What is it, Mrs. Delane?
MRS. DELANE. [_Beckoning._] Come down here till I tell you.
MR. QUIRKE. I cannot do that. I'm not fully shaved.
MRS. DELANE. You'd come if you knew the news I have.
MR. QUIRKE. Tell it to me now. I'm not so supple as I was.
MRS. DELANE. Whisper now, have you an enemy in any place?
MR. QUIRKE. It's likely I may have. A man in business----
MRS. DELANE. I was thinking you had one.
MR. QUIRKE. Why would you think that at this time more than any other
time?
MRS. DELANE. If you could know what is in this envelope you would know
that, James Quirke.
MR. QUIRKE. Is that so? And what, now, is there in it?
MRS. DELANE. Who do you think now is it addressed to?
MR. QUIRKE. How would I know that, and I not seeing it?
MRS. DELANE. That is true. Well, it is a message from Dublin Castle to
the sergeant of police!
MR. QUIRKE. To Sergeant Carden, is it?
MRS. DELANE. It is. And it concerns yourself.
MR. QUIRKE. Myself, is it? What accusation can they be bringing against
me? I'm a peaceable man.
MRS. DELANE. Wait till you hear.
MR. QUIRKE. Maybe they think I was in that moonlighting case----
MRS. DELANE. That is not it----
MR. QUIRKE. I was not in it--I was but in the neighboring field--cutting
up a dead cow, that those never had a hand in----
MRS. DELANE. You're out of it----
MR. QUIRKE. They had their faces blackened. There is no man can say I
recognized them.
MRS. DELANE. That's not what they're saying----
MR. QUIRKE. I'll swear I did not hear their voices or know them if I did
hear them.
MRS. DELANE. I tell you it has nothing to do with that. It might be
better for you if it had.
MR. QUIRKE. What is it, so?
MRS. DELANE. It is an order to the sergeant, bidding him immediately to
seize all suspicious meat in your house. There is an officer coming
down. There are complaints from the Shannon Fort Barracks.
MR. QUIRKE. I'll engage it was that pork.
MRS. DELANE. What ailed it for them to find fault?
MR. QUIRKE. People are so hard to please nowadays, and I recommended
them to salt it.
MRS. DELANE. They had a right to have minded your advice.
MR. QUIRKE. There was nothing on that pig at all but that it went mad on
poor O'Grady that owned it.
MRS. DELANE. So I heard, and went killing all before it.
MR. QUIRKE. Sure it's only in the brain madness can be. I heard the
doctor saying that.
MRS. DELANE. He should know.
MR. QUIRKE. I give you my word I cut the head off it. I went to the loss
of it, throwing it to the eels in the river. If they had salted the
meat, as I advised them, what harm would it have done to any person on
earth?
MRS. DELANE. I hope no harm will come on poor Mrs. Quirke and the
family.
MR. QUIRKE. Maybe it wasn't that but some other thing----
MRS. DELANE. Here is Fardy. I must send the message to the sergeant.
Well, Mr. Quirke, I'm glad I had the time to give you a warning.
MR. QUIRKE. I'm obliged to you, indeed. You were always very
neighborly, Mrs. Delane. Don't be too quick now sending the message.
There is just one article I would like to put away out of the house
before the sergeant will come.
[_Enter_ FARDY.
MRS. DELANE. Here now, Fardy--that's not the way you're going to the
barracks. Any one would think you were scaring birds yet. Put on your
uniform.
[FARDY _goes into office_.
MRS. DELANE. You have this message to bring to the sergeant of police.
Get your cap now; it's under the counter.
[FARDY _reappears, and she gives him telegram_.
FARDY. I'll bring it to the station. It's there he was going.
MRS. DELANE. You will not, but to the barracks. It can wait for him
there.
[FARDY _goes off_. MR. QUIRKE _has appeared at door_.
MR. QUIRKE. It was indeed a very neighborly act, Mrs. Delane, and I'm
obliged to you. There is just _one_ article to put out of the way. The
sergeant may look about him then and welcome. It's well I cleared the
premises on yesterday. A consignment to Birmingham I sent. The Lord be
praised, isn't England a terrible country, with all it consumes?
MRS. DELANE. Indeed, you always treat the neighbors very decent, Mr.
Quirke, not asking them to buy from you.
MR. QUIRKE. Just one article. [_Turns to rack._] That sheep I brought in
last night. It was for a charity, indeed, I bought it from the widow
woman at Kiltartan Cross. Where would the poor make a profit out of
their dead meat without me? Where now is it? Well, now, I could have
swore that that sheep was hanging there on the rack when I went in----
MRS. DELANE. You must have put it in some other place.
MR. QUIRKE. [_Going in and searching and coming out._] I did not; there
is no other place for me to put it. Is it gone blind I am, or is it not
in it, it is?
MRS. DELANE. It's not there now, anyway.
MR. QUIRKE. Didn't you take notice of it there, yourself, this morning?
MRS. DELANE. I have it in my mind that I did; but it's not there now.
MR. QUIRKE. There was no one here could bring it away?
MRS. DELANE. Is it me, myself, you suspect of taking it, James Quirke?
MR. QUIRKE. Where is it at all? It is certain it was not of itself it
walked away. It was dead, and very dead, the time I bought it.
MRS. DELANE. I have a pleasant neighbor, indeed, that accuses me that I
took his sheep. I wonder, indeed, you to say a thing like that! I to
steal your sheep or your rack or anything that belongs to you or to your
trade! Thank you, James Quirke. I am much obliged to you, indeed.
MR. QUIRKE. Ah, be quiet, woman; be quiet----
MRS. DELANE. And let me tell you, James Quirke, that I would sooner
starve and see every one belonging to me starve than to eat the size of
a thimble of any joint that ever was on your rack or that ever will be
on it, whatever the soldiers may eat that have no other thing to get, or
the English, that devour all sorts, or the poor ravenous people that's
down by the sea!
[_She turns to go into shop._
MR. QUIRKE. [_Stopping her._] Don't be talking foolishness, woman. Who
said you took my meat? Give heed to me now. There must some other
message have come. The sergeant must have got some other message.
MRS. DELANE. [_Sulkily._] If there is any way for a message to come that
is quicker than to come by the wires, tell me what it is, and I'll be
obliged to you.
MR. QUIRKE. The sergeant was up here, making an excuse he was sticking
up that notice. What was he doing here, I ask you?
MRS. DELANE. How would I know what brought him?
MR. QUIRKE. It is what he did; he made as if to go away--he turned back
again and I shaving--he brought away the sheep--he will have it for
evidence against me----
MRS. DELANE. [_Interested._] That might be so.
MR. QUIRKE. I would sooner it to have been any other beast nearly ever I
had upon the rack.
MRS. DELANE. Is that so?
MR. QUIRKE. I bade the Widow Early to kill it a fortnight ago--but she
would not, she was that covetous!
MRS. DELANE. What was on it?
MR. QUIRKE. How would I know what was on it? Whatever was on it, it was
the will of God put it upon it--wasted it was, and shivering and
refusing its share.
MRS. DELANE. The poor thing.
MR. QUIRKE. Gone all to nothing--wore away like a flock of thread. It
did not weigh as much as a lamb of two months.
MRS. DELANE. It is likely the inspector will bring it to Dublin?
MR. QUIRKE. The ribs of it streaky with the dint of patent medicines----
MRS. DELANE. I wonder is it to the Petty Sessions you'll be brought or
is it to the Assizes?
MR. QUIRKE. I'll speak up to them. I'll make my defense. What can the
army expect at fippence a pound?
MRS. DELANE. It is likely there will be no bail allowed?
MR. QUIRKE. Would they be wanting me to give them good quality meat out
of my own pocket? Is it to encourage them to fight the poor Indians and
Africans they would have me? It's the Anti-Enlisting Societies should
pay the fine for me.
MRS. DELANE. It's not a fine will be put on you, I'm afraid. It's five
years in jail you will be apt to be getting. Well, I'll try and be a
good neighbor to poor Mrs. Quirke.
[MR. QUIRKE, _who has been stamping up and down, sits down and
weeps_. HALVEY _comes in and stands on one side_.
MR. QUIRKE. Hadn't I heart-scalding enough before, striving to rear five
weak children?
MRS. DELANE. I suppose they will be sent to the Industrial Schools?
MR. QUIRKE. My poor wife----
MRS. DELANE. I'm afraid the workhouse----
MR. QUIRKE. And she out in an ass-car at this minute, helping me to
follow my trade.
MRS. DELANE. I hope they will not arrest her along with you.
MR. QUIRKE. I'll give myself up to justice. I'll plead guilty! I'll be
recommended to mercy!
MRS. DELANE. It might be best for you.
MR. QUIRKE. Who would think so great a misfortune could come upon a
family through the bringing away of one sheep!
HYACINTH. [_Coming forward._] Let you make yourself easy.
MR. QUIRKE. Easy! It's easy to say let you make yourself easy.
HYACINTH. I can tell you where it is.
MR. QUIRKE. Where what is?
HYACINTH. The sheep you are fretting after.
MR. QUIRKE. What do you know about it?
HYACINTH. I know everything about it.
MR. QUIRKE. I suppose the sergeant told you?
HYACINTH. He told me nothing.
MR. QUIRKE. I suppose the whole town knows it, so?
HYACINTH. No one knows it, as yet.
MR. QUIRKE. And the sergeant didn't see it?
HYACINTH. No one saw it or brought it away but myself.
MR. QUIRKE. Where did you put it at all?
HYACINTH. In the ditch behind the church wall. In among the nettles it
is. Look at the way they have me stung. [_Holds out hands._
MR. QUIRKE. In the ditch! The best hiding-place in the town.
HYACINTH. I never thought it would bring such great trouble upon you.
You can't say, anyway, I did not tell you.
MR. QUIRKE. You, yourself, that brought it away and that hid it! I
suppose it was coming in the train you got information about the message
to the police.
HYACINTH. What now do you say to me?
MR. QUIRKE. Say! I say I am as glad to hear what you said as if it was
the Lord telling me I'd be in heaven this minute.
HYACINTH. What are you going to do to me?
MR. QUIRKE. Do, is it? [_Grasps his hand._] Any earthly thing you would
wish me to do, I will do it.
HYACINTH. I suppose you will tell----
MR. QUIRKE. Tell! It's I that will tell when all is quiet. It is I will
give you the good name through the town!
HYACINTH. I don't well understand.
MR. QUIRKE. [_Embracing him._] The man that preserved me!
HYACINTH. That preserved you?
MR. QUIRKE. That kept me from ruin!
HYACINTH. From ruin?
MR. QUIRKE. That saved me from disgrace!
HYACINTH. [_To_ MRS. DELANE.] What is he saying at all?
MR. QUIRKE. From the inspector!
HYACINTH. What is he talking about?
MR. QUIRKE. From the magistrates!
HYACINTH. He is making some mistake.
MR. QUIRKE. From the Winter Assizes!
HYACINTH. Is he out of his wits?
MR. QUIRKE. Five years in jail!
HYACINTH. Hasn't he the queer talk?
MR. QUIRKE. The loss of the contract!
HYACINTH. Are my own wits gone astray?
MR. QUIRKE. What way can I repay you?
HYACINTH. [_Shouting._] I tell you I took the sheep----
MR. QUIRKE. You did, God reward you!
HYACINTH. I stole away with it----
MR. QUIRKE. The blessing of the poor on you!
HYACINTH. I put it out of sight----
MR. QUIRKE. The blessing of my five children----
HYACINTH. I may as well say nothing----
MRS. DELANE. Let you be quiet now, Quirke. Here's the sergeant coming to
search the shop----
[SERGEANT _comes in_. QUIRKE _leaves go of_ HALVEY, _who arranges
his hat, etc._
SERGEANT. The department to blazes!
MRS. DELANE. What is it is putting you out?
SERGEANT. To go to the train to meet the lecturer, and there to get a
message through the guard that he was unavoidably detained in the South,
holding an inquest on the remains of a drake.
MRS. DELANE. The lecturer, is it?
SERGEANT. To be sure. What else would I be talking of? The lecturer has
failed me, and where am I to go looking for a person that I would think
fitting to take his place?
MRS. DELANE. And that's all? And you didn't get any message but the one?
SERGEANT. Is that all? I am surprised at you, Mrs. Delane. Isn't it
enough to upset a man, within three-quarters of an hour of the time of
the meeting? Where, I would ask you, am I to find a man that has
education enough and wit enough and character enough to put up speaking
on the platform on the minute?
MR. QUIRKE. [_Jumps up._] It is I, myself, will tell you that.
SERGEANT. You!
MR. QUIRKE. [_Slapping_ HALVEY _on the back_.] Look at here, Sergeant.
There is not one word was said in all those papers about this young man
before you but it is true. And there could be no good thing said of him
that would be too good for him.
SERGEANT. It might not be a bad idea.
MR. QUIRKE. Whatever the paper said about him, Sergeant, I can say more
again. It has come to my knowledge--by chance--that since he came to
this town that young man has saved a whole family from destruction.
SERGEANT. That is much to his credit--helping the rural classes----
MR. QUIRKE. A family and a long family, big and little, like sods of
turf--and they depending on a--on one that might be on his way to dark
trouble at this minute if it was not for his assistance. Believe me, he
is the most sensible man, and the wittiest, and the kindest, and the
best helper of the poor that ever stood before you in this square. Is
not that so, Mrs. Delane?
MRS. DELANE. It is true, indeed. Where he gets his wisdom and his wit
and his information from I don't know, unless it might be that he is
gifted from above.
SERGEANT.. Well, Mrs. Delane, I think we have settled that question. Mr.
Halvey, you will be the speaker at the meeting. The lecturer sent these
notes--you can lengthen them into a speech. You can call to the people
of Cloon to stand out, to begin the building of their character. I saw a
lecturer do it one time at Dundrum. "Come up here," he said; "Dare to be
a Daniel," he said----
HYACINTH. I can't--I won't----
SERGEANT. [_Looking at papers and thrusting them into his hand._] You
will find it quite easy. I will conduct you to the platform--these
papers before you and a glass of water--that's settled. [_Turns to go._]
Follow me on to the court-house in half an hour--I must go to the
barracks first--I heard there was a telegram--[_Calls back as he goes._]
Don't be late, Mrs. Delane. Mind, Quirke, you promised to come.
MRS. DELANE. Well, it's time for me to make an end of settling
myself--and, indeed, Mr. Quirke, you'd best do the same.
MR. QUIRKE. [_Rubbing his cheek._] I suppose so. I had best keep on good
terms with him for the present. [_Turns._] Well, now, I had a great
escape this day.
[_Both go in as_ FARDY _reappears, whistling_.
HYACINTH. [_Sitting down._] I don't know in the world what has come upon
the world that the half of the people of it should be cracked!
FARDY. Weren't you found out yet?
HYACINTH. Found out, is it? I don't know what you mean by being found
out.
FARDY. Didn't he miss the sheep?
HYACINTH. He did, and I told him it was I took it--and what happened I
declare to goodness I don't know--Will you look at these? [_Holds out
notes._
FARDY. Papers! Are they more testimonials?
HYACINTH. They are what is worse. [_Gives a hoarse laugh._] Will you
come and see me on the platform--these in my hand--and I
speaking--giving out advice. [FARDY _whistles_.] Why didn't you tell me,
the time you advised me to steal a sheep, that in this town it would
qualify a man to go preaching, and the priest in the chair looking on?
FARDY. The time I took a few apples that had fallen off a stall, they
did not ask me to hold a meeting. They welted me well.
HYACINTH. [_Looking round._] I would take apples if I could see them. I
wish I had broke my neck before I left Carrow, and I'd be better off! I
wish I had got six months the time I was caught setting snares--I wish I
had robbed a church.
FARDY. Would a Protestant church do?
HYACINTH. I suppose it wouldn't be so great a sin.
FARDY. It's likely the sergeant would think worse of it. Anyway, if you
want to rob one, it's the Protestant church is the handiest.
HYACINTH. [_Getting up._] Show me what way to do it?
FARDY. [_Pointing._] I was going around it a few minutes ago, to see
might there be e'er a dog scenting the sheep, and I noticed the window
being out.
HYACINTH. Out, out and out?
FARDY. It was, where they are putting colored glass in it for the
distiller----
HYACINTH. What good does that do me?
FARDY. Every good. You could go in by that window if you had some person
to give you a hoist. Whatever riches there is to get in it then, you'll
get them.
HYACINTH. I don't want riches. I'll give you all I will find if you will
come and hoist me.
FARDY. Here is Miss Joyce coming to bring you to your lodging. Sure I
brought your bag to it, the time you were away with the sheep----
HYACINTH. Run! Run!
[_They go off._ _Enter_ MISS JOYCE.
MISS JOYCE. Are you here, Mrs. Delane? Where, can you tell me, is Mr.
Halvey?
MRS. DELANE. [_Coming out dressed._] It's likely he is gone on to the
court-house. Did you hear he is to be in the chair and to make an
address to the meeting?
MISS JOYCE. He is getting on fast. His reverence says he will be a good
help in the parish. Who would think, now, there would be such a godly
young man in a little place like Carrow!
[_Enter_ SERGEANT _in a hurry, with telegram_.
SERGEANT. What time did this telegram arrive, Mrs. Delane?
MRS. DELANE. I couldn't be rightly sure, Sergeant. But sure it's marked
on it, unless the clock I have is gone wrong.
SERGEANT. It is marked on it. And I have the time I got it marked on my
own watch.
MRS. DELANE. Well, now, I wonder none of the police would have followed
you with it from the barracks--and they with so little to do----
SERGEANT. [_Looking in at_ QUIRKE'S _shop_.] Well, I am sorry to do what
I have to do, but duty is duty.
[_He ransacks shop._ MRS. DELANE _looks on_. MR. QUIRKE _puts his
head out of window_.
MR. QUIRKE. What is that going on inside? [_No answer._] Is there any
one inside, I ask? [_No answer._] It must be that dog of Tannian's--wait
till I get at him.
MRS. DELANE. It is Sergeant Carden, Mr. Quirke. He would seem to be
looking for something----
[MR. QUIRKE _appears in shop_. SERGEANT _comes out, makes another
dive, taking up sacks, etc._
MR. QUIRKE. I'm greatly afraid I am just out of meat, Sergeant--and I'm
sorry now to disoblige you, and you not being in the habit of dealing
with me----
SERGEANT. I should think not, indeed.
MR. QUIRKE. Looking for a tender little bit of lamb, I suppose you are,
for Mrs. Carden and the youngsters?
SERGEANT. I am not.
MR. QUIRKE. If I had it now, I'd be proud to offer it to you, and make
no charge. I'll be killing a good kid to-morrow. Mrs Carden might fancy
a bit of it----
SERGEANT. I have had orders to search your establishment for unwholesome
meat, and I am come here to do it.
MR. QUIRKE. [_Sitting down with a smile._] Is that so? Well, isn't it a
wonder the schemers does be in the world.
SERGEANT. It is not the first time there have been complaints.
MR. QUIRKE. I suppose not. Well, it is on their own head it will fall at
the last!
SERGEANT. I have found nothing so far.
MR. QUIRKE. I suppose not, indeed. What is there you could find, and it
not in it?
SERGEANT. Have you no meat at all upon the premises?
MR. QUIRKE. I have, indeed, a nice barrel of bacon.
SERGEANT. What way did it die?
MR. QUIRKE. It would be hard for me to say that. American it is. How
would I know what way they do be killing the pigs out there? Machinery,
I suppose, they have--steam-hammers----
SERGEANT. Is there nothing else here at all?
MR. QUIRKE. I give you my word, there is no meat, living or dead, in
this place, but yourself and myself and that bird above in the cage.
SERGEANT. Well, I must tell the inspector I could find nothing. But mind
yourself for the future.
MR. QUIRKE. Thank you, Sergeant. I will do that.
[_Enter_ FARDY. _He stops short._
SERGEANT. It was you delayed that message to me, I suppose? You'd best
mend your ways or I'll have something to say to you. [_Seizes and shakes
him._
FARDY. That's the way every one does be faulting me. [_Whimpers._
[_The_ SERGEANT _gives him another shake. A half-crown falls out of
his pocket._
MISS JOYCE. [_Picking it up._] A half-a-crown! Where, now, did you get
that much, Fardy?
FARDY. Where did I get it, is it?
MISS JOYCE. I'll engage it was in no honest way you got it.
FARDY. I picked it up in the street----
MISS JOYCE. If you did, why didn't you bring it to the sergeant or to
his reverence?
MRS. DELANE. And some poor person, maybe, being at the loss of it.
MISS JOYCE. I'd best bring it to his reverence. Come with me, Fardy,
till he will question you about it.
FARDY. It was not altogether in the street I found it----
MISS JOYCE. There, now! I knew you got it in no good way! Tell me, now.
FARDY. It was playing pitch and toss I won it----
MISS JOYCE. And who would play for half-crowns with the like of you,
Fardy Farrell? Who was it, now?
FARDY. It was--a stranger----
MISS JOYCE. Do you hear that? A stranger! Did you see e'er a stranger in
this town, Mrs. Delane, or Sergeant Carden, or Mr. Quirke?
MR. QUIRKE. Not a one.
SERGEANT. There was no stranger here.
MRS. DELANE. There could not be one here without me knowing it.
FARDY. I tell you there was.
MISS JOYCE. Come on, then, and tell who was he to his reverence.
SERGEANT. [_Taking other arm._] Or to the bench.
FARDY. I did get it, I tell you, from a stranger.
SERGEANT. Where is he, so?
FARDY. He's in some place--not far away.
SERGEANT. Bring me to him.
FARDY. He'll be coming here.
SERGEANT. Tell me the truth and it will be better for you.
FARDY. [_Weeping._] Let me go and I will.
SERGEANT. [_Letting go._] Now--who did you get it from?
FARDY. From that young chap came to-day, Mr. Halvey.
ALL. Mr. Halvey!
MR. QUIRKE. [_Indignantly._] What are you saying, you young ruffian,
you? Hyacinth Halvey to be playing pitch and toss with the like of you!
FARDY. I didn't say that.
MISS JOYCE. You did say it. You said it now.
MR. QUIRKE. Hyacinth Halvey! The best man that ever came into this town!
MISS JOYCE. Well, what lies he has!
MR. QUIRKE. It's my belief the half-crown is a bad one. Maybe it's to
pass it off it was given to him. There were tinkers in the town at the
time of the fair. Give it here to me. [_Bites it._] No, indeed, it's
sound enough. Here, Sergeant, it's best for you take it. [_Gives it to_
SERGEANT, _who examines it_.
SERGEANT. Can it be? Can it be what I think it to be?
MR. QUIRKE. What is it? What do you take it to be?
SERGEANT. It is, it is. I know it, I know this half-crown----
MR. QUIRKE. That is a queer thing, now.
SERGEANT. I know it well. I have been handling it in the church for the
last twelvemonth----
MR. QUIRKE. Is that so?
SERGEANT. It is the nest-egg half-crown we hand round in the
collection-plate every Sunday morning. I know it by the dint on the
Queen's temples and the crooked scratch under her nose.
MR. QUIRKE. [_Examining it._] So there is, too.
SERGEANT. This is a bad business. It has been stolen from the church.
ALL. Oh! Oh! Oh!
SERGEANT. [_Seizing_ FARDY.] You have robbed the church!
FARDY. [_Terrified._] I tell you I never did!
SERGEANT. I have the proof of it.
FARDY. Say what you like! I never put a foot in it!
SERGEANT. How did you get this, so?
MISS JOYCE. I suppose from the _stranger_?
MRS. DELANE. I suppose it was Hyacinth Halvey gave it to you, now?
FARDY. It was so.
SERGEANT. I suppose it was he robbed the church?
FARDY. [_Sobs._] You will not believe me if I say it.
MR. QUIRKE. Oh! the young vagabond! Let me get at him!
MRS. DELANE. Here he is himself now!
[HYACINTH _comes in_. FARDY _releases himself and creeps behind him_.
MRS. DELANE. It is time you to come, Mr. Halvey, and shut the mouth of
this young schemer.
MISS JOYCE. I would like you to hear what he says of you, Mr. Halvey.
Pitch and toss, he says.
MR. QUIRKE. Robbery, he says.
MRS. DELANE. Robbery of a church.
SERGEANT. He has had a bad name long enough. Let him go to a reformatory
now.
FARDY. [_Clinging to_ HYACINTH.] Save me, save me! I'm a poor boy trying
to knock out a way of living; I'll be destroyed if I go to a
reformatory. [_Kneels and clings to_ HYACINTH'S _knees_.
HYACINTH. I'll save you easy enough.
FARDY. Don't let me be jailed!
HYACINTH. I am going to tell them.
FARDY. I'm a poor orphan----
HYACINTH. Will you let me speak?
FARDY. I'll get no more chance in the world----
HYACINTH. Sure I'm trying to free you----
FARDY. It will be tasked to me always.
HYACINTH. Be quiet, can't you?
FARDY. Don't you desert me!
HYACINTH. Will you be silent?
FARDY. Take it on yourself.
HYACINTH. I will if you'll let me.
FARDY. Tell them you did it.
HYACINTH. I am going to do that.
FARDY. Tell them it was you got in at the window.
HYACINTH. I will! I will!
FARDY. Say it was you robbed the box.