A contemporary describes one of the deported Nine as the Brain of the
party. This is a distinction which just eluded Mr. BAIN.
* * *
The Admiralty has decided that, in the place of the grand manoeuvres this
year, there shall be a surprise mobilisation. Last year's manoeuvres were,
we believe, something of a fiasco, but to ensure the success of the
surprise mobilisation five months' previous notice is given.
* * *
"Every man," says the Bishop of LONDON, "must be his own Columbus and find
the continent of truth." This is the first time that we had heard America
called the continent of truth, and one wonders where the present fashion of
flattery is going to end.
* * *
We read that a Russian writer named LUNATCHARSKY has been expelled from
Germany. Is it possible that he is a relative of Mr. MAX BEERBOHM'S friend
Kolniyatchi?
* * *
At the Grand Military Meeting at Sandown Park, two young millionaires
figured as amateur jockeys. We understand now the meaning of the expression
"putting money on a horse."
* * *
"Futurist frocks," we are told, were a feature of the Chelsea Arts Club
ball. Just as in these days "Fancy Dress" often seems to mean that the
dress is left to the fancy, Futurist frocks, we presume, are frocks that
may appear in the future.
* * *
An American journalist has been pointing out how London lags behind other
great cities in the matter of shop-window dressing. There would seem to be
no limit to our decadence. Even our shop-windows are inadequately clothed.
* * *
A meeting has been held at Kingston to consider the possibility of
providing "some counter attraction" for the young people who frequent the
streets on Sunday evenings. Seeing that most of them are at the counter
during the week--you catch the idea?
* * *
"Monkey nuts are dangerous," said Dr. ROUND at an inquest last week.
Judging by the mild-looking specimens one sees walking about in the streets
appearances are certainly deceptive.
* * *
A contemporary, by the way, propounds the question: Why does the "nut"
always wear his headgear on the back of his head? This custom is certainly
queer, for, if he really cared about his personal appearance, he would wear
the hat over his face.
* * *
We regret to learn that an attempt to teach a modern Office Boy manners has
failed. A friend of ours met his Office Boy in the street, and the lad
merely nodded to him. To shame him the Master raised his hat with mock
solemnity, at which the lad said, "That's all right, but you needn't do
it."
* * *
The fashion, which originated on the Continent, of having the face and neck
painted with miniature works of art is reported to be spreading to London.
And the practical Americans are said to be considering a further
development in the form of advertisements on the face by means of neat
inscriptions, such as "Complexion by Rouge et Cie," "Teeth by Max Gumberg,"
and "Dimples excavated by the American Face Mining Co."
* * *
"England," says General CARRANZA, "is the world's bully." The General must
please have patience with us, for there are signs that we are improving. In
the same issue of the evening paper which reported this dictum of his the
following announcement appeared under the heading "LATEST NEWS":--"There
were no bullion operations reported at the Bank of England to-day."
* * * * *
[Illustration: _Curate_ (_forte_). "... TO HAVE-AND-TO-HOLD."
_Bridegroom_ (_deaf_). "EH?"
_Curate_ (_fortissimo_). "TO--HAVE--AND--TO--HOLD."
_Bridegroom._ "TO 'AVE AND TO 'OLD."
_Curate._ "FROM--THIS--DAY--FORWARD."
_Bridegroom._ "TILL THIS DAY FORTNIGHT!"]
* * * * *