_Georgia Scenes, Characters, Incidents, &c. in the First Half Century
of the Republic. By a Native Georgian. Augusta, Georgia._
This book has reached us anonymously--not to say anomalously--yet it
is most heartily welcome. The author, whoever he is, is a clever
fellow, imbued with a spirit of the truest humor, and endowed,
moreover, with an exquisitely discriminative and penetrating
understanding of _character_ in general, and of Southern character in
particular. And we do not mean to speak of _human_ character
exclusively. To be sure, our Georgian is _au fait_ here too--he is
learned in all things appertaining to the biped without feathers. In
regard, especially, to that class of southwestern mammalia who come
under the generic appellation of "savagerous wild cats," he is a very
Theophrastus in duodecimo. But he is not the less at home in other
matters. Of geese and ganders he is the La Bruyere, and of
good-for-nothing horses the Rochefoucault.
Seriously--if this book were printed in England it would make the
fortune of its author. We positively mean what we say--and are quite
sure of being sustained in our opinion by all proper judges who may
be so fortunate as to obtain a copy of the "_Georgia Scenes_," and
who will be at the trouble of sifting their peculiar merits from amid
the _gaucheries_ of a Southern publication. Seldom--perhaps never in
our lives--have we laughed as immoderately over any book as over the
one now before us. If these _scenes_ have produced such effects upon
_our_ cachinnatory nerves--upon _us_ who are not "of the merry mood,"
and, moreover, have not been unused to the perusal of somewhat
similar things--we are at no loss to imagine what a hubbub they would
occasion in the uninitiated regions of Cockaigne. And what would
Christopher North say to them?--ah, what would Christopher North say?
that is the question. Certainly not a word. But we can fancy the
pursing up of his lips, and the long, loud, and jovial resonnation of
his wicked, and uproarious ha! ha's!
From the Preface to the Sketches before us we learn that although
they are, generally, nothing more than fanciful combinations of real
incidents and characters, still, in some instances, the narratives
are literally true. We are told also that the publication of these
pieces was commenced, rather more than a year ago, in one of the
Gazettes of the State, and that they were favorably received. "For
the last six months," says the author, "I have been importuned by
persons from all quarters of the State to give them to the public in
the present form." This speaks well for the Georgian taste. But that
the publication will _succeed_, in the bookselling sense of the word,
is problematical. Thanks to the long indulged literary supineness of
the South, her presses are not as apt in putting forth a _saleable_
book as her sons are in concocting a wise one.
{288} From a desire of concealing the author's name, two different
signatures, Baldwin and Hall, were used in the original _Sketches_,
and, to save trouble, are preserved in the present volume. With the
exception, however, of one scene, "The Company Drill," all the book
is the production of the same pen. The first article in the list is
"Georgia Theatrics." Our friend _Hall_, in this piece, represents
himself as ascending, about eleven o'clock in the forenoon of a June
day, "a long and gentle slope in what was called the Dark Corner of
Lincoln County, Georgia." Suddenly his ears are assailed by loud,
profane, and boisterous voices, proceeding, apparently, from a large
company of raggamuffins, concealed in a thick covert of undergrowth
about a hundred yards from the road.
"You kin, kin you?
"Yes I kin, and am able to do it! Boo-oo-oo-oo! Oh wake snakes and
walk your chalks! Brimstone and fire! Dont hold me Nick Stoval! The
fight's made up, and lets go at it--my soul if I dont jump down his
throat, and gallop every chitterling out of him before you can say
'quit!'
"Now Nick, dont hold him! Jist let the wild cat come, and I'll tame
him. Ned'll see me a fair fight--wont you Ned?
"Oh yes; I'll see you a fair fight, my old shoes if I dont.
"That's sufficient, as Tom Haynes said when he saw the Elephant. Now
let him come!" &c. &c. &c.
And now the sounds assume all the discordant intonations inseparable
from a Georgia "rough and tumble" fight. Our traveller listens in
dismay to the indications of a quick, violent, and deadly struggle.
With the intention of acting as pacificator, he dismounts in haste,
and hurries to the scene of action. Presently, through a gap in the
thicket, he obtains a glimpse of one, at least, of the combatants.
This one appears to have his antagonist beneath him on the ground,
and to be dealing on the prostrate wretch the most unmerciful blows.
Having overcome about half the space which separated him from the
combatants, our friend Hall is horror-stricken at seeing "the
uppermost make a heavy plunge with both his thumbs, and hearing, at
the same instant, a cry in the accent of keenest torture, 'Enough! My
eye's out!'"
Rushing to the rescue of the mutilated wretch the traveller is
surprised at finding that all the accomplices in the hellish deed
have fled at his approach--at least so he supposes, for none of them
are to be seen.
"At this moment," says the narrator, "the victor saw me for the first
time. He looked excessively embarrassed, and was moving off, when I
called to him in a tone emboldened by the sacredness of my office,
and the iniquity of his crime, 'come back, you brute! and assist me
in relieving your fellow mortal, whom you have ruined forever!' My
rudeness subdued his embarrassment in an instant; and with a taunting
curl of the nose, he replied; you need'nt kick before you're spurred.
There 'ant nobody there, nor ha'nt been nother. I was jist seein how
I could 'a' _fout_! So saying, he bounded to his plow, which stood in
the corner of the fence about fifty yards beyond the battle ground."
All that had been seen or heard was nothing more nor less than a
Lincoln rehearsal; in which all the parts of all the characters, of a
Georgian Court-House fight had been sustained by the youth of the
plough _solus_. The whole anecdote is told with a raciness and vigor
which would do honor to the pages of Blackwood.
The second Article is "The Dance, a Personal Adventure of the Author"
in which the oddities of a backwood reel are depicted with inimitable
force, fidelity and picturesque effect. "The Horse-swap" is a vivid
narration of an encounter between the wits of two Georgian
horse-jockies. This is most excellent in every respect--but
especially so in its delineations of Southern bravado, and the keen
sense of the ludicrous evinced in the portraiture of the steeds. We
think the following free and easy sketch of a _hoss_ superior, in
joint humor and verisimilitude, to any thing of the kind we have ever
seen.
"During this harangue, little Bullet looked as if he understood it
all, believed it, and was ready at any moment to verify it. He was a
horse of goodly countenance, rather expressive of vigilance than
fire; though an unnatural appearance of fierceness was thrown into
it, by the loss of his ears, which had been cropped pretty close to
his head. Nature had done but little for Bullet's head and neck, but
he managed in a great measure to hide their defects by bowing
perpetually. He had obviously suffered severely for corn; but if his
ribs and hip bones had not disclosed the fact he never would have
done it; for he was in all respects as cheerful and happy as if he
commanded all the corn cribs and fodder stacks in Georgia. His height
was about twelve hands; but as his shape partook somewhat of that of
the giraffe his haunches stood much lower. They were short, straight,
peaked, and concave. Bullet's tail, however, made amends for all his
defects. All that the artist could do to beautify it had been done;
and all that horse could do to compliment the artist, Bullet did. His
tail was nicked in superior style, and exhibited the line of beauty
in so many directions, that it could not fail to hit the most
fastidious taste in some of them. From the root it dropped into a
graceful festoon; then rose in a handsome curve; then resumed its
first direction; and then mounted suddenly upwards like a cypress
knee to a perpendicular of about two and a half inches. The whole had
a careless and bewitching inclination to the right. Bullet obviously
knew where his beauty lay, and took all occasions to display it to
the best advantage. If a stick cracked, or if any one moved suddenly
about him or coughed, or hawked, or spoke a little louder than
common, up went Bullet's tail like lightning; and if the _going up_
did not please, the _coming down_ must of necessity, for it was as
different from the other movement as was its direction. The first was
a bold and rapid flight upwards usually to an angle of forty five
degrees. In this position he kept his interesting appendage until he
satisfied himself that nothing in particular was to be done; when he
commenced dropping it by half inches, in second beats--then in triple
time--then faster and shorter, and faster and shorter still, until it
finally died away imperceptibly into its natural position. If I might
compare sights to sounds, I should say its _settling_ was more like
the note of a locust than any thing else in nature."
"The character of a Native Georgian" is amusing, but not so good as
the scenes which precede and succeed it. Moreover the character
described (a practical humorist) is neither very original, nor
appertaining exclusively to Georgia.
"The Fight" although involving some horrible and disgusting details
of southern barbarity is a sketch unsurpassed in dramatic vigor, and
in the vivid truth to nature of one or two of the personages
introduced. _Uncle Tommy Loggins_, in particular, an oracle in "rough
and tumbles," and Ransy Sniffle, a misshapen urchin "who in his
earlier days had fed copiously upon red clay and blackberries," and
all the pleasures of whose life concentre in a love of
fisticuffs--are both forcible, {289} accurate and original generic
delineations of real existences to be found sparsely in Georgia,
Mississippi and Louisiana, and very plentifully in our more remote
settlements and territories. This article would positively make the
fortune of any British periodical.
"The Song" is a burlesque somewhat overdone, but upon the whole a
good caricature of Italian bravura singing. The following account of
Miss Aurelia Emma Theodosia Augusta Crump's execution on the piano is
inimitable.
"Miss Crump was educated at Philadelphia; she had been taught to sing
by Madam Piggisqueaki, who was a pupil of Ma'm'selle Crokifroggietta,
who had sung with Madam Catalani; and she had taken lessons on the
piano, from Signor Buzzifuzzi, who had played with Paganini.
"She seated herself at the piano, rocked to the right, then to the
left,--leaned forward, then backward, and began. She placed her right
hand about midway the keys, and her left about two octaves below it.
She now put off the right in a brisk canter up the treble notes, and
the left after it. The left then led the way back, and the right
pursued it in like manner. The right turned, and repeated its first
movement; but the left outrun it this time, hopt over it, and flung
it entirely off the track. It came in again, however, behind the left
on its return, and passed it in the same style. They now became
highly incensed at each other, and met furiously on the middle
ground. Here a most awful conflict ensued, for about the space of ten
seconds, when the right whipped off, all of a sudden, as I thought,
fairly vanquished. But I was in the error, against which Jack
Randolph cautions us--'It had only fallen back to a stronger
position.' It mounted upon two black keys, and commenced the note of
a rattle-snake. This had a wonderful effect upon the left, and placed
the doctrine of snake charming beyond dispute. The left rushed
furiously towards it repeatedly, but seemed invariably panic struck,
when it came within six keys of it, and as invariably retired with a
tremendous roaring down the bass keys. It continued its assaults,
sometimes by the way of the naturals, sometimes by the way of the
sharps, and sometimes by a zigzag, through both; but all its attempts
to dislodge the right from its strong hold proving ineffectual, it
came close up to its adversary and expired."
The "_Turn Out_" is excellent--a second edition of Miss Edgeworth's
"Barring Out," and full of fine touches of the truest humor. The
scene is laid in Georgia, and in the good old days of _fescues_,
_abbiselfas_, and _anpersants_--terms in very common use, but whose
derivation we have always been at a loss to understand. Our author
thus learnedly explains the riddle.
"The _fescue_ was a sharpened wire, or other instrument, used by the
preceptor, to point out the letters to the children. _Abbiselfa_ is a
contraction of the words 'a, by itself, a.' It was usual, when either
of the vowels constituted a syllable of a word, to pronounce it, and
denote its independent character, by the words just mentioned, thus:
'a by itself _a_, c-o-r-n corn, _acorn_'--e by itself _e_, v-i-l vil,
evil. The character which stands for the word '_and_' (&) was
probably pronounced with the same accompaniment, but in terms
borrowed from the Latin language, thus: '& _per se_ (by itself) &.'
'Hence anpersant.'"
This whole story forms an admirable picture of school-boy democracy
in the woods. The _master_ refuses his pupils an Easter holiday; and
upon repairing, at the usual hour of the fatal day, to his school
house, "a log pen about twenty feet square," finds every avenue to
his ingress fortified and barricadoed. He advances, and is assailed
by a whole wilderness of sticks from the cracks. Growing desperate,
he seizes a fence rail, and finally succeeds in effecting an entrance
by demolishing the door. He is soundly flogged however for his pains,
and the triumphant urchins suffer him to escape with his life, solely
upon condition of their being allowed to do what they please as long
as they shall think proper.
"_The Charming Creature as a Wife_," is a very striking narrative of
the evils attendant upon an ill-arranged marriage--but as it has
nothing about it peculiarly Georgian, we pass it over without further
comment.
"_The Gander Pulling_" is a gem worthy, in every respect, of the
writer of "The Fight," and "The Horse Swap." What a "_Gander
Pulling_" is, however, may probably not be known by a great majority
of our readers. We will therefore tell them. It is a piece of
unprincipled barbarity not unfrequently practised in the South and
West. A circular horse path is formed of about forty or fifty yards
in diameter. Over this path, and between two posts about ten feet
apart, is extended a rope which, swinging loosely, vibrates in an arc
of five or six feet. From the middle of this rope, lying directly
over the middle of the path, a gander, whose neck and head are well
greased, is suspended by the feet. The distance of the fowl from the
ground is generally about ten feet--and its neck is consequently just
within reach of a man on horseback. Matters being thus arranged, and
the mob of vagabonds assembled, who are desirous of entering the
chivalrous lists of the "Gander Pulling," a hat is handed round, into
which a quarter or half dollar, as the case may be, is thrown by each
competitor. The money thus collected is the prize of the victor in
the game--and the game is thus conducted. The ragamuffins mounted on
horseback, gallop round the circle in Indian file. At a word of
command, given by the proprietor of the gander, the pulling, properly
so called, commences. Each villain as he passes under the rope, makes
a grab at the throat of the devoted bird--the end and object of the
tourney being to pull off his head. This of course is an end not
easily accomplished. The fowl is obstinately bent upon retaining his
caput if possible--in which determination he finds a powerful adjunct
in the grease. The rope, moreover, by the efforts of the human
devils, is kept in a troublesome and tantalizing state of vibration,
while two assistants of the proprietor, one at each pole, are
provided with a tough cowhide, for the purpose of preventing any
horse from making too long a sojourn beneath the gander. Many hours,
therefore, not unfrequently elapse before the contest is decided.
"_The Ball_"--a Georgia ball--is done to the life. Some passages, in
a certain species of sly humor, wherein intense observation of
character is disguised by simplicity of relation, put us forcibly in
mind of the Spectator. For example.
"When De Bathle and I reached the ball room, a large number of
gentlemen had already assembled. They all seemed cheerful and happy.
Some walked in couples up and down the ball room, and talked with
great volubility; but none of them understood a word that himself or
his companion said.
"Ah, sir, how do you know that?
"Because the speakers showed plainly by their looks and actions, that
their thoughts were running upon their own personal appearance, and
upon the figure they would cut before the ladies, when they should
arrive; and not upon the subject of the discourse. And furthermore,
their conversation was like that of {290} one talking in his
sleep--without order, sense, or connexion. The hearer always made the
speaker repeat in sentences and half sentences; often interrupting
him with 'what?' before he had proceeded three words in a remark; and
then laughed affectedly, as though he saw in the senseless unfinished
sentence, a most excellent joke. Then would come his reply, which
could not be forced into connexion with a word that he had heard; and
in the course of which he was treated with precisely the civility
which he had received. And yet they kept up the conversation with
lively interest as long as I listened to them."
"_The Mother and her Child_," we have seen before--but read it a
second time with zest. It is a laughable burlesque of the baby
'gibberish' so frequently made use of by mothers in speaking to their
children. This sketch evinces, like all the rest of the Georgia
scenes--a fine dramatic talent.
"_The Debating Society_" is the best thing in the book--and indeed
one among the best things of the kind we have ever read. It has all
the force and freedom of some similar articles in the Diary of a
Physician--without the evident straining for effect which so
disfigures that otherwise admirable series. We will need no apology
for copying _The Debating Society_ entire.
About three and twenty years ago, at the celebrated school in
W------n, was formed a Debating Society, composed of young gentlemen
between the ages of seventeen and twenty-two. Of the number were two,
who, rather from an uncommon volubility, than from any superior gifts
or acquirements, which they possessed over their associates, were by
common consent, placed at the head of the fraternity.--At least this
was true of one of them: the other certainly had higher claims to his
distinction. He was a man of the highest order of intellect, who,
though he has since been known throughout the Union, as one of the
ablest speakers in the country, seems to me to have added but little
to his powers in debate, since he passed his twenty-second year. The
name of the first, was Longworth; and McDermot was the name of the
last. They were congenial spirits, warm friends, and classmates, at
the time of which I am speaking.
It was a rule of the Society, that every member should speak upon the
subjects chosen for discussion, or pay a fine; and as all the members
valued the little stock of change, with which they were furnished,
more than they did their reputation for oratory, not a fine had been
imposed for a breach of this rule, from the organization of the
society to this time.
The subjects for discussion were proposed by the members, and
selected by the President, whose prerogative it was also to arrange
the speakers on either side, at his pleasure; though in selecting the
subjects, he was influenced not a little by the members who gave
their opinions freely of those which were offered.
It was just as the time was approaching, when most of the members
were to leave the society, some for college, and some for the busy
scenes of life, that McDermot went to share his classmate's bed for a
night. In the course of the evening's conversation, the society came
upon the tapis. "Mac," said Longworth, "would'nt we have rare sport,
if we could impose a subject upon the society, which has no sense in
it, and hear the members speak upon it?"
"Zounds," said McDermot, "it would be the finest fun in the world.
Let's try it at all events--we can lose nothing by the experiment."
A sheet of foolscap was immediately divided between them, and they
industriously commenced the difficult task of framing sentences,
which should possess the _form_ of a debateable question, without a
particle of the _substance_.--After an hour's toil, they at length
exhibited the fruits of their labor, and after some reflection, and
much laughing, they selected, from about thirty subjects proposed,
the following, as most likely to be received by the society:
"_Whether at public elections, should the votes of faction
predominate by internal suggestions or the bias of jurisprudence?_"
Longworth was to propose it to the society, and McDermot was to
advocate its adoption.--As they had every reason to suppose, from the
practice of the past, that they would be placed at the head of the
list of disputants, and on opposite sides, it was agreed between
them, in case the experiment should succeed, that they would write
off, and interchange their speeches, in order that each might quote
literally from the other, and thus _seem_ at least, to understand
each other.
The day at length came for the triumph or defeat of the project; and
several accidental circumstances conspired to crown it with success.
The society had entirely exhausted their subjects; the discussion of
the day had been protracted to an unusual length, and the horns of
the several boarding-houses began to sound, just as it ended. It was
at this auspicious moment, that Longworth rose, and proposed his
subject. It was caught at with rapture by McDermot, as being
decidedly the best that had ever been submitted; and he wondered that
none of the members had ever thought of it before.
It was no sooner proposed, than several members exclaimed, that they
did not understand it; and demanded an explanation from the mover.
Longworth replied, that there was no time then for explanations, but
that either himself or Mr. McDermot would explain it, at any other
time.
Upon the credit of the _maker_ and _endorser_, the subject was
accepted; and under pretence of economising time, (but really to
avoid a repetition of the question,) Longworth kindly offered to
record it, for the Secretary. This labor ended, he announced that he
was prepared for the arrangement of the disputants.
"Put yourself," said the President, "on the affirmative, and Mr.
McDermot on the negative."
"The subject," said Longworth "cannot well be resolved into an
affirmative and negative. It consists more properly, of two
conflicting affirmatives: I have therefore drawn out the heads, under
which the speakers are to be arranged thus:
_Internal Suggestions_. _Bias of Jurisprudence_.
Then put yourself Internal Suggestions--Mr. McDermot the other side,
Mr. Craig on your side--Mr. Pentigall the other side," and so on.
McDermot and Longworth now determined that they would not be seen by
any other member of the society during the succeeding week, except at
times when explanations could not be asked, or when they were too
busy to give them. Consequently, the week passed away, without any
explanations; and the members were summoned to dispose of the
important subject, with no other lights upon it than those which they
could collect from its terms. When they assembled, there was manifest
alarm on the countenances of all but two of them.
The Society was opened in due form, and Mr. Longworth was called on
to open the debate. He rose and proceeded as follows:
"_Mr. President_--The subject selected for this day's discussion, is
one of vast importance, pervading the profound depths of psychology,
and embracing within its comprehensive range, all that is interesting
in morals, government, law and politics. But, sir, I shall not follow
it through all its interesting and diversified ramifications; but
endeavor to deduce from it those great and fundamental principles,
which have direct bearing, upon the antagonist positions of the
disputants; confining myself more immediately to its psychological
influence when exerted, especially upon the _votes of faction_: for
here is the point upon which the question mainly turns. In the next
place, I shall consider the effects of those 'suggestions'
emphatically termed '_internal_' when applied to the same subject.
And in the third place, I shall compare these effects, with 'the bias
of jurisprudence,' considered as the only resort in times of popular
excitement--for these are supposed to exist by the very terms of the
question.
"The first head of this arrangement, and indeed the whole subject of
dispute, has already been disposed of by this society. We have
discussed the question, 'are there any innate maxims?' and with that
subject and this, there is such an intimate affinity, that it is
impossible to disunite them, without prostrating the vital energies
of both, and introducing the wildest disorder and confusion, where,
by the very nature of things, there exist the most harmonious
coincidences, and the most happy and euphonic congenialities. Here
then might I rest, Mr. President, upon the decision of this society,
with perfect confidence. But, sir, I am not forced to rely upon the
inseparable affinities of the two questions, for success in this
dispute, obvious as they must be to every reflecting mind. All
history, ancient and modern, furnish examples corroborative of the
views which I have taken of this deeply interesting subject. By what
means did the renowned poets, philosophers, orators and statesmen of
{291} antiquity, gain their immortality? Whence did Milton,
Shakspeare, Newton, Locke, Watts, Paley, Burke, Chatham, Pitt, Fox,
and a host of others whom I might name, pluck their never-fading
laurels? I answer boldly, and without the fear of contradiction,
that, though they all reached the temple of fame by different routes,
they all passed through the broad vista of '_internal suggestions_.'
The same may be said of Jefferson, Madison, and many other
distinguished personages of our own country.
"I challenge the gentlemen on the other side to produce examples like
these in support of their cause."
Mr. Longworth pressed these profound and logical views to a length to
which our limits will not permit us to follow him, and which the
reader's patience would hardly bear, if they would. Perhaps, however,
he will bear with us, while we give the conclusion of Mr. Longworth's
remarks: as it was here, that he put forth all his strength:
"_Mr. President_,--Let the bias of jurisprudence predominate, and how
is it possible, (considering it merely as extending to those impulses
which may with propriety be termed a _bias_,) how is it possible, for
a government to exist, whose object is the public good? The marble
hearted marauder might seize the throne of civil authority, and hurl
into thraldom the votaries of rational liberty. Virtue, justice and
all the nobler principles of human nature, would wither away under
the pestilential breath of political faction, and an unnerved
constitution be left to the sport of demagogue and parasite. Crash
after crash would be heard in quick succession, as the strong pillars
of the republic give way, and Despotism would shout in hellish
triumph amidst the crumbling ruins--Anarchy would wave her bloody
sceptre over the devoted land, and the blood-hounds of civil war,
would lap the crimson gore of our most worthy citizens. The shrieks
of women, and the screams of children, would be drowned amidst the
clash of swords, and the cannon's peal: and Liberty, mantling her
face from the horrid scene, would spread her golden-tinted pinions,
and wing her flight to some far distant land, never again to re-visit
our peaceful shores. In vain should we then sigh for the beatific
reign of those 'suggestions' which I am proud to acknowledge as
peculiarly and exclusively 'internal.'"
Mr. McDermot rose promptly at the call of the President, and
proceeded as follows:
"_Mr. President_,--If I listened unmoved to the very labored appeal
to the passions, which has just been made, it was not because I am
insensible to the powers of eloquence; but because I happen to be
blessed with the small measure of sense, which is necessary to
distinguish true eloquence from the wild ravings of an unbridled
imagination. Grave and solemn appeals, when ill-timed and misplaced,
are apt to excite ridicule; hence it was, that I detected myself more
than once, in open laughter, during the most pathetic parts of Mr.
Longworth's argument, if so it can be called.[1] In the midst of
'crashing pillars,' 'crumbling ruins,' 'shouting despotism,'
'screaming women,' and 'flying Liberty,' the question was perpetually
recurring to me, 'what has all this to do with the subject of
dispute?' I will not follow the example of that gentleman--It shall
be my endeavor to clear away the mist which he has thrown around the
subject, and to place it before the society, in a clear, intelligible
point of view: for I must say, that though his speech '_bears strong
marks of the pen_,' (sarcastically,) it has but few marks of sober
reflection. Some of it, I confess, is very intelligible and very
plausible; but most of it, I boldly assert, no man living can
comprehend. I mention this, for the edification of that gentleman,
(who is usually clear and forcible,) to teach him, that he is most
successful when he labors least.
[Footnote 1: This was extemporaneous, and well conceived; for Mr.
McDermot had not played his part with becoming gravity.]
"Mr. President: The gentleman, in opening the debate, stated that the
question was one of vast importance; pervading the profound depths of
_psychology_, and embracing, within its ample range, the whole circle
of arts and sciences. And really, sir, he has verified his statement;
for he has extended it over the whole moral and physical world. But,
Mr. President, I take leave to differ from the gentleman, at the very
threshhold of his remarks. The subject is one which is confined
within very narrow limits. It extends no further than to the elective
franchise, and is not even commensurate with this important
privilege; for it stops short at the _vote of faction_. In this point
of light, the subject comes within the grasp of the most common
intellect; it is plain, simple, natural and intelligible. Thus
viewing it, Mr. President, where does the gentleman find in it, or in
all nature besides, the original of the dismal picture which he has
presented to the society? It loses all its interest, and becomes
supremely ridiculous. Having thus, Mr. President, divested the
subject of all obscurity--having reduced it to those few elements,
with which we are all familiar; I proceed to make a few deductions
from the premises, which seem to me inevitable, and decisive of the
question. I lay it down as a self-evident proposition, that faction
in all its forms, is hideous; and I maintain, with equal confidence,
that it never has been, nor ever will be, restrained by those
suggestions, which the gentleman '_emphatically terms internal_.' No,
sir, nothing short of the bias, and the very strong bias too, of
jurisprudence or the potent energies of the sword, can restrain it.
But, sir, I shall here, perhaps, be asked, whether there is not a
very wide difference between a turbulent, lawless faction, and the
_vote_ of faction? Most unquestionably there is; and to this
distinction I shall presently advert and demonstrably prove that it
is a distinction, which makes altogether in our favor."
Thus did Mr. McDermot continue to dissect and expose his adversary's
argument, in the most clear, conclusive and masterly manner, at
considerable length. But we cannot deal more favorably by him, than
we have dealt by Mr. Longworth. We must, therefore, dismiss him,
after we shall have given the reader his concluding remarks. They
were as follows:
"Let us now suppose Mr. Longworth's principles brought to the test of
experiment. Let us suppose his language addressed to all mankind--We
close the temples of justice as useless; we burn our codes of laws as
worthless; and we substitute in their places, the more valuable
restraints of _internal suggestions_. Thieves, invade not your
neighbor's property: if you do, you will be arraigned before the
august tribunal of _conscience_. Robbers, stay your lawless hand; or
you will be visited with the tremendous penalties of _psychology_.
Murderers, spare the blood of your fellow creatures; you will be
exposed to the excruciating tortures of _innate maxims_--_when it
shall be discovered that there are any_. Mr. President, could there
be a broader license to crime than this? Could a better plan be
devised for dissolving the bands of civil society? It requires not
the gift of prophecy, to foresee the consequences of these novel and
monstrous principles. The strong would tyrannize over the weak; the
poor would plunder the rich; the servant would rise above the master;
the drones of society would fatten upon the hard earnings of the
industrious. Indeed, sir, industry would soon desert the land; for it
would have neither reward nor encouragement. Commerce would cease;
the arts and sciences would languish; all the sacred relations would
be dissolved, and scenes of havoc, dissolution and death ensue, such
as never before visited the world, and such as never will visit it,
until mankind learn to repose their destinies upon 'those
suggestions, _emphatically termed internal_.' From all these evils
there is a secure retreat behind the brazen wall of the 'bias of
jurisprudence.'"
The gentleman who was next called on to engage in the debate, was
John Craig; a gentleman of good hard sense, but who was utterly
incompetent to say a word upon a subject which he did not understand.
He proceeded thus:
"_Mr. President_,--When this subject was proposed, I candidly
confessed I did not understand it, and I was informed by Mr.
Longworth and Mr. McDermot, that either of them would explain it, at
any leisure moment. But, sir, they seem to have taken very good care,
from that time to this, to have no leisure moment. I have inquired of
both of them, repeatedly for an explanation; but they were always too
busy to talk about it. Well, sir, as it was proposed by Mr.
Longworth, I thought he would certainly explain it in his speech; but
I understood no more of his speech than I did of the subject. Well,
sir, I thought I should certainly learn something from Mr. McDermot;
especially as he promised at the commencement of his speech to clear
away the mist that Mr. Longworth had thrown about the subject, and to
place it in a clear, intelligible point of light. But, sir, the only
difference between his speech and Mr. Longworth's is, that it was not
quite as flighty as Mr. Longworth's. I could n't understand head nor
tail of it. At one time they seemed to argue the question, as if it
were this: 'Is it better to have law or no law?' At another, as
though it was, 'should factions be governed by law, or be left to
their own consciences?' But most of the time they argued it, as if it
were just what it seems to be--a sentence without sense or meaning.
But, sir, I suppose its {292} obscurity is owing to my dullness of
apprehension, for they appeared to argue it with great earnestness
and feeling, as if they understood it.
"I shall put my interpretation upon it, Mr. President, and argue it
accordingly.
"'_Whether at public elections_'--that is, for members of Congress,
members of the Legislature, &c. '_should the votes of faction_'--I
don't know what 'faction' has got to do with it; and therefore I
shall throw it out. '_Should the votes predominate, by internal
suggestions or the bias_,' I don't know what the _article_ is put in
here for. It seems to me, it ought to be, _be biased by_
'jurisprudence' or law. In short, Mr. President, I understand the
question to be, should a man vote as he pleases, or should the law
say how he should vote?"
Here Mr. Longworth rose and observed, that though Mr. Craig was on
his side, he felt it due to their adversaries, to state, that this
was not a true exposition of the subject. This exposition settled the
question at once on his side; for nobody would, for a moment contend,
that _the law_ should declare how men should vote. Unless it be
confined to the vote _of faction_ and _the_ bias of jurisprudence, it
was no subject at all. To all this Mr. McDermot signified his
unqualified approbation; and seemed pleased with the candor of his
opponent.
"Well," said Mr. Craig, "I thought it was impossible that any one
should propose such a question as that to the society; but will Mr.
Longworth tell us, if it does not mean that, what does it mean? for I
don't see what great change is made in it by his explanation."
Mr. Longworth replied, that if the remarks which he had just made,
and his argument, had not fully explained the subject to Mr. Craig,
he feared it would be out of his power to explain it.
"Then," said Mr. Craig, "I'll pay my fine, for I don't understand a
word of it."
The next one summoned to the debate was Mr. Pentigall. Mr. Pentigall
was one of those who would never acknowledge his ignorance of any
thing, which any person else understood; and that Longworth and
McDermot were both masters of the subject, was clear, both from their
fluency and seriousness. He therefore determined to understand it, at
all hazards. Consequently he rose at the President's command, with
considerable self-confidence. I regret, however, that it is
impossible to commit Mr. Pentigall's _manner_ to paper, without
which, his remarks lose nearly all their interest. He was a tall,
handsome man; a little theatric in his manner, rapid in his delivery,
and singular in his pronunciation. He gave to the _e_ and _i_, of our
language, the sound of _u_--at least his peculiar intonations of
voice, seemed to give them that sound; and his rapidity of utterance
seemed to change the termination, "_tion_" into "_ah_." With all his
peculiarities, however, he was a fine fellow. If he was ambitious, he
was not invidious, and he possessed an amicable disposition. He
proceeded as follows:
"_Mr. President_,--This internal suggestion which has been so
eloquently discussed by Mr. Longworth, and the bias of jurisprudence
which has been so ably advocated by Mr. McDermot--hem! Mr. President,
in order to fix the line of demarkation between--ah--the internal
suggestion and the bias of jurisprudence--Mr. President, I think,
sir, that--ah--the subject must be confined to the _vote of faction_,
and _the_ bias of jurisprudence"----
Here Mr. Pentigall clapt his right hand to his forehead, as though he
had that moment heard some overpowering news; and after maintaining
this position for about the space of ten seconds, he slowly withdrew
his hand, gave his head a slight inclination to the right, raised his
eyes to the President as if just awakening from a trance, and with a
voice of the most hopeless despair, concluded with "I don't
understand the subject, Muster Prusidunt."
The rest of the members on both sides submitted to be fined rather
than attempt the knotty subject; but by common consent, the penal
rule was dispensed with. Nothing now remained to close the exercises,
but the decision of the Chair.
The President, John Nuble, was a young man, not unlike Craig in his
turn of mind; though he possessed an intellect a little more
sprightly than Craig's. His decision was short.
"Gentlemen," said he, "I do not understand the subject. This,"
continued he, (pulling out his knife, and pointing to the silvered or
_cross_ side of it,) "is 'Internal Suggestions.' And this" (pointing
to the other, or _pile_ side,) "is 'Bias of Jurisprudence:'" so
saying, he threw up his knife, and upon its fall, determined that
'Internal Suggestions' had got it; and ordered the decision to be
registered accordingly.
It is worthy of note, that in their zeal to accomplish their purpose,
Longworth and McDermot forgot to destroy the lists of subjects, from
which they had selected the one so often mentioned; and one of these
lists containing the subject discussed, with a number more like it,
was picked up by Mr. Craig, who made a public exhibition of it,
threatening to arraign the conspirators before the society, for a
contempt. But, as the parting hour was at hand, he overlooked it with
the rest of the brotherhood, and often laughed heartily at the trick.
"_The Militia Company Drill_," is not by the author of the other
pieces but has a strong family resemblance, and is very well
executed. Among the innumerable descriptions of Militia musters which
are so rife in the land, we have met with nothing at all equal to
this in the matter of broad farce.
"_The Turf_" is also capital, and bears with it a kind of dry and
sarcastic morality which will recommend it to many readers.
"_An Interesting Interview_" is another specimen of exquisite
dramatic talent. It consists of nothing more than a fac-simile of the
speech, actions, and _thoughts_ of two drunken old men--but its air
of truth is perfectly inimitable.
"_The Fox-Hunt_," "_The Wax Works_," and "_A Sage Conversation_," are
all good--but neither _as_ good as many other articles in the book.
"_The Shooting Match_," which concludes the volume, may rank with the
best of the Tales which precede it. As a portraiture of the manners
of our South-Western peasantry, in especial, it is perhaps better
than any.
Altogether this very humorous, and very clever book forms an æra in
our reading. It has reached us per mail, and without a cover. We will
have it bound forthwith, and give it a niche in our library as a sure
omen of better days for the literature of the South.