CHAPTER XXV

Early next morning the Princess went out to gather roses for a table

decoration, and Mr Barringcourt paid an unusually early and very

unexpected call. He saw her stretch up eagerly to snip a glorious

damask queen, and then, before she cut it, suddenly turn to see him

standing there. And her cheeks went the colour of the uncut rose, and

the scissors and basket slipped out of her hand, and the gathered

flowers all lay in confusion at her feet.

And both of them stood looking at each other without a word, and the

deep colour died away from Marigold’s face.

It must be admitted that Alice was watching in the distance, watching

with a triumphant heart, for it was at her telling that he had been

admitted to the rose-garden--Alice, who had an old score to pay off.

“I have come to apologise.”

Marigold clasped her hands in front--always a dangerous attitude with

her--and looked at him with a little cold surprise, bent on not

answering.

He bit his lip, as well he might; yet made another clean breast of it.

“I didn’t know who you were.”

Scorn arose and flashed out of the beautiful eyes.

“That accounts for everything, then. Your conduct under those

circumstances was quite excusable.”

“You do not understand me.”

“I--I understand you perfectly. Perhaps I--I ought to apologise too.

I--I forgot myself for--for a little while. I--I took you for some one

else. I--I----”

Everything had died away from Marigold now that she had begun to

speak--everything, except the pretty, unconscious attitude, and those

wonderful eyes, half-truthful, half-frightened, with no acting at all.

“Then,” said he gently, “let us forget it.”

But she shook her head.

“I can’t.” And her hand went up to the ribbon at her throat

unconsciously.

“I--I hurt you.”

“Oh no; but if you were a gentleman you would keep away. I--I was very

silly, but I was ill.”

“Yes. You had been so very kind to Timothy.”

Marigold’s eyes fell to the ground, and she clenched her hands

tightly as each fell suddenly to her side, for, at the mention of the

little cripple child and the accompanying tenderness of tone, the old

dangerous feeling began to rise in her, almost suffocating her. It was

one of the few times when she ceased to look beautiful, for the wave of

feelings, and the great will-power needed to at all subdue or rather

hide them, gave to every feature a strange, hard, full look not its own.

“Yes, I was kind, and you were kinder. We’ll let that pass, and other

things. You must go.”

Her voice, too, was thick and unnatural.

“Then you must forgive me.”

“No, no, I never can. There are a hundred things for which I never can

forgive you.”

“My only fault all through was that I misunderstood you.”

“Rather that you hated me.”

“I misunderstood you. You said you were a beggar girl, and I believed

you.”

“How contemptible you are! Holy Serpent! what are men coming to, to see

no shame in their own cowardice and lack of chivalry?”

“Marigold, I----”

“You will perhaps remember my title; this familiarity is the last

insult. If you will not go, I shall send for the--the footman to show

you the--the gate.”

She expected some retort, but did not get it, for he stood there, his

head bent towards the ground.

“If you will not forgive me, I must cease to ask for your forgiveness.

But you cannot prevent my feeling shame and sorrow for what I did so

unaccountably, so unexpectedly. You say you were tired with nursing

Timothy; perhaps I was tired too.”

“You weren’t,” she panted; “you got him away from me, and--and then you

were happy. You--you were jealous of me all the time.”

“Yes, for another woman’s sake. At least, I thought so. He is quite

safe with me. You were not strong enough. What would you have done with

him?”

“Why do you always torture me? Is it a pleasure to you to see me

all--all unstrung? Go away, or--or I must.”

She turned and walked unsteadily, if quickly, to the open windows. Yet

he had made no attempt to follow her, for her voice was nothing but

hard pride and shame, at being thus found too weak to fight against her

own emotions.

Inside the room she sank into a chair, trembling and shivering.

And then at last a sudden change came in her face, bringing the old

beauty.

“I’ll run after him, and say I’ve--I’ve changed my mind--that I’ve

forgiven him, if he’s forgiven me.”

And quickly she ran out across the smooth lawn, through the gates, and

into the broad park. But he was nowhere, neither near nor far, and

Marigold’s face was white with disappointment, and grey with the long

strain. So she went back to the rose-garden, and flung herself down

upon the grass amongst the bowers of roses, and cried just as when

a child, in the big grand gardens far away in Fairy Sky, when night

descended and the stars came out, and she remembered she was quite

alone, with no companion, nothing but the beauty of the world--an

orphan, with a child’s heart aching for love.

And now the same, only the child’s heart was changed into a woman’s.

Yet there was so little dross in it that it was far too soft for daily

use, though the crust of tiny diamonds might at times make it look hard.

“He’ll never come back now,” she said, “because I was so horrid to him.

I couldn’t help it. I thought it so contemptible to come with that

excuse. But oh! I don’t know, and I don’t care. I can’t tell whether

he is contemptible or not. I only know I love him.”

And when she went upstairs to change the simple morning-robe for one a

little more elaborate, she sat before the glass alone, and removed the

velvet at her neck.

“I am glad these marks are on my neck. I hope they never disappear,”

she said. “It is our little secret away from the world. They used to

burn with anger--at least, I thought it anger, but I don’t know, I

don’t understand a thing. I wish the marks had been on my hands or

arms, or somewhere that I might have kissed them.”

And she kissed the velvet that encircled them instead.

And suddenly her eyes filled with tears.

“And Timothy--he said that Timothy was safe. Patches! dear little

Patches! It was you who taught me how to be good--how to try. And now

you’ve gone, everything is black again. Who cares really whether I’m

good or not?”

And then life went on evenly again, though Marigold passed over the

rough stones bare-foot. And every day her loveliness became more

ethereal and spiritual, and no one but Alice noticed the gradual

wasting away; yet she dare not presume across the silent barrier that

had sprung up between her mistress and herself--nay, between her

mistress and every one around her.

For Marigold now went out far more than she had ever done--sickness and

charities and social duties each claiming her attention.

And now she laughed just as in the olden times, but with the world of

difference to the faithful servant’s ears; for sometimes in the night

she would hear the stifled cry of pain, the restless motion, the weary

sigh.

And one night in the darkness she crept up to her mistress’s bed.

“Princess,” she cried, “say you’re ill, and let us have a doctor.”

“Alice! what nonsense! go back to bed at once, or we’ll be having the

doctor to you.”

“You’re growing thinner every day, Princess.”

“Then it suits me,” and she laughed. “For to-night I had more

compliments paid me than even is usual with a Princess.”

And Alice went away, the hard, brilliant tone covering the childish

sweetness in her voice, that rang out so pathetically, because you were

not meant to hear it.

And each day the High Priest’s infatuation grew, and who could blame

him? Yet, since the interview with Mr Barringcourt, Marigold had held

slightly back, now smiling, now laughing and merry, now very silent,

wistful, and retiring, and he knew not in which mood he loved her best.

Yet they met little as yet except in public, and it was well.

And in public also she had met Mr Barringcourt, and almost like a

child might, tired at last of straining and pretending coldness or

indifference, she met him simply with a sweet gravity, and sometimes

a little heightened colour; and he in his turn (but that is best left

to Marigold, because she loved him, though it was rarely if they ever

spoke, and that only in the stress of circumstances).

Yet Marigold would pray every night:

“Holy Serpent! dearest guide and counsellor, preserve the man I love,

and bring him to Heaven. And I--I am nothing but a child, I should like

to come to Heaven too.”

And the Serpent was very kind to Marigold, because she prayed the

right way and not too long, and perhaps because she was a convert, and

perhaps because she didn’t enquire too minutely into his three tails,

but took him quite for granted. And perhaps again because she prayed

for the right man, and prayed for him nicely, for the Serpent owed a

great deal to Mr Barringcourt, the Master, and his Father’s house; for

he, the Serpent, had been built up by them, endued with power and

fascination quite outside his own sphere to compel.

And so a few weeks sped by, and then, when the High Priest was

indisposed--a sudden heart-attack, the doctors said--Marigold called to

see him and stayed the afternoon, St Armand being there too; and, as

you know, she made an ideal nurse. And when she was gone, the patient

became gloomy and irritable, and then St Armand smiled, looked at his

watch, and went out for a stroll.

Marigold · 第 25 / 30 章