[Illustration]
_Antwerp_--if you are not tired of Exhibitions.
_Boulogne_--if you don't mind the mud of the port.
_Cologne_--if you are not particular about the comfort of your nose.
_Dieppe_--if you like bathing in the foreign fashion.
_Etretat_--if solitude has commanding charms.
_Florence_--if you are partial to 100° in the shade.
_Genoa_--if you have no objection to mosquitoes.
_Heidelberg_--if you are not tired of the everlasting castle.
_Interlaken_--if the Jungfrau has the advantage of novelty.
_Java_--if you wish to eat its jelly on the spot.
_Kandahar_--if you are not afraid of Afghan treachery.
_Lyons_--if you are fond of riots and _émeutes_.
_Marseilles_--if you are determined to do the Château D'If.
_Naples_--if you are anxious to perform an _ante mortem_ duty.
_Ouchy_--if you like it better than Lausanne.
_Paris_--if you have not been there for at least a fortnight.
_Quebec_--if you are qualifying for admission to a lunatic asylum.
_Rome_--if you have never had the local fever and want to try it.
_Strasbourg_--if you are hard up for an appropriate destination.
_Turin_--if it is the only town you have not seen in Italy.
_Uig_--if you affect the Isle of Skye in a thunderstorm.
_Venice_--if you scorn stings and evil odours.
_Wiesbaden_--if you can enjoy scenery minus gambling.
_Yokohama_--if you are willing to risk assault and battery.
_Zurich_--if you can think of no other place to visit.
N.B.--The above places are where to go on the keep-moving-tourist
plan. But when you want to know "Where to stay,"--we reply, "At Home."
[Illustration: THE "MERRY SWISS BOY"]