[Illustration]
In days of old in Hatfield halls,
They feasted late and early,
The grave Lord Keeper led the brawls,
And danced beside Lord BURLEIGH.
The stars of great ELIZA'S reign,
Were seen in all their glory,
Smart ESSEX girt with golden chain,
And RALEIGH known to story.
'Tis said that 'neath a Hatfield Oak,
ELIZABETH was sitting,
When courtiers hastened there and spoke,
In lowly tones, befitting
The mighty message that they bore;
There, where the leaves waved o'er her,
They hailed her QUEEN from shore to shore,
And humbly bowed before her.
And now another QUEEN has gone
Where Hatfield lawns are shady;
The ancient oaks have looked upon,
Another gracious Lady.
Once more a CECIL plays the host,
And bows in Royal presence;
What wonder if Queen BESS'S ghost,
Looked down upon the pleasance.
The past and present seem to meet,
In those historic portals;
Methinks our modern Statesmen greet,
ELIZABETH'S immortals.
And, as the phantoms fade away,
While bells clash from the steeple,
They cry, "Long live VICTORIA,
To bless her loving people!"
* * * * *
VERY ANNOYING.--Just when everything was going along so smoothly, just
when the Jubilee police arrangements had been so successful as to
warrant a tribute from Chief Commissioner _Punch_, and a recognition
from Londoners generally, to have these police difficulties suddenly
sprung upon Sir CHARLES WARREN was enough to drive him wild,--enough to
make him a rabid WARREN. But he has taken the right course, and much
good will come out of all this trouble. Cheer up, Sir CHARLES! Anyhow
_you_ are not in for a CASS-tigation.
* * * * *
ON Messrs. RICHARD BENTLEY AND SONS' list of books appears _Mr. Hissey's
Journeys in England_. What an unpleasant visitor, if he is only true to
the name of HISSEY, and makes the tour of the Theatres in London and the
provinces. Managers, beware!
* * * * *
"MY LAWYER."
[Crown 8vo., 6_s._ 6_d._, MY LAWYER: A Concise Abridgment of, and
Popular Guide to, the Laws of England. By a Barrister-at-Law.]
Who was it, when I thought I saw
In something I had signed a flaw,
Gave me my first distaste for law?
My Lawyer.
Who, when into his hands I fell,
As I my grievance tried to tell,
Around me wove some fatal spell?
My Lawyer.
Who from my mind at once all trace
Of doubt and fear did quite efface,
And made me think I had a "case"?
My Lawyer.
Who of all obstacles made light,
And, whether I was wrong or right,
Insisted that I ought to fight?
My Lawyer.
Who, as I saw the costs increase,
And wished to come to terms of peace,
Declined to let the turmoil cease?
My Lawyer.
Who daily plagued me more and more,
And every time I passed his door
Charged me straight off thirteen-and-four?
My Lawyer.
Who, liking not his little games,
When I resolved to waive my claims,
Quick added fuel to the flames?
My Lawyer.
Who, though some compromise I sought,
And did not wish the matter fought,
Before a jury had it brought?
My Lawyer.
Who, though at last I got enraged,
The battle still more stoutly waged,
And leading Counsel, three, engaged?
My Lawyer.
Who, when, of course, my case went wrong,
Because it wasn't worth a song,
Sent in a bill twelve pages long?
My Lawyer.
And who, now that I'm wiser grown,
And to this book for aid have flown,
Would still on me inflict his own?
My Lawyer.
Yet now, spite all his legal tricks,
Henceforth this work, price six-and-six,
Shall promptly be, in every fix,
My Lawyer.
* * * * *
[Illustration: "WHAT'S THE NEXT FASHION?"
"Varium et mutabile semper
Foemina."
_Madame France._ "I WONDER WHICH WILL SUIT ME BEST, AFTER ALL. I'M
BEGINNING TO BE TIRED OF THIS."]
* * * * *