Oh! Where would I be when my froat was dry?
Oh! Where would I be when the bullets fly?
Oh! Where would I be when I come to die?
Why,
Somewheres anigh my chum.
If 'e's liquor 'e'll give me some,
If I'm dyin' 'e'll 'old my 'ead,
An' 'e'll write 'em 'Ome when I'm dead.--
Gawd send us a trusty chum!
_Barrack Room Ballad._
My friends Mulvaney and Ortheris had gone on a shooting-expedition for one
day. Learoyd was still in hospital, recovering from fever picked up in
Burma. They sent me an invitation to join them, and were genuinely pained
when I brought beer--almost enough beer to satisfy two Privates of the
Line ... and Me.
"'Twasn't for that we bid you welkim, sorr," said Mulvaney, sulkily. "Twas
for the pleasure av your comp'ny."
Ortheris came to the rescue with--"Well, 'e won't be none the worse for
bringin' liquor with 'im. We ain't a file o' Dooks. We're bloomin'
Tommies, ye cantankris Hirishman; an' 'eres your very good 'ealth!"
We shot all the forenoon, and killed two pariah-dogs, four green parrots,
sitting, one kite by the burning-ghaut, one snake flying, one mud-turtle,
and eight crows. Game was plentiful. Then we sat down to
tiffin--"bull-mate an' bran-bread," Mulvaney called it--by the side of the
river, and took pot shots at the crocodiles in the intervals of cutting up
the food with our only pocket-knife. Then we drank up all the beer, and
threw the bottles into the water and fired at them. After that, we eased
belts and stretched ourselves on the warm sand and smoked. We were too
lazy to continue shooting.
Ortheris heaved a big sigh, as he lay on his stomach with his head between
his fists. Then he swore quietly into the blue sky.
"Fwhat's that for?" said Mulvaney, "Have ye not drunk enough?"
"Tott'nim Court Road, an' a gal I fancied there. Wot's the good of
sodgerin'?"
"Orth'ris, me son," said Mulvaney, hastily, "'tis more than likely you've
got throuble in your inside wid the beer. I feel that way mesilf whin my
liver gets rusty."