"I want a billiard cue," I said; "one I can travel with
comfortably--that folds up, or telescopes, or does something of that
kind, you know."
"Yes, Sir," said the salesman. "This style of cue with a secret joint
would probably suit you. It unscrews in the middle, is handy to carry,
and absolutely reliable when fitted together."
"And now about a case?"
"Yes, Sir. Do you want a case for the secret-jointed cue only, or a case
for your whole kit?"
"My whole kit?"
"Your complete set of cues, Sir."
"Never heard of such a thing."
"I assure you, Sir, that all the best people go in for sets--just as
with golf, Sir. This is a complete set; the whole, including the case,
for ten guineas." And he showed me a long green-lined mahogany box
containing foreign-looking cues (in addition to a secret-jointed one)
packed as carefully as a set of drawing instruments.
"Would you mind explaining this mystery box to me?" I asked.
"Certainly, Sir," said the obliging young man. "This set of cues has
been designed for the billiard player who spends his summer on the golf
links and comes back in the autumn to billiards with the golf-habit
highly developed. That is, the habit acquired on the links of using
different clubs for the various shots. Now this cue--"
"Oh, that, of course, is an ordinary cue," I interrupted. "Never mind
that one; introduce me to the others."
"Pardon me, Sir, it only _looks_ like an ordinary cue. A steel tube has
been inserted down its interior--"
"Do I understand that billiard cues have also taken to hunger-striking?"
The shopman forced a polite but cheerless smile and continued, "This
makes the cue perfectly rigid and inflexible--"
"It has the same effect on the hunger-strikers, I am told."
"--and eminently suitable for its special purpose. We call it the
'Driver' cue--for driving off from baulk and for follow-throughs,
forcing strokes and all-round cannons."
"Ah, and what is the hammer-headed instrument for? It looks more like a
club than a cue."
"Yes, Sir. There is nothing in the rules to prevent the use of a club.
If I may point it out to you, Sir, there is here a special appeal to the
ladies, who are now coming into the game in ever increasing numbers. Up
to the present time most lady players have failed completely to bring
off a successful masse shot; but with the 'Hammer' cue used as a
club--over the shoulder (_so_)--"
"I see! You play it with a downward smashing blow, eh? An appeal to the
militant billiardette?"
"Precisely, Sir."
"And what is this for?" I pulled out of the case a cue with the point
flattened on one side, as if some one had begun to sharpen it like a
pencil and left off after the first big slash.
"That is called the 'Jumper,'" explained the young man, "and may be
roughly likened to the niblick in golf. Playing it with the flat side of
the point lying on the table (_so_) you can lift or jump a ball over any
obstacle, such as a cut in the cloth, or ash accidentally dropped from
your opponent's cigar. In Snooker it is a _sine qua non_.
"Here, again, is what we call the 'Potter'; it is telescopic. One hand
only is required when using the 'Potter.' You take aim as with a pistol,
the inner tube or cue being projected against the ball by means of
concealed springs which are worked by this trigger in the butt. The
sights are adjustable for long or short shots."
"And this fellow with the open nozzle?"
"That is our 'Patent Vacuum' cue, Sir, for screw-back shots. By means of
this miniature bellows in the butt a jet of air is pumped upon the ball,
through the open nozzle or tip, at whatever velocity is desired. When
the striking ball has made contact with the object ball, suction is
immediately produced by releasing this fan, which you may see just
inside the nozzle."
"By Jove!" I said, "I must have one of those. No, I won't take the whole
set; I can't afford a caddie to go round a billiard room with me."
"Thank you, Sir," returned the shopman. "Perhaps you might consider our
latest marking-board for your own room--our Cinema-Board. For the slate
in the centre we have substituted revolving illuminated films showing
the leading players at work. Information and instruction hand-in-hand
with pleasure. When you go to the board to register the score you often
get a hint from the moving picture.... No, Sir? Have you seen our
musical pockets? Quite the latest New Year billiard novelty. When the
ball drops into the net the weight presses on this stop, which releases
a musical phrase from a musical-box under the table. We have some
delightful rag-time effects for Pool.... Not to-day, Sir? Thank you,
Sir. The 'Vacuum Patent' and the secret-jointed cue shall be delivered
this afternoon. Good day, Sir."
* * * * *