CLEAR AS CRYSTAL; OR, ALL ABOUT IT.

_Interior of a Railway Carriage on a Suburban Line._ Well-Informed

Politicians _discovered discussing question of the hour_.

_First Well-Informed Politician (summing up the situation with

confidence)._ Well, that's how it stands. DRUMMOND WOLFF has telegraphed

to say that the thing's no go, and that he can't get 'em to sign. So he

has put the Convention into his pocket, and is coming home as fast as

his legs can carry him.

_Second Well-Informed Politician (tentatively)._ Pardon me, but I don't

think it has quite come to that, has it? He was to have left, but the

SULTAN, you know, asked him to wait for an audience, or something of

that sort. I saw something about it just now in the paper. [_Hunts up

and down the columns of the "Times" vaguely._

_Third Well-Informed Politician._ O yes, I know what you mean. Here;

it's here. (_Produces "Standard."_) Ha! this is it. (_Reads._) "Sir H.

D. WOLFF was to have left yesterday, but having asked an audience to

take leave, and the SULTAN not having named a day for it, his departure

has been postponed."

_Second Well-Informed Politician._ Yes, that's it. (_Addressing_ First

Well-Informed Politician _with more assurance_.) You see there's

evidently a chance of further negotiation. I shouldn't be surprised to

hear that the thing was settled yet.

_First Well-Informed Politician (with warmth)._ Stuff, Sir--there'll be

no settlement--and a precious good job too! Who wants any Convention?

Not England. No, we're well out of it, and, what's more, SALISBURY knows

it.

_Third Well-Informed Politician._ You quite surprise me. Surely Lord

SALISBURY had set his heart on the signing of the Convention.

_Second Well-Informed Politician._ Oh yes, I'm sure of that. Why, I've

just been reading it--in the Vienna Correspondence, I think it was.

Where was it? [_Again commences a vague hunt up and down the columns of

the "Times."_

_First Well-Informed Politician._ Nonsense--I don't care what the

"Vienna Correspondence" says. Tells a pack of lies, I'll be bound. I

tell you SALISBURY'S no fool, and he knows when he has got a free hand.

_Third Well-Informed Politician (slightly bewildered)._ But I thought

the Convention, don't you know, did give him a free hand--at least, a

sort of a free hand--that's to say, that's the way I took it.

_Second Well-Informed Politician (brightly)._ Of course. Why that's the

reason France and Russia put the screw on the SULTAN.

_First Well-Informed Politician._ France and Russia put the screw on!

Stuff, Sir! Who cares for France and Russia? SALISBURY knows a trick or

two worth any game they can play.

_Fourth Well-Informed Politician (who has been waiting his chance,

putting down the "Daily News")._ I don't suppose _this_ country will

play any game, at all events, till the Grand Old Man's in again.

_First Well-Informed Politician (hotly)._ What! The Grand Old----! Why,

Sir, what do you mean? Why it's he who's responsible for every blessed

muddle and mess, including this Egyptian business, that has overtaken

the country for the last twenty years. Bless my soul, Sir, I can't

understand your having the face to put forward such an opinion.

_Fourth Well-Informed Politician (doggedly)._ Oh, you may bluster, but

you won't change my view of things, I can tell you. GLADSTONE'S the man

for Egypt, and for everything else.

_First Well-Informed Politician (boiling over)._ Confound it, Sir. Do

you wish to insult me. I'll tell you what it is, Sir, I'll----I'll----

[_Left throwing more light on the situation as scene closes in._

* * * * *

Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 93, July 23, 1887. · 第 13 / 25 题