Festivals--A cruel christening--Marriage-making--The fiancé a
bore--The bride’s moral references--Anonymous letters--The bridal
dress--The marriage ceremony--A floral departure--Hired jewellery
as wedding presents--Child brides--Tempted to the altar with a
doll!
Festivals are numerous, and are conducted on a very lavish scale.
Baptisms, marriages, and “names-days” are usually made the occasion of
great feasting. Birthdays are not celebrated, but “names-days” are;
that is, one keeps high holiday on the saint’s day after whom one is
named, as St Marie, St Anna, St John, etc.
A Roumanian baptism is a very curious ceremony. Many guests are
invited, but the father and mother of the child are never allowed to be
present. After prayers have been recited by the priest, a large font,
almost full of luke-warm water, is brought in. Into this the child is
plunged three times, the mouth, nose, and eyes being kept closely shut
by the fingers of the priest. The poor little mite comes up gasping,
and when it has regained its breath after the third dip, there is
generally an outburst of crying. More prayers are then intoned, and the
priest proceeds to touch the forehead, lips, hands, and feet of the
child with holy oil, so that it may think no evil, speak no evil, do no
evil, nor go where evil is done. The priest interrupts this ceremony
several times, in order to spit once before him, once behind, and then
at each side. This is to keep off the devil with all his evil ways. I
was present at a baptism once, but never again. I thought it terribly
cruel for the poor little mite, and no longer wondered that the absence
of the parents should be insisted on.
Marriages are generally arranged through the mediation of a third
person. Mme. A., for example, has a son whom she would like to see
settled in a home of his own with a wife who can furnish the house,
pay off his debts, and generally make him comfortable. She looks round
her circle of acquaintances, makes inquiries further afield, and when
she hears of a suitable match, begs one of her friends to act as
intermediary.
If the negotiations go on smoothly, and the “dot” (the principal point)
is considered satisfactory, the engagement is celebrated immediately.
Invitations are issued, bon-bons, champagne, etc., ordered from Capsa,
the “lautari” (Roumanian musicians) are engaged, and when the happy
occasion arrives, dancing is kept up till a very late hour. In the
course of the evening dancing stops for a short time, everyone crowds
into the largest drawing-room, where the engaged couple are found
standing side by side. The oldest friend of the family makes a short
speech, wishing all happiness and prosperity to the young people, who
then exchange rings. These rings are worn till the wedding-day, when
they are once more exchanged and the bride comes into her own.
After the engagement, the bridegroom comes to dinner every evening to
make the acquaintance of the bride, as probably he has never set eyes
on her before. The engagement rarely lasts longer than two or three
weeks, for, as a prospective mother-in-law once remarked to me, “long
engagements are impossible in our country. It is tedious enough for us
having this man come to dinner every evening for a week or two.”
When the approaching marriage of a young couple is announced, the
authorities send round forms to three householders in the neighbourhood
of the bride’s residence which they are requested to fill up and
return. The questions are relative to the moral character of the
bride. When I first heard of this extraordinary procedure, I did not
believe the truth of the story, but later on I was shown one of these
amazing documents. Another very unpleasant feature of engagements is
the constant reception by both bride and groom of anonymous letters
containing all sorts of allegations and suggestions concerning the
character of the prospective partner. These letters continue to arrive
till the day on which the wedding takes place.
A Roumanian bride’s dress does not differ very much from that of her
western sister, with the exception of the veil. Instead of a veil, as
we understand it, a quantity of gold thread is worn, falling from the
head to the edge of the dress. It has a very beautiful effect. In very
grand weddings this thread is of real gold and costs a great deal of
money. In weddings of a simple character, the thread is not gold, and
is usually hired for the occasion.
The civil ceremony required by law takes place one day, the religious
marriage on the day following. The latter usually takes place in the
evening, and the gay toilets of the guests, the gala-robes of the
priests, and the innumerable wax candles which light up the scene,
make a striking and beautiful picture. The bridesmaids assemble in
the church to await the bride, who is then immediately led up to the
“ikons,” _i.e._ holy pictures, in order to kiss them. She then takes
her stand together with the bridegroom and his near relatives at a
small table, and the service begins.
Light metal crowns are placed on the heads of the bride and groom
(it is rather ludicrous in the case of the latter, especially if he
happens to be bald), and the intoning of the prayers continues, to the
accompaniment of a shower of flowers which descend from the galleries
on all the participants in the ceremony.
The rings are next exchanged, and afterwards the “holy dance” takes
place. Bride and groom, near relatives, and priests, all join hands and
solemnly make a circuit of the table three times. It is rather a risky
proceeding for the bridegroom, as his crown is so liable to fall off.
The bride is safe, as hers is fastened with hairpins.
A procession of carriages is formed for the homeward journey. These
carriages are generally decorated with flowers, and large lighted
candles are carried by the footman on the box.
In olden times the girls in Roumania were sought in marriage at a very
early age. It was not considered at all extraordinary for girls of
fifteen or even younger to get married.
A young Roumanian lady told me that her own grandmother was only
thirteen years of age when she married. The proposal of marriage was
laid before her, and she, being only a child, thought how fine it
would be to have nice new dresses and be able to buy anything she
fancied, therefore she readily agreed.
When the wedding-day arrived, however, the child was not in the same
mood, and nothing would induce her to go to church. Persuasion,
promises, threats, all were unavailing. The bridegroom elect and
the relatives were at their wits’ end; everything was prepared, the
visitors assembled, the priests already waiting at the church to
perform the ceremony. What was to be done? Suddenly the bridegroom
elect had an inspiration. Throwing himself into the waiting carriage,
he dashed off at full speed, returning in a short time with the most
beautiful doll that could be bought in Bucarest. The joy of the child
was unbounded, and when the doll was placed in her arms she readily
consented to go to church and get married. In spite of her fit of
objection on the day of her nuptials, she was, I have been assured,
very happy in her married life. To the day of her death, however, she
never called her husband anything but “Domnele,” _i.e._ Master. He was
considerably older than she, hence, I suppose, her great respect for
him.