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[Illustration: HOPE FOR ALL.
_"Coach" (to Volatile Pupil)._ "ARE YOU AT THEOREM B OR C, MR.
TITTERBY?"
_Mr. T._ "T' TELL Y' TH' TRUTH, SIR, I'M 'AT SEA'--AT SEA,
SIR,--COMPLETELY." [_Chuckles._ (_He turned out an utter failure, was
plucked at College, and had to take to ART-CRITICISM!_)]
* * * * *
"MARGARINE."
(_A Middleman's Lament._)
"For the protection of the public, all consignments of the spurious
compound that has hitherto, under the title of 'Butterine,' passed
current in the market for genuine butter, will in future be
distinctly labelled and known as 'Margarine.'"--_Trade
Intelligence._
Ah! tell me not they've changed thy name,
So long a sweet decoy,
By which I've made my little game,
And palmed off thy alloy.
Of chemicals and horses' fat,
And things not nice or clean,
You were composed; but what of that?--
You looked like butter in the pat.
Why call you "Margarine"?
Ah! why the public undeceive?
They bought thee with a will,
And in thy virtues so believe
That they would buy thee still!
Why have such meddling measures framed
By legislation mean?
Alas! thy origin's proclaimed;
No more with butter art thou named,
But henceforth "Margarine"!
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