see him
at his lodgings, in Strawberry-alley. Knocking at the door of a mean
looking house, a little ragged girl came out, who, on being asked for
the Duke, pointed to a door, which Mr. B. entered. At a little deal
table he found Cobbett, teaching the Duke and Monsieur Talleyrand
English!
* * * * *
BAD COOKERY A CAUSE OF DRUNKENKESS.--To what are we to ascribe the
prevalence of this detestable vice amongst us! Many causes might be
plausibly assigned for it, and one of them is our execrable cookery.
The demon of drunkenness inhabits the stomach. From that "vasty deep"
it calls for its appropriate offerings. But the demon may be appeased
by other agents than alcohol. A well-cooked, warmed, nutritious meal
allays the craving quite as effectually as a dram; but cold, crude,
indigestible viands, not only do not afford the required _solatium_ to
the rebellious organ, but they aggravate the evil, and add intensity
to the morbid avidity for stimulants. It is remarked that certain
classes are particularly obnoxious to drunkenness, such as sailors,
carriers, coachmen, and other wandering tribes whose ventral
insurrections are not periodically quelled by regular and comfortable
meals. Country doctors, for the same reason, not unfrequently manifest
a stronger predilection for their employers' bottles than their
patients do for theirs. In the absence of innocuous and benign
appliances, the deleterious are had recourse to exorcise the fiend
that is raging within them. These views are explicable by the laws
of physiology, but this is not the place for such disquisitions. One
reason why the temperance movement has been arrested in this country
is, that while one sensual gratification was withdrawn, another was
not provided. The intellectual excitements which were offered as a
substitute have not been found to answer the desired purpose. Our
temperance coffee-houses are singularly deficient in gastronomical
attractions; and the copious decoctions of coffee and chicory which
are there served up, with that nauseous accompaniment, buttered toast,
are more calculated to create a craving for stimulants than allay
it. The lower classes of Scotland are as deficient in knowledge of
cookery as the natives of the Sandwich Islands; and if our apostles of
temperance would employ a few clever cooks to go through the country
and teach the wives and daughters of the workingmen to dress meat
and vegetables, and make soups, and cheap and palatable farinaceous
messes, they would do more in one year to advance their cause, than
in twenty by means of long winded moral orations, graced with all
the flowers of oratory.--_Wilson on the Social Condition of France as
compared with that of England_.
* * * * *
THE MONKEY AND THE WATCH.--A distinguished lord, going from home, left
his watch hanging beside his bed. A tame monkey, who was in the habit
of imitating the actions of his master, took the watch, and with the
aid of a band, fastened it to his side. A moment afterward he drew
it forth and wound it. Then he looked at it, and said, "This goes too
fast." He opened it, put back the hand, and again adjusted it to his
side. A few moments passed, and he took it in his hand once more.
"Oh!" said the imitator, "now it goes too slow. What a trouble it is!
How can it be remedied?" He winds it again with the regulator; then
closes it, and applies it gracefully to the ear. "This movement is
wrong, still;" and he wound it with the key in another way. Then
bent to listen to it. "It does not go well, yet." He opened the case;
looked and examined every part; touched this wheel, stopped that,
moved another; in short, injured it so much by altering and shaking
it in his hand, that it at length ceased all motion. Guard us, O
propitious Heaven! from quacks that perform amongst men, as did the
monkey with the unfortunate watch.--_From the Italian_.
* * * * *
A SYRIAN CHRISTIAN AND PHILOSOPHER.--When supper was brought in Amu
Lyas, or Uncle Lyas, as Iskender always respectfully called him,
said a grace of twenty minutes before he sat down, and one of equal
duration after he got up. He was perpetually counting his beads and
uttering devout sayings--which partly accounted for his influence with
the priests. He and I agreed very well at the beginning, although in
our very first conversation he forced on a religious discussion, and
plainly told me to what place all heretics were irrevocably doomed.
On this and other occasions he strictly maintained that the earth is
stationary, that it is surrounded by the sea, that the moon rises and
sets, and that the stars are no bigger than they seem; and turned pale
with indignation at any contrary statements, which he asserted to be
direct attacks on the foundation of the Christian religion. Further
experience taught me that he was a very fair representative of
public opinion among a large class of Syrian Christians. He was an
ardent desirer of French domination, and entertained the most stupid
prejudices against the English. I generally found that the Levantines
preferred the French, whilst we are great favorites with the
Arabs.--_Two Years in a Levantine Family_.
* * * * *
THE BRITISH HIERARCHY.--The Eternal Anarch, with his old waggling
addle-head full of mere windy rumor, and his old insatiable paunch
full of mere hunger and indigestion tragically blended, and the
hissing discord of all the Four Elements persuasively pleading to
him;--he, set to choose, would be very apt to vote for such a set of
demigods to you.--_Carlyle's Latter-Day Pamphlets_.
* * * * *
[FROM BOHEMIAN POEMS, TRANSLATED BY A.H. WRAITSALL, M.A., JUST
PUBLISHED IN LONDON.]
Whither, oh, whither, now all things are over?
We to our journey and he to his home;
Eyes cannot pierce through the vail that must cover
Him whom we laid in the still silent tomb.
He hath but ended his journey before us,
We for a season are sojourning still
On the same earth with the same heaven o'er us,--
Turn we, oh, turn we, our tasks to fulfill!
Whither, oh, whither, now all things are ended?
We to our labor and he to his rest;
Let not the heart by its woe be offended,
Man seeks the pleasant, but God gives the best.
* * * * *