HOW THE PRETTY MAID OF PORTILLON CONVINCED HER JUDGE

The Maid of Portillon, who became as everyone knows, La Tascherette,

was, before she became a dyer, a laundress at the said place of

Portillon, from which she took her name. If any there be who do not

know Tours, it may be as well to state that Portillon is down the

Loire, on the same side as St. Cyr, about as far from the bridge which

leads to the cathedral of Tours as said bridge is distant from

Marmoustier, since the bridge is in the centre of the embankment

between Portillon and Marmoustier. Do you thoroughly understand?

Yes? Good! Now the maid had there her washhouse, from which she ran to

the Loire with her washing in a second and took the ferry-boat to get

to St. Martin, which was on the other side of the river, for she had

to deliver the greater part of her work in Chateauneuf and other

places.

About Midsummer day, seven years before marrying old Taschereau, she

had just reached the right age to be loved, without making a choice

from any of the lads who pursued her with their intentions. Although

there used to come to the bench under her window the son of Rabelais,

who had seven boats on the Loire, Jehan’s eldest, Marchandeau the

tailor, and Peccard the ecclesiastical goldsmith, she made fun of them

all, because she wished to be taken to church before burthening

herself with a man, which proves that she was an honest woman until

she was wheedled out of her virtue. She was one of those girls who

take great care not to be contaminated, but who, if by chance they get

deceived, let things take their course, thinking that for one stain or

for fifty a good polishing up is necessary. These characters demand

our indulgence.

A young noble of the court perceived her one day when she was crossing

the water in the glare of the noonday sun, which lit up her ample

charms, and seeing her, asked who she was. An old man, who was working

on the banks, told him she was called the Pretty Maid of Portillon, a

laundress, celebrated for her merry ways and her virtue. This young

lord, besides ruffles to starch, had many precious draperies and

things; he resolved to give the custom of his house to this girl, whom

he stopped on the road. He was thanked by her and heartily, because he

was the Sire du Fou, the king’s chamberlain. This encounter made her

so joyful that her mouth was full of his name. She talked about it a

great deal to the people of St. Martin, and when she got back to the

washhouse was still full of it, and on the morrow at her work her

tongue went nineteen to the dozen, and all on the same subject, so

that as much was said concerning my Lord du Fou in Portillon as of God

in a sermon; that is, a great deal too much.

“If she works like that in cold water, what will she do in warm?” said

an old washerwoman. “She wants du Fou; he’ll give her du Fou!”

The first time this giddy wench, with her head full of Monsieur du

Fou, had to deliver the linen at his hotel, the chamberlain wished to

see her, and was very profuse in praises and compliments concerning

her charms, and wound up by telling her that she was not at all silly

to be beautiful, and therefore he would give her more than she

expected. The deed followed the word, for the moment his people were

out of the room, he began to caress the maid, who thinking he was

about to take out the money from his purse, dared not look at the

purse, but said, like a girl ashamed to take her wages--

“It will be for the first time.”

“It will be soon,” said he.

Some people say that he had great difficulty in forcing her to accept

what he offered her, and hardly forced her at all; others that he

forced her badly, because she came out like an army flagging on the

route, crying and groaning, and came to the judge. It happened that

the judge was out. La Portillone awaited his return in his room,

weeping and saying to the servant that she had been robbed, because

Monseigneur du Fou had given her nothing but his mischief; whilst a

canon of the Chapter used to give her large sums for that which M. du

Fou wanted for nothing. If she loved a man she would think it wise to

do things for him for nothing, because it would be a pleasure to her;

but the chamberlain had treated her roughly, and not kindly and

gently, as he should have done, and that therefore he owed her the

thousand crowns of the canon. Then the judge came in, saw the wench,

and wished to kiss her, but she put herself on guard, and said she had

come to make a complaint. The judge replied that certainly she could

have the offender hanged if she liked, because he was most anxious to

serve her. The injured maiden replied that she did not wish the death

of her man, but that he should pay her a thousand gold crowns, because

she had been robbed against her will.

“Ha! ha!” said the judge, “what he took was worth more than that.”

“For the thousand crowns I’ll cry quits, because I shall be able to

live without washing.”

“He who has robbed you, is he well off?”

“Oh yes.”

“Then he shall pay dearly for it. Who is it?”

“Monseigneur du Fou.”

“Oh, that alters the case,” said the judge.

“But justice?” said she.

“I said the case, not the justice of it,” replied the judge. “I must

know how the affair occurred.”

Then the girl related naively how she was arranging the young lord’s

ruffles in his wardrobe, when he began to play with her skirt, and she

turned round saying--

“Go on with you!”

“You have no case,” said the judge, “for by that speech he thought

that you gave him leave to go on. Ha! ha!”

Then she declared that she had defended herself, weeping and crying

out, and that that constitutes an assault.

“A wench’s antics to incite him,” said the judge.

Finally, La Portillone declared that against her will she had been

taken round the waist and thrown, although she had kicked and cried

and struggled, but that seeing no help at hand, she had lost courage.

“Good! good!” said the judge. “Did you take pleasure in the affair?”

“No,” said she. “My anguish can only be paid for with a thousand

crowns.”

“My dear,” said the judge, “I cannot receive your complaint, because I

believe no girl could be thus treated against her will.”

“Hi! hi! hi! Ask your servant,” said the little laundress, sobbing,

“and hear what she’ll tell you.”

The servant affirmed that there were pleasant assaults and unpleasant

ones; that if La Portillone had received neither amusement nor money,

either one or the other was due to her. This wise counsel threw the

judge into a state of great perplexity.

“Jacqueline,” said he, “before I sup I’ll get to the bottom of this.

Now go and fetch my needle and the red thread that I sew the law paper

bags with.”

Jacqueline came back with a big needle, pierced with a pretty little

hole, and a big red thread, such as the judges use. Then she remained

standing to see the question decided, very much disturbed, as was also

the complainant at these mysterious preparations.

“My dear,” said the judge, “I am going to hold the bodkin, of which

the eye is sufficiently large, to put this thread into it without

trouble. If you do put it in, I will take up your case, and will make

Monseigneur offer you a compromise.”

“What’s that?” said she. “I will not allow it.”

“It is a word used in justice to signify an agreement.”

“A compromise is then agreeable with justice?” said La Portillone.

“My dear, this violence has also opened your mind. Are you ready?”

“Yes,” said she.

The waggish judge gave the poor nymph fair play, holding the eye

steady for her; but when she wished to slip in the thread that she had

twisted to make straight, he moved a little, and the thread went on

the other side. She suspected the judge’s argument, wetted the thread,

stretched it, and came back again. The judge moved, twisted about, and

wriggled like a bashful maiden; still this cursed thread would not

enter. The girl kept trying at the eye, and the judge kept fidgeting.

The marriage of the thread could not be consummated, the bodkin

remained virgin, and the servant began to laugh, saying to La

Portillone that she knew better how to endure than to perform. Then

the roguish judge laughed too, and the fair Portillone cried for her

golden crowns.

“If you don’t keep still,” cried she, losing patience; “if you keep

moving about I shall never be able to put the thread in.”

“Then, my dear, if you had done the same, Monseigneur would have been

unsuccessful too. Think, too, how easy is the one affair, and how

difficult the other.”

The pretty wench, who declared she had been forced, remained

thoughtful, and sought to find a means to convince the judge by

showing how she had been compelled to yield, since the honour of all

poor girls liable to violence was at stake.

“Monseigneur, in order that the bet made the fair, I must do exactly

as the young lord did. If I had only had to move I should be moving

still, but he went through other performances.”

“Let us hear them,” replied the judge.

Then La Portillone straightens the thread, and rubs it in the wax of

the candle, to make it firm and straight; then she looked towards the

eye of the bodkin, held by the judge, slipping always to the right or

to the left. Then she began making endearing little speeches, such as,

“Ah, the pretty little bodkin! What a pretty mark to aim at! Never did

I see such a little jewel! What a pretty little eye! Let me put this

little thread into it! Ah, you will hurt my poor thread, my nice

little thread! Keep still! Come, my love of a judge, judge of my love!

Won’t the thread go nicely into this iron gate, which makes good use

of the thread, for it comes out very much out of order?” Then she

burst out laughing, for she was better up in this game than the judge,

who laughed too, so saucy and comical and arch was she, pushing the

thread backwards and forwards. She kept the poor judge with the case

in his hand until seven o’clock, keeping on fidgeting and moving about

like a schoolboy let loose; but as La Portillone kept on trying to put

the thread in, he could not help it. As, however, his joint was

burning, and his wrist was tired, he was obliged to rest himself for a

minute on the side of the table; then very dexterously the fair maid

of Portillon slipped the thread in, saying--

“That’s how the thing occurred.”

“But my joint was burning.”

“So was mine,” said she.

The judge, convinced, told La Portillone that he would speak to

Monseigneur du Fou, and would himself carry the affair through, since

it was certain the young lord had embraced her against her will, but

that for valid reasons he would keep the affair dark. On the morrow

the judge went to the Court and saw Monseigneur du Fou, to whom he

recounted the young woman’s complaint, and how she had set forth her

case. This complaint lodged in court, tickled the king immensely.

Young du Fou having said that there was some truth in it, the king

asked if he had had much difficulty, and as he replied, innocently,

“No,” the king declared the girl was quite worth a hundred gold

crowns, and the chamberlain gave them to the judge, in order not to be

taxed with stinginess, and said the starch would be a good income to

La Portillone. The judge came back to La Portillone, and said,

smiling, that he had raised a hundred gold crowns for her. But if she

desired the balance of the thousand, there were at that moment in the

king’s apartments certain lords who, knowing the case, had offered to

make up the sum for her, with her consent. The little hussy did not

refuse this offer, saying, that in order to do no more washing in the

future she did not mind doing a little hard work now. She gratefully

acknowledged the trouble the good judge had taken, and gained her

thousand crowns in a month. From this came the falsehoods and jokes

concerning her, because out of these ten lords jealousy made a

hundred, whilst, differently from young men, La Portillone settled

down to a virtuous life directly she had her thousand crowns. Even a

Duke, who would have counted out five hundred crowns, would have found

this girl rebellious, which proves she was niggardly with her

property. It is true that the king caused her to be sent for to his

retreat of Rue Quinquangrogne, on the mall of Chardonneret, found her

extremely pretty, exceedingly affectionate, enjoyed her society, and

forbade the sergeants to interfere with her in any way whatever.

Seeing she was so beautiful, Nicole Beaupertuys, the king’s mistress,

gave her a hundred gold crowns to go to Orleans, in order to see if

the colour of the Loire was the same there as at Portillon. She went

there, and the more willingly because she did not care very much for

the king. When the good man came who confessed the king in his last

hours, and was afterwards canonised, La Portillone went to him to

polish up her conscience, did penance, and founded a bed in the

leper-house of St. Lazare-aux-Tours. Many ladies whom you know have

been assaulted by more than two lords, and have founded no other beds

than those in their own houses. It is as well to relate this fact, in

order to cleanse the reputation of this honest girl, who herself once

washed dirty things, and who afterwards became famous for her clever

tricks and her wit. She gave a proof of her merit in marrying

Taschereau, who she cuckolded right merrily, as has been related in the

story of The Reproach. This proves to us most satisfactorily that with

strength and patience justice itself can be violated.

Droll Stories — Complete Collected from the Abbeys of Touraine · 第 60 / 68 题