MRS. SWEET. No, no, but tell me. How strange you are--just now, when I
didn't care about going, you were violently in favour of it; and now
that I have consented and dressed myself to please you, you want to
stay at home. My dear William--what nonsense! Of course, we must go
now you have sent to say so. What can you be thinking about?
SWEET. (_aside_) There she is again--arguing the point with me! How
different with Short; and yet that great hulky fellow, insensible of
his own happiness, sits there stuffing ready to burst himself.
SHORT. (_looking up from his knife and fork_) Well, have you settled
the point?
MRS. SWEET. My dear, Stephen is waiting for orders. (_coaxingly_) You
know I have already given way to you, Willie--it's now your turn.
SWEET. (_aside_) I feel that I am yielding, and I can't help it.
(_aloud_) Well, that's true--so you did. (_aside_) Short's laughing at
me; but I mustn't exact too much from her at once.
MRS. SWEET. Come, come--we shall be keeping them waiting.
SWEET. Ah, to be sure, I didn't think of that. (_apologetically to
SHORT, and crossing to him_) You that makes all the difference, Short.
We have friends waiting for us. Stephen, you can tell the man to take
back only two of the horses.
STEPHEN. Yes, sir.
_Exit, L. C._
MRS. SWEET. There, that's like a man of sense; you may give me a kiss,
and then get your hat, and let us be off.
SWEET. Certainly, Fanny, that habit of yours is monstrously becoming
to you! (_kisses her--aside_) That's all very well in its way, but I'm
a great ass for my pains notwithstanding.
MRS. SWEET. Now, then, are you ready?
SWEET. (_putting on his hat and taking his whip_) Good bye, Short,
take care of yourself. We shall find you at home I suppose when we
come back.
SHORT. Oh, yes, no fear of that. A safe ride to you. Good bye. (_Exit
SWEET and MRS. SWEET, L. C._) Ha! ha! ha! there he goes! poor tame
snake! A model of a husband!
_Re-enter, MRS. SHORT door, L. 1 E., without her habit, as at first._
MRS. SHORT. (_aside, looking after MR. and MRS. SWEET_) There they go.
How I should like to be with them!
SHORT. I wish them joy. Ha! ha! Sweet will make more than one wry face
when he comes to sit down to dinner. (_seeing his wife_) Why, Loo, I
am afraid you don't stay at home with a good grace.
MRS. SHORT. Oh don't say so, I am sure I am always delighted to be
with you--besides, it is no less a duty than (_in a lower tone_) a
pleasure to me.
SHORT. (_eating heartily all the while he is talking_) Now, I ask you
if we are not ten times better off comfortably at home here with a
good luncheon before us, than if we were jolting about on the backs of
those brutes, exposed all the while to the danger--why, my dear, you
are in a brown study.
MRS. SHORT. (_recollecting herself_) Eh! yes, certainly--what did you
say?
SHORT. Who is it they are going with?
MRS. SHORT. (_getting uneasy_) If you talk so much you'll spoil your
luncheon.
SHORT. Well, I don't know how it is but my appetite's beginning to
fail.
MRS. SHORT. (_bustling about the table to draw off his attention_)
Have a glass of sherry--here, let me pour some out for you. (_pours
out wine for him, and goes round to the R. of SHORT_)
SHORT. Well, I have rather a weakness for a glass of sherry. (_having
drank it_) Another. (_she pours out another--aside_) If Sweet could
but see me now! (_aloud_) What a nice little parlour maid you would
make, Loo--why you are prettier than ever! (_chucks her under the
chin, and takes her by the hand to draw her towards him_)
MRS. SHORT. (_with disinclination to meet his advance_) Oh, how cold
your hand is, (_breaking away from him, and running towards the bell,
L._) let me ring and tell them to light a fire for you.
SHORT. No, no, never mind. Come here, I want to talk to you. Pour me
out another glass of wine.
MRS. SHORT. (_observing him_) My dear! A third glass before dinner.
SHORT. Why not? It warms me and does me good--come, give me a buss.
(_drawing her towards him_)
MRS. SHORT. (_breaking away from him_) Oh! oh!
SHORT. Why, what one earth's the matter?