(EXTRACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P.)
_House of Commons, Monday, March 2._--In speech of flawless lucidity
displaying perfect command of columnar figures upon which strength of
British Navy is based, the WINSOME WINSTON moved Supplementary Estimates
amounting to two and a-half millions. These raise total expenditure of year
on the Navy to forty-eight millions. "A serious event," he admitted amid
sympathetic cheers from below Gangway to his right. Necessity arises from
increased expenditure on oil reserves; from demand for a quarter of a
million for the new aircraft programme, an item unknown to OLD MORALITY or
CHILDERS when successively at the Admiralty; from increment of wages and
acceleration of ship-building.
He might have mentioned that of grand total close upon two millions is
legacy left by former Ministry on account of liabilities incurred before
1905. Whilst present Government, austerely-minded, pay their way as they
go, meeting increased expenditure out of revenue, PRINCE ARTHUR, with
characteristically light heart, built ships and strengthened
fortifications, raising the money by loan, which he gaily left to posterity
to pay off. Posterity has this pleasant task in hand now, and will continue
to be engaged upon it for next twenty years.
WINSTON judiciously refrained from pressing the point. Had enough on his
hands with discontented supporters below Gangway, who resent
ever-increasing burden of Naval expenditure. RAMSAY MACDONALD lodged
protest on behalf of Labour Members; stopped short of moving reduction of
vote. This done by DAVID MASON of Coventry.
"A hollow demonstration," was GILBERT PARKER'S terse description of the
revolt. On a division Estimates were carried by a majority of 203. Only 34
voted for reduction.
Prolongation of debate plainly boring. By exception, one listener sat it
out with unwearied attention. Nothing precisely cherubic in face or figure
of Lord FISHER OF KILVERSTONE, better known on sea and land by the
affectionate diminutive JACKY FISHER. Nevertheless, as he sat perched in
Peers' Gallery immediately over the clock, a place ever associated with the
genial presence of EDWARD PRINCE OF WALES, there flashed across the mind a
familiar couplet sung by DIBDIN:--
"There's a sweet little cherub that sits up aloft
To keep watch for the life of poor Jack."
[Illustration: JACK'S JACK.
(Lord FISHER).]
Whilst jealous for maintenance of Naval power, no Admiral or Sea Lord did
more to improve conditions of life on the lower deck than did JACKY FISHER.
Retired from active service, his multiform commissions under hatches,
to-night his body has gone aloft to a seat in Peers' Gallery. There he
heard expounded biggest Navy vote submitted since days of the "Great
Harry." Exceptionally swollen by provision for reserves of oil fuel, a new
departure, for which he in his capacity as Chairman of a Royal Commission
has, as WINSTON testified, been chiefly responsible.
_Business done._--Naval Estimates discussed.
_Tuesday._--Another scene testifying to electricity of atmosphere. As
usual, explosion from unexpected quarter. House in committee on Naval
Estimates. Lord ROBERT CECIL, ever alert in interests of working-man with a
vote, moved reduction in order to call attention to housing accommodation
provided for men employed at Rosyth. Chairman ruled debate out of order on
Supplementary Estimates. Lord BOB nevertheless managed to sum up purport of
intended speech by denouncing state of things as "a scandal and disgrace to
the Government." At this stage Opposition Whips, counting heads, discovered
that, if not at the moment in actual minority, Government would, if
division were rushed, find themselves in parlous state. The word--it was
"Mum"--went round Opposition benches.
Unfortunately for success of plot Ministerial Whips also alive to
situation.
"After your ruling, Sir," said Lord BOB with ominous politeness, "I cannot
develop my argument, but I propose to persist in my motion, and will divide
the Committee."
Not if LEIF JONES knew it. For him, as for all good Ministerialists,
subject suddenly developed interest, urgently demanded consideration. This
he proposed to bestow upon it. A Bengal tiger about to lunch off a
toothsome native, discovering the anticipated meal withdrawn from his
reach, could not be more sublimely wrathful than were gentlemen on
Opposition benches. And LEIF JONES, too! The mildest-mannered man that ever
turned on a water-tap.
After a moment of petrified pause, natural to Bengal tiger on discovering
reality of his discomfiture, there burst forth roar of "'Vide! 'Vide!
'Vide!" From appearance of LEIF JONES'S lips, he was continuing his
remarks. Not a syllable rose above the storm. After it had raged for some
moments CHAIRMAN pointed out that, whilst divigation in direction of Rosyth
was out of order, it was competent to any Member to discuss the vote as a
whole.
This too much for A. S. WILSON, who has been surprisingly reticent since
Session opened.
"Is it right for the CHAIRMAN," he asked, "to protect the Government from
what may be an inconvenient position?"
"A grossly disorderly observation," the CHAIRMAN retorted.
A. S. withdrew the remark, the more willingly since designed effect gained.
COUSIN HUGH, for some time moving uneasily in corner seat below Gangway,
bounded to his feet. Member near him simultaneously rose. With sweep of
left arm, after manner of RICHARD III. directing the cutting off of the
head of BUCKINGHAM, he waved the appalled Member down. Was getting on
nicely with what he had to say when, like GRAND CROSS on historical
occasion, he "heard a smile."
It came from WINSTON.
"I notice," said COUSIN HUGH glaring on the Treasury bench, "that the FIRST
LORD OF THE ADMIRALTY, who is very ignorant on many matters, is amused at
this observation."
WINSTON explained that what he had laughed at was "the lordly gesture with
which the noble Lord swept away another honourable gentleman."
LEIF JONES, proposing to continue his remarks, presented himself again.
Greeted with fresh yell of execration. Battled for some moments with the
storm. Too much for him. Reached forth hand; seized imperceptible tankard
of invisible stout; gratefully wetted his parched lips withal. Refreshed,
he tried again; no articulate word dominated the din.
After further ten minutes of uproar, through which from time to time A. S.
WILSON tried to get in more or less relevant remark and was instantly
extinguished by the CHAIRMAN, who masterfully managed difficult situation,
WINSTON interposed. A bird of the air had brought news from Whips' Room
that all was well. Accordingly the FIRST LORD graciously conceded division
clamoured for.
Its result profound surprise. So far from Government lacking support, the
amendment was negatived by more than two to one. Majority rushed up to 140.
Evidently been a mistake somewhere.
_Business done._--Supplementary votes agreed to.
_Thursday._--Dramatic turn in position of Home Rule Bill. PREMIER hitherto
steadfast in deferring Second Reading till close of financial year. As
result of confabulation between two Front Benches arranged that
Supplementary Estimates shall be hurried up so as to make opening for
immediate debate on Second Reading.
Accordingly ST. AUGUSTINE BIRRELL to-day brought in Bill for First Reading.
No need of persuasion of silver tongue to carry this stage. Proceeding
purely formal. Fight opens on Monday, when PREMIER, moving Second Reading,
will explain his "suggestions" of amendment.
_Business done._--Home Rule brought in, being third time of asking. Welsh
Church Disestablishment Bill and Plural Voting Bill also read amid
vociferous cheering by Ministerialists.
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[Illustration: "I understand you have only one Welsh saint. Well, there'll
soon be another; it will be Saint Lloyd George. I would canonise him right
away."--_The Rev. Dr. CLIFFORD at Westbourne Park Chapel._]
* * * * *
"His brilliant flashes of wit and humour evoked hearty applause, and
sometimes even laughter."--_Teesdale Mercury._
Almost the last thing you would have expected.
* * * * *
"One of the strongest traits in Mrs. Barclay's character is a love of
all creatures, great and small--thrushes, wagtails and robins come to
her when she calls, and she keeps a little box of worms to feed
them."--_Woman at Home._
Sometimes the worms must wish she wasn't quite so loving.
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