From dis day to dot I haf been a changed man; I never get sober ofer
dree dimes a week--agate measure.
Oh, I give it to you straight, my hearers, demperance vos a great
ding--for women and children.
I had a brudder vonce, a goot, nice, six for a penny leedle poy. He had
hair like roasted cheese und a complexion like strawberries mit gream
gakes. Ve all dought dat he vould grow ub to pe bresident of a pank,
skib avay to Canada und end his days universally respected.
But he vos led astray.
He got in mit an alderman’s son und a minister’s daughter, und dot
ruined him.
He vos goaxed to drink.
Fust vater mit orange peel, den soda vater, next veiss peer mit a glub
in it, after dot, brandy.
Ve dried to stop him in his vild career, but it vos N. G.--no use.
He vould come home newsbaber drunk efery night, und addract a growd
around the house mit his antics, und dere vosn’t a slate in the
neighborhood dot didn’t pear his autograph.
Und where is he now?