PETE,
IKE,
REBECCA,
CLARA.
SCENE.--_Full stage. Cottage R. U. E. with window and door of paper
same color as cottage._
_Enter_ Pete _and_ Ike _R. and L._ (_They shake hands._)
_Pete._ Why, Ichabod, I’se totally surprised for to see you. Whar you
gwine at this lateness ob de hour?
_Ike._ (_Putting his thumbs in armholes of vest and assuming “bad”
position._) Dat depends on sarcumstances. If I recognize dis locality
aright, I hab reached de finale ob my predestination.
_Pete._ (_In astonishment._) Do tell!
_Ike._ Do you see dat brownstraw roofed mansion yonder? Dar’s whar I
anchor.
_Pete._ What brings you ’round yere; business or pleasure?
_Ike._ Well, principally business. Do you know any one ’round yere by
de name ob Clara?
_Pete._ No; but I’m acquainted wid a personage whose antecedent
cognomen is Rebecca.
_Ike._ Well, it is more than presumable that our own prefatory
incomprehensibility is based on its peculiar sanitary enfranchisement.
Don’t you think so?
_Pete._ Yes, I guess you’re about right; we’re both on the same lay.
_Ike._ Dat’s English; and now to business.
[_Walks right and left about the stage, and advances and sings as
follows_:
AIR:--_Big Fat Nance_.
Now, we’ve come out for a moonlight ramble,
To meet de gals dat we adore;
(_Pete._) My own Rebecca, (_Ike_) And my Clara;
And both our hearts wif love are sore;
In yonder cottage dey reside,
Dey promised to meet us here to-night,
Dese charming wenches are our pride;
Two raspberry blondes, our heart’s delight.
_Chorus._
Den hearken to de music’s rapture,
Wid love our hearts begin to ache,
And since of us dey made a capture
We’ll show you how to make a break.
(_Dance._)
_Ike._ Say, Pete, don’t you think it ’bout time dose festive shemales
made deir appearance?
_Pete._ Ob course; but if dey didn’t hear us, what are we gwine to do?
_Ike._ I dunno. [_Scratches his head._] Suppose we get a brick and
throw it at de house; dat’ll bring dem out, and we will gib dem de
grand surprise.
_Pete._ Dat’s so. [_They retire R. and L., and producing imitation
bricks throw them at the cottage. Music soft_; Pete _and_ Ike _retire
R. and L. Enter_ Rebecca _and_ Clara _from cottage. Pick up bricks._
_Reb._ Oh, it’s a shame?
_Clara._ Dat’s what I say; it’s a shame. De idea ob dose dog-goned
niggers throwing a quarry at de house to make us aware of deir
whereabouts.
_Reb._ Oh, it wasn’t your lover dat trew da brick; you needn’t growl.
_Clara._ No, I don’t tink it was; I guess it must ha’ been your Pete;
he’s so strong he could trow it wif his breff. Dere!
[_She throws the brick at_ Rebecca’s _foot_. Rebecca _hits her on the
head with the brick she had. They each pick up the bricks to throw them
at each other, when_ Pete _and_ Ike _appear_. Rebecca _and_ Clara _spy
them and throw the bricks at them, hitting them_. Pete _and_ Ike _howl
and retire_.
_Clara._ Ha--ha! did you see me hit him?
_Reb._ I guess dat ought to teach dem to be more civil to deir
superiors.
_Clara._ Yes; dey said dey’d gib us de grand surprise. I don’t tink dey
did.
_Reb._ (_Tearfully._) Yes; but I forgib dem. You know how I love Peter
Holloway. [_Covers her face with apron._
_Clara._ (_Clasping her._) ’Deed I do, Rebecca. I can sympathize with
you. [Rebecca _cries loudly_.] Listen to ecstasy, Rebecca. Wake up,
chile. Rouse yo’self.
[Rebecca _wipes her eyes, and both bend low, listening to the music.
They walk around with hands upraised, and advance to stage front,
singing the following_:
Oh, we’re in love wid two spruce darkies,
Who ebry night at de hour ob nine,
Do wend deir way unto our homestead;
An’ to-night dey are both on time;
Dey call us dear and tender names,
In de canebrake down by yonder lane;
By deir handsome forms an’ winning ways,
We’re “gone,” but we are not to blame.
_Chorus._
Den hearken to de music’s rapture,
For a dance our feet begin to ache,
An’ since of us dose coons make a capture,
We’ll show you how to make a break.
[_Dance._
[_Meanwhile_ Pete _and_ Ike _come on and make remarks on the dancing.
At the end of dance the girls spy the negroes and angrily walk towards
them._ Pete _and_ Ike _produce large razors and chase the girls. They
shout, and_ Clara _dives through window of cottage_, Rebecca _walking
through the door_. Pete _and_ Ike _put up their razors and call for the
girls; they at length come out slowly_.]
_Reb._ (_To_ Pete.) What for you try to carve me wid a razor, eh? Fo’
fifty dollahs I’d strike you so hard dat you wouldn’t eben hab time to
dream of anoddah hen roost.
_Pete._ Who dreams about hen-roosts, eh? I tink I know considerable ob
your private experience, anyway. I guess as how I know who took de duck
eggs from Jim Barker’s hen coop. You can’t teach me ’bout de honesty ob
some people.
_Reb._ Well, I can learn to forgib you, Pete Holloway; but I advise you
neber again to gib such an exasperating shock to my nerves. You know
I’m tender.
[_They make up and clasp each other. Meanwhile_ Ike _and_ Clara _have
not approached each other_.
_Clara._ (_Mildly._) I should neber hab tought it ob you, Ichabod
Fitzsimmons, neber.
_Ike._ (_Excitedly._) Well, no one cares. I’m satisfied, if no one
else is. I guess I can do as I please. Dar’s just as good coons in dis
village as eber you were. I neber cared much fo’ de place, anyway.
[_Indignantly he proceeds to walk across and off the stage._ Clara
_rushes at him, and knocking him down, puts her foot on him and
flourishes a small (imitation) ax over him_. Pete _and_ Rebecca _run
towards her, and take the ax from her. They form a tableau._ Ike
_exclaims tragically_: “_Saved--saved!_”
_Pete._ You deserved dat, an’ you came widin a hair’s breadth of
gettin’ scalped. You’d better forgib her.
[_They make up, and joining arms walk R. and L. up the stage, and
advance, and sing the following_:
_Reb._ Now, Pete, you mashed and dead gone nigger,
Quit your foolin’ an’ join de rhyme.
_Pete._ Why, bless you, honey, I’m all attention,
An’ willin’ to dance an’ keep in time.
_Clara._ Ichabod, say you love me still,
And neber go back on your sugar plum.
[_They clasp._
_Ike._ Forgib me, honey, an’ take me to your bosom,
For what we did was all in fun.
_R. & C._ Den join us in de song and dance,
Whenever you may come around.
_All._ We’ll drive dull care by slinging our shoe,
For dat is where we all grab ground.
_Chorus._
Den hearken to de music’s rapture,
For a dance our shoes begin to shake,
And since ob us you made a capture,
We’ll execute a heavy break. (_Dance._)
[CURTAIN.]