MRS. SWEET. Then you must allow me to say that your not going to-night
is a mere caprice, you would be just as well at the opera as sitting
up in this room.
SWEET. Possibly! but I don't mean to put it to the proof.
MRS. SWEET. (_altering her manner_) What, not for _my_ sake, Willie,
not if I coax you? I _do so_ wish to go, it is so seldom I have an
opportunity of going to the opera.
SWEET. No, it's of no use--I tell you I won't go!
MRS. SWEET. Really, this behaviour is most unpardonable, why you are a
completely altered man--I am surprised at you!
SWEET. Yes, ma'am, I _am_ altered--totally altered! (_crosses to L._)
I have given way for the last time, and you'll be much _more_
surprised when you find that I am firm--determined--fixed!
MRS. SWEET. Well, I have never seen you in such a detestable temper
before in all my life.
SWEET. You provoke me, ma'am! I am tired of being contradicted! Tired
of it!
MRS. SWEET. What _can_ you mean, William? Why, if any one saw us we
should be set down for the most unhappy couple in the world.
SWEET. So we are, Mrs. Sweet! so we are! although I wasn't aware of
till we came down here a month ago to these lodgings with the
Shorts,--I was contented enough before then, happy as the days were
long--sometimes giving into _your_ way, sometimes getting my own,--but
I was a fool then, and didn't know any better! Look at Short--my eyes
are opened now--see how much happier he is with _his wife_ than _I_ am
with _you!_ I wish, ma'am, to be obeyed like Short--to be observed
like Short--to be doated on like Short--to be caressed like Short--to
be petted like Short--to be patted like Short--to be _fat_ like Short!
Why ain't I of as much consequence as he is? Why is he always obeyed
when I am not? (_crosses to R._)
MRS. SWEET. Because he is less extravagant in his desires, I suppose.
SWEET. How, ma'am!
MRS. SWEET. Or else, perhaps, because he has a more amiable way of
making his wishes understood. In a word--because he doesn't resemble
you.
SWEET. This is downright personality--I give you fair warning--I am
getting into a most enormous passion!
_Enter STEPHEN, L. C._
STEPH. Mr. Billington is here, ma'am.
SWEET. We're not at home. (_crosses to L._) What does he want?
STEPH. He says, sir, he waited this morning nearly an hour in front of
the Crystal Palace, according to appointment, and finding that you
didn't come he has called to enquire if there is anything the matter.
SWEET. We can't see him--we're not at home.
MRS. SWEET. Impossible, you can't mean it! What now, he is in the
house?
SWEET. (_to STEPHEN_) Do you hear what I say?
_Exit STEPHEN, L. C._
MRS. SWEET. I never would have believed that you could have behaved
like this--what _will_ Mr. Billington think of us?
SWEET. What do I care?
MRS. SWEET. You _must_ go to-night now, if it be only to apologize to
him--after keeping him waiting, too, all the morning.
SWEET. It will be time enough to-morrow--I shall see him in the City.
MRS. SWEET. I don't understand your conduct, William--it must be
simply to vex and annoy _me_, that you refuse to accompany me this
evening.
SWEET. No, ma'am, I am acting advisedly, on principle.
MRS. SWEET. Very well, sir--I see your object. You have determined to
make me unhappy, and you have perfectly succeeded. I am not accustomed
to these insane transports of passion, without the slightest motive.
Your cruel treatment has wounded me to that degree! (_crying_) What
have I done to deserve it?