Here upon our middle page,
Where the correspondents rage,
Grim and dour and dry,
Here with counsel bold and sage
War on lollipops we wage,
Smiting hip and thigh.
"Pare potatoes very thin;
All the virtue's in the skin;
Save the peel for soups;
Drop cigars; abandon gin;
Leave the bristles on your chin;
Tie your hair in loops.
"Golf and ties and collars shun;
Lunch upon a penny bun;
Butter not your bread;
Save your pennies--every one
Helps to crush the brutal Hun."
Thus and thus we've said.