[_Enter_ Jim, _R. H., with banjo_.
_Jim._ Hang dese low niggers! dey are always in de way ob dere
superiors. [_Looks at his watch._] My gracious! it’s nearly time to get
ready fur de ball; so I’ll just slamanade Miss Araminta a little before
I go.
[_Sings._ AIR.--“_Oh, hush._”
Lubly Araminta, Brown is come,
And sings to you with his thrum, tum;
So open de door an’ let me in,
For de way I love you is a sin!
Clar de kitchen, old folks, young folks, etc.
[Araminta _appears at a window and sings_.
Dandy Jim, when last we parted,
You to me did prove false-hearted;
It’s Whitewash Sall you want to see,
And she ain’t one bit better than me.
Clar de kitchen, etc., etc.
[_Scene changes, as_ Jim _is kneeling and_ Araminta _is closing the
window to a plain room_.
[_Enter_ Pompey, _L. H., cautiously_.
_Pom._ Nobody here--dat’s good. Ha--ha! golly, I got into dis ball
pooty cheap. I come up to de door, and I didn’t see nobody dar; so
I toted myself right in. Dar’s nobody come yet, so I’ll just sing a
little.
[_Sings._ AIR.--“_Brave Old Black Oak._”
A grin fur de oak, de ole black oak,
Who’s trunk I’se sawed so long;
Here’s a laugh all round, for his skin so brown,
An’ his forty-five legs so strong,
He shakes all round
When he’s chopped down,
An’ de coons cut dirt all about;
He gives fire an’ light
Ob a long cold night,
When de old nor-easters shout.
_Pom._ (_Voices heard outside._) Hello! here comes de guests to de
ball. I’ll just step out ob de way, until some ob dem come in. [_Exit
R. H. Enter a number of wenches and sing; then_ Pompey _comes in_.] How
are you gen’lemen and ladies? I hope I see you all ’joyin’ good health.
[_Looks off, R. H._] Hello! here comes Mr. Jim Brown, Esquire, as he
told me to call him; and he’s got Miss Peachblossom wid him.
[_Enter_ Jim Brown _and_ Araminta. _They are the bon-ton; all the
characters bow to them, and shake hands after business. Four dance,
etc._
_Jim Brown._ [_To_ Pompey.] Pompey, I tole you once dat I was a
fernologist.
_Pom._ A what?
_Jim._ A fernologist.
_Pom._ What’s dat?
_Jim._ Tell de bumps on de head.
_Pom._ No! but are you?
_Jim._ Yes, sir. Just you sit down and I’ll ’zamine you.
_Pom._ Bery well. [_Sits in C._
_Jim._ All ready?
_Pom._ Yes.
[_Recites the following lecture_:
_Jim._ You know as the tree is bent so is the twig inclined. In de fus
place, fustly, dis little nigga’s head am like a monkey’s, only de
monkey’s head am much littler dan dis, and dis am as much biggerer dan
de monkey’s, consequently dey must both be ob de same size. In de fust
place, secondly, I’se gwan as far forward as de back part ob de head,
dat dey call de frontal bone; ’tain’t because it is all bone--oh,
no, ’tain’t that--but because it is as far from de mouf as de calf of
de shin, and dat is why dey call it de frontal bone. Dar--dar, dar’s
a bump; dat’s what dey call de bump of combativeness; under dat bump
dere is a large bladder ob dandriff, and when de nigga gets a little
’zaggerated, de bladder splodes; de cold air rushes into de vacum,
and de nigga gradually subsides into his former situation. Dar, dar’s
anoder bump--oh, golly, what a big bump!--dat’s what dey call de bump
ob music; any nigga dat has dat bump any way permanent or largely
deweloped, can play any tune on de fiddle--dat is, if he know’d how to
play it afore. And now I hope I’ve satisfied you dat I know something
about dis science. For de present, _Ecce sigmum, hoc vobis cum, quantum
suff_.
_Pom._ Well, you can suffer just as much as you please, but I won’t let
you make me suffer; so just take dat!
[_Hits_ Jim.
_Jim._ A blow! and from a low wood-sawyer!
_Pom._ Yes, sir-ee! And dar’s anoder! [_Both fight._ Pompey _floors_
Jim; _wenches faint, and a regular Sixth Ward fight all around, as the
curtain goes down_.