The best things said at a public meeting are often uttered by an
anonymous "Voice." Mr. WILL THORNE is the "Voice" of the House of Commons.
Endowed with a fine pair of lungs and a style of delivery that resembles
the cork coming out of a ginger-beer bottle he frequently expresses in
his explosive style the collective opinion of his fellow-Members. At
Question time Lord ROBERT CECIL referred to the abominable treatment of
British prisoners of war at the Wittenberg camp, and said that steps were
being taken to circulate in neutral countries the report of Mr. Justice
YOUNGER's Committee. There was a sudden "Pop," and out came Mr. THORNE with
"Send it to the conscientious objectors."
On the Second Reading of the Budget Mr. THOMAS O'CONNOR, as the SPEAKER
punctiliously calls him, led off with a vigorous attack upon the
match-tax. The discovery, made many years ago, that match-making as
then conducted caused a painful disease of the jaw first aroused T.P.'s
sympathetic interest. He now displayed an intimate acquaintance with
the details of the industry and discoursed learnedly on the shortage
of muriate of potash for the heads and of aspen for the splints. His
argument briefly amounted to this--that the manufacturers of matches,
like those of mustard, depended for their profits upon the amount wasted,
and that to check public extravagance would destroy the trade.
The aspens on the Treasury Bench did not quiver visibly under
this assault. They were more amenable to the criticisms on the
railway-tax, which would fall very hardly upon commercial travellers
and other business people. Mr. MCKENNA promised to give careful
consideration to the criticisms before the Committee stage. Possibly it
has occurred to him that as the Government have undertaken to bring
the net receipts of the railway companies up to the 1914 level the
Exchequer might have to pay out of one pocket nearly as much as it puts
into the other.
_Tuesday, April 11th._--One of the French Deputies visiting Westminster
thinks us a queer people. He had heard last night the PRIME MINISTER's
stout declaration of the Allies' resolve to bring Prussia's military
domination to an end. Again this afternoon he had been told on the same
high authority that the late Conference in Paris had reaffirmed the
entire solidarity of the Allies and established the complete identity
of their views. Then he had walked across the corridor to the House of
Lords, expecting, no doubt, to hear the same sentiments expressed in even
loftier language. Instead, he had to listen to Lord COURTNEY, in the
traditional yellow waistcoat, declaiming with all the vigour of his
_premiere jaunesse_ against the notion that we should enter into any
fiscal relations with our Allies that might imperil the sacred principles
of Free Trade.
Lord COURTNEY believes that there is in Germany a large and powerful
peace-party, which must not be frightened by any threats of reprisals,
and he commends to the Allies in 1916 the example of BISMARCK in letting
the Austrians off easily in 1866. Our visitor was a little relieved by
the explanation that the orator was an interesting survival of a school
of thought now passed away, and represented no one but himself. But he
was again puzzled when Lord BRYCE, who knows as much about the manners
of the gentle Hun as anybody (witness his report on the atrocities in
Belgium), joined in the appeal that we should be nice to Germany after
the War.
He was, however, somewhat comforted when Lord CREWE made it plain that
the Government did not share Lord COURTNEY's illusions about the strength
of the German peace-party, and, having regard to the manner in which
Germany had in the past combined commercial expansion with political
intrigue, could not hold out hopes that after the War we should do
business with her in the same old easy-going way. But if our French
friend is still not quite convinced that British statesmen fully realize
what the War means to him and his country I don't I think we can altogether
blame him.
[Illustration: MARRIED MEN TRACKING DOWN THE SINGLE.
"I am unable to say what steps the married men may take to track the
single."--_Mr. TENNANT, in the House._]
In the Commons Mr. PEMBERTON BILLING developed his usual Tuesday "hate."
But on this occasion there was no reply from the Government heavy
batteries; little Mr. REA explaining that as the Hon. Member had failed
to warn them of his intention to bombard they had no ammunition ready.
_Wednesday, April 12th._--Although, like another noble Earl, Lord SELBORNE
is "not an agricultural labourer," he does his best to play the part, and
save our food-producers from the maw of the hungry recruiting officer.
A representative of the Board of Agriculture now holds a watching brief
at every local Tribunal, to see that the Military representative does
not have things too much his own way. No wonder that the taxes mount
up faster than the recruiting returns.
Time was when Mr. SWIFT MACNEILL successfully dissembled his affection
for the House of Lords. To-day his principal object in life is to purge
the roll of that illustrious House of the peerages now held by the
enemy Dukes of CUMBERLAND and ALBANY. The PRIME MINISTER was strangely
unsympathetic. Legislation would be necessary, and would occupy too much
time. "Three minutes," suggested Sir ARTHUR MARKHAM; but Mr. ASQUITH was
still obdurate, and seemed to think that as the Dukes in question had
lost their Garters they were sufficiently down-at-heel already.
When packing his Budget a wise CHANCELLOR OF THE EXCHEQUER always includes
some little tit-bit that he can throw to the wolves if they become too
insistent. In the present case the tax on railway tickets was marked
for abandonment at the outset, and to-day it met its expected fate.
The Amusements tax was strenuously opposed by Mr. BARNES, on the ground
that most of the money would come from the poor; but Mr. MCKENNA frankly
replied that that was just what he intended. He agreed, however, to
consider the claim of the Zoo to exemption. The match-makers were partially
appeased by a promise that mechanical lighters should not be overlooked.
The CHANCELLOR is now in some doubt as to whether he or AESCHYLUS has
produced the more notable version of "Prometheus Bound."
_Thursday, April 13th._--A provincial paper lately referred to Mr. MCKENNA
as the "Cancellor"--a humorous compositor's way, no doubt, of indicating
the modifications in the Budget. Hardly one of the proposed new taxes
has survived intact. Even the tax on mineral waters has had to undergo
considerable alteration. It was devised to get some contribution towards
the nation's needs from those who wear the blue ribbon of a beerless
life, and to that end the tax was to be collected by means of a stamp on
each individual bottle. But the manufacturers successfully protested that
the boys and girls who affix the labels already adorning these gaseous
wares could not be trusted to put on stamps as well. Mr. MONTAGU announced
this afternoon that the manufacturers would be taxed direct on their
certified output. But he did so with obvious reluctance, and as if what
was once a sparkling proposition had become indubitably flat and possibly
unprofitable.
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Our Stylists.
"Now and again a mirthless laugh rose silently to the red banks of
her lips."
_Grand Magazine._
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