have the money and the girl--she is not bad-looking, and will pass
muster when clipped and curry-combed--I kick the rest over.'
'Well, I wish you joy.'
Captain Trecarrel next consulted his banker, and found that the money
world was shy of Ophir, and held Tramplara in much the same esteem as
did the legal world.
'Who are the directors of the company?' asked the banker.
'There is a provisional list,' answered Trecarrel. 'Old Tramplara tried
hard to get me on to it, but vainly is the trap set in the sight of the
bird. Here is the prospectus. You see the names: Sampson Trampleasure,
of Dolbeare, Launceston, Esq., Arundell Golitho of Trevorgan, Esq., the
Rev. Israel Flamank, and some others of no greater importance. I have
Tramplara's own copy, that is to say, one he favoured me with, and, as
you see, he has pencilled in a few more names. Here is Mr. Battishill
of West Wyke, the owner of the estate, but whether he is already a
director, or only a possible director, I do not know.'
'Who is Arundell Golitho, Esq., and where is Trevorgan?'
'Never heard of the man, nor of the place.'
When Captain Trecarrel got off the coach, he saw Herring waiting for the
coach, to intrust the diamond pendant to the coachman for transmission
to Mirelle.
'Halloo! you here?' exclaimed the Captain; 'I thought you lived at the
extremity of the known world, at Boscastle.'
'So I do; but I am here starting a mine.'
'Not a director of Ophir, eh?' asked Trecarrel, eagerly, his blue eyes
lighting up.
'No, I am not so ambitious as to embark in gold, I content myself with
lead; but if my lead mine promises less than Ophir, its performance, I
trust, will be more sure.'
'Ah,' responded Trecarrel, dismally, 'you are bitten with the prevailing
distrust. I presume you have not taken shares in Ophir.'
'No; have you?'
'I am going to take a big share in the concern. I marry the Queen of
Sheba. Herring, I say, is there a public house near where I can get a
chop? I am hungry and wretched. Come with me for charity's sake and
let us have a talk together about this same Ophir. I want your opinion;
and look here, I have old Tramplara's list of directors, and on it in
pencil is the name of Squire Battishill of West Wyke. He is a
respectable man, is he not? You know him.'
'Yes; I am staying with him.'
'What sort of a man is he?'
'A gentleman every inch,--honourable and true.'
'Oh yes, I don't mean that. They be all honourable men, especially the
Hon. Lawless Lascar, who figures on the list. Is he a man of fortune?
If Ophir goes "scatt," as they say here, is there property on which the
shareholders can come down?'
'Mr. Battishill is certainly not a director.'
'He is pencilled down as one, at all events, and pencilled by Tramplara
himself. Tell me, is there a decent inn hereabouts?'
'There is a very tolerable inn in Zeal, if you do not mind descending a
steep hill to reach it--the Oxenham Arms.'
'Come with me.'
Zeal is a quaint village of one street, that street being the high road
from Exeter to Launceston. Since the time of which we treat the high
road has been carried by a new line above the village, which has been
left on one side forgotten, and has gone quietly to sleep. In the midst
of the street stands a small chapel built of granite, and before it an
old granite cross mounted on several steps. The houses are of 'cob,'
that is, clay, white-washed and thatched, with projecting chambers over
the doorways resting on oak posts or granite pillars. Below the chapel
stood the stately mansion of the Burgoynes facing the road, with vaulted
porch, mullioned windows, and sculptured doorways. The Burgoyne family
has gone, and now there swings over the entrance a board adorned with
the arms of the Oxenham family. The manor-house has descended to become
the village inn.
Into this inn, clean, but humble in its pretensions, Herring introduced
the Captain.
'I say, girl,' called Trecarrel to the maid, 'throw on some logs; the
turf only smoulders. And bring me some hot water and rum. I am cold and
damp, and altogether dispirited and drooping. Let me have a steak as
soon as you can.' Then to Herring: 'I am put out confoundedly. Ophir
will not digest. Tell me candidly your opinion.'
'You are not treating me fairly,' said Herring. 'You have no right to
ask me this question when you are about to become closely allied to Mr.
Trampleasure----'
'Oh, confound Tramplara. I am not going to marry him, nor his sniffing
wife, nor his cub of a son, heaven be praised! nor, better than all,
Ophir. Nevertheless I want to know something about Ophir, for though I
am going to be allied to the family, I do not want to be linked by so
ever small a link to a concern that may smash, least of all to one that
is not exactly on the square. What do you make out about the gold
mine?'
'It puzzles me. I have been over it and seen the gold dust washed out
of the gozzen.'
'So have I.'
'And yet I am not satisfied.'
'Nor am I.'
'In the first place, I mistrust the way in which Ophir has been puffed
and brought into the market.'
'I do not believe a word about the Phoenicians,' said the Captain.
'Again,' Herring went on, 'who have taken the mine in hand?'
'That I can tell you. There is Arundell Golitho, Esq. of Trevorgan. Do
you know him? You are a Cornish man, bred in its deepest wilds. Does
he hail from your parts?'
'Never heard of him.'
'Nor has any one else, that I can learn. Then there is the Reverend
Israel Flamank, but he counts for nothing. He is a crack-brained
preacher, not worth a thousand pounds, and every penny he has he has
sunk in Ophir.'
'Here is another: the Honourable Lawless Lascar. Who is he?'
'I have heard about him from my lawyer in Exeter,' said Trecarrel.
'Lends his name to rickety ventures for a consideration, and when
wanted, not at home.'
'And Colonel Headlong Wiggles?'
'Colonel Headlong is a man who has not been happy in matrimonial
matters--I mean, has been exceptionally unhappy; this would not concern
us were it not that it has cost him a good deal of money. He has been
endeavouring to recover moral tone lately by taking up vigorously with
Temperance, and he has become rather a prominent orator on Total
Abstinence platforms. He has lately edited a revised New Testament in
which the miracle of Cana has been accommodated to Temperance views--the
wine in his version is turned into water.'
'That is all.'
'Except those added in pencil. I do not like the looks of the board of
directors. Tell me, Herring, have you any suspicion of trickery?'
Herring hesitated. He had, but he was without grounds to justify the
open expression of his suspicion.
'By George!' exclaimed Captain Trecarrel, 'if I thought it were not on
the square, I would break off my engagement. I inherit a respectable, I
may say an honourable, name, and I do not choose that the name of
Trecarrel should be trailed in the mire. The thing cannot last long
without declaring its nature. If the gozzen that is crushed yields as
much gold daily as I have seen extracted at one washing, then the
dividends will begin to run. The working of the mine does not entail a
heavy outlay. There are not many men on it.'
'Very few indeed.'
'And the machinery is not enormously expensive, I suppose.'
'No.'
'Then, why the deuce did Tramplara make a company of the concern, and
call for shares? If he had been sanguine, he might have worked it
himself, and made his fortune in a twelvemonth.'
'Another thing that makes me suspicious,' said Herring, 'is that the
lease is only for a year.'
'For a year!' exclaimed the Captain, and whistled. 'Then be sure
Tramplara will blow Ophir up before the twelvemonth has elapsed. If he
had been sure of gold, he would have taken a lease for ninety-nine
years. I will have nothing to do with the family. I will put off the
marriage. Listen to this, Herring. I carried off all the bits of stone
I could from the auriferous vein of quartz, and I crushed them myself.
I borrowed a hammer from a roadmaker, for which I paid him fourpence,
and I pounded them, and then washed the crumbled mass in my basin, and
not a trace of gold could I discover.'
'That proves nothing. You could hardly expect to find the precious
metal in a few nubbs you conveyed away in your coat pocket.'
'There ought to have been indications of gold. I should not have minded
had I found as much as a pin's point. No! I believe Ophir to be a
swindle, but how the swindling is done passes my comprehension.'
He sat looking into the fire, and kicking the logs with the toe of his
boot. Then he threw himself back in his chair.
'I shall go to bed, Herring,' he said, 'and I shall stick there till
there is a clearing in the air over Ophir. I am not going to be married
whilst the cloud broods heavily. I shall go to bed.'
'Go to bed!' echoed Herring. 'It is early still.'
'I always go to bed when I want to get out of a difficulty. Old
Tramplara is not far off, and he can come and see me. Young Sampson can
come and see me also; but I defy both of them to get me out of my bed
and into my breeches and blue coat against my pleasure. The marriage
must be postponed.'
'Nonsense. You cannot do this.'
'I shall. I have got out of a score of difficulties by this means.
There I stick till things have come round. My dear Herring, there is no
power in the world equal to _non possumus_.'
'But what of the lady's feelings?'
'Oh, blow the lady's feelings!' said Trecarrel, coarsely. 'Ladies'
feelings are superficial; that is why they are so sensitive about dress.
Men's feelings lie deep; they line their pockets. Orange is a good
girl; but she won't feel, or, if she does, she will rather like it.
Women like to have their feelings fretted, just as cats like having
their backs scratched. Orange can come and see me in bed, and nurse me,
if she chooses. Polly!' he called to the maid of the inn, 'get your
best bedroom ready, and the sheets and blankets and featherbed well
aired. I am going to retire for a week or ten days between the sheets.'
Herring burst out laughing.
'This is no laughing matter,' said Trecarrel, testily. 'I would not go
to bed unless I could help it; but, upon my life, I do not see any other
mode of escape. You will come and see me sometimes, old fellow, for
time will drag.'
'Certainly I will; but what will you say to the Tramplaras?--to Miss
Orange?'
'Say--say! why, that I am indisposed. That will be strictly within the
bounds of truth, and what is consistent with a gentleman to say.
Indisposed--the word was coined for my case. I'll send to Tramplara
himself, and get it over as soon as I am in bed.'
'You are joking.'
'I am perfectly serious. I have cause to be so. I am, or was, not so
very far from my marriage day, and I do not relish the prospect. Bring
old Tramplara here. When he sees me embedded and indisposed to rise, he
will grow uneasy and the money will be forthcoming. I have no doubt in
the world that he is meditating a trick upon me. He is wonderfully
clever; but he met his equal in the matter of the Patagonians--I'll tell
you all about them some day. Herring, by some infernal blunder I was
pricked as sheriff of the county one year. It was supposed that I was
worth about five times my actual income. I could not endure the cost of
office, and I did not want to pay the fine for refusal, so I went to
bed, and wrote to the Lord Lieutenant from bed. I said that I was
confined to my couch, and could not rise from it, which was true,
strictly true, under the circumstances, and that I could not say that I
would live through the year, which was also true, strictly true; and I
got off without fine. On another occasion my creditors were unreasonable
and urgent. I took to my bed again, and after I had laid there a
fortnight, they mellowed; at the end of a month they were ripe for a
composition of eight shillings in the pound. I find that, in
difficulties, if I take at once to my bed I constitute myself master of
the situation. It is the Hougoumont of all my Waterloos.'
Herring was still laughing.
'You may laugh,' pursued Trecarrel, 'but my plan is superlative. Judge
of it by the faces of Tramplara and his son when they visit me. You
know the look that comes over a chess-player, when his adversary says
"checkmate." I suspect you will see some very similar expression steal
over the countenances of Tramplara and young Hopeful. The old man will
coax, and the young one bluster. They can do nothing. Here I lie, and
they bite their nails and rack their brains. They are powerless. They
cannot bring Orange and a parson here and have me married in bed. I
should bury my head under the clothes. They would not attempt it. It
would hardly be decent. I do not think it would be legal.'
'You will write, I suppose, to Miss Orange?'
'No; I shall send for her father. I do not put hand to paper if I can
help it. I never commit myself. _Litera scripta manet_. You have no
idea, Herring, how successful my system is. Difficulties solve
themselves; mountains melt into molehills; tangles unravel of their own
accord. The perfectness of the system consists in its extreme
simplicity. Polly! run the warming-pan through the sheets before I
retire. Whilst I am upstairs, Herring, there is a good fellow, keep a
sharp look out on Ophir.'
*CHAPTER XXV.*
*A LEVEE.*
In France it was anciently the custom for the Kings to hold _lits de
justice_--that is to say they lay in bed, and whilst reposing on their
pillows, and the vapours of sleep rose and rolled from their exalted
brows, heard appeals and pronounced judgments. The royal example found
hosts of imitators. No one ever dreams of following a good example, but
one that is mischievous has eager copyists. It was so in France under
the ancient _regime_. Nobles received their clients, ladies their
suitors, in bed. Magistrates heard cases in the morning, before rising,
whilst sipping their coffee. So far down, had this habit descended,
that Scarron, in his 'Roman Comique,' describes a respectable actress
receiving an abbe, a magistrate, and various ladies and gentlemen in her
bedroom, whilst she lay between the sheets. In the Parisian world, the
world of salt and culture, the bedroom--the very bed itself--of a
distinguished lady was the centre round which the wit and gossip of the
gay and literary world circled and sparkled.
The getting out of bed of a prince, and of those who imitated the
prince, was as public as his lying in state. That was not the day of
baths and Turkish towels, and therefore there was not the same reason
against the admission of the public to a levee that would exist at
present, at least in England.
Whilst the King drew on his stockings, he heard petitions; as he encased
himself in his black satin breeches, he determined suits. When his
shirt-frills were being drawn out, he dictated despatches; whilst his
wig was being dusted, he granted concessions; and as he washed his
fingers and face in a saucer, he conferred bishoprics and abbacies.
In like manner, the toilettes of ladies of rank and the queens of beauty
and fashion were times for the reception of their favoured friends.
Hogarth's picture of the toilette of the lady in the _Mariage a la mode_
shows that this custom had extended to England. A _levee_ was then, as
the name implies, an assembly held during the process of getting out of
bed.
Captain Trecarrel was not consciously copying the ancient _regime_. He
lay in bed because it suited his convenience. He received visitors
there because he did not choose to receive them elsewhere, till he had
carried a point on which his heart was set.
'Why, bless my soul, Trecarrel! what ails you? Laid up in this wretched
inn--caught cold on your way down? I hope nothing serious; not
rheumatic fever, eh?'
'Severe indisposition,' said Trecarrel, looking at Mr. Trampleasure
calmly out of his celestial blue eyes, innocent as those of a child,
little spots of sky, pure and guileless.
'Good gracious!' blustered Tramplara, 'not anything gastric, is it? No
congestion of any of the organs?'
'There is tightness in the chest,' said the Captain; 'that is normal.'
'Bless my soul! couldn't you push on to Launceston? Were you so bad
that you broke down here?
When a man's a little bit poorly,
Makes a fuss, wants a nurse,
Thinks he's going to die most surely,
Sends for the doctor who makes him worse.
You know the lines, but whether by the Bard of Avon, or by Chalker in
his "Canterbury Tales," I cannot recall. Poor Orange! What a state of
mind she will be in!'
'I dare say,' said the Captain, composedly.
'The child will be half mad with alarm. What does the doctor say? What
has he given you? Something stinging or routing, eh?'
'I have not sent for him.'
'Not sent for the doctor? By Grogs! and you seriously ill. How do you
know but that it may interfere with your marriage on the eighth?'
'That is what I have been supposing.'
'You must get well, my dear boy. You positively must.'
'I hope so, but that does not altogether depend on me.'
'I insist on a doctor being sent for.'
'His coming will be of no use. I know my own constitution.'
'Have you sent word to Orange?'
'No, I left that for you. You see I am in bed, and I cannot write. I
don't think the people of the inn would permit it, lest I should ink the
sheets. Salts of lemon are not always satisfactory in removing stains.'
'Orange will be heartbroken.'
'The recuperative power of the female heart cannot be overestimated.'
'Mrs. Trampleasure will be in such distress, she will do nothing but
cry----'
'And sniff. I say, father-in-law that want to be, how goes Ophir?'
'Oh, my dear boy! magnificently.'
'Like the Laira at Plymouth?--eh, father-in-law elect?'
'What do you mean?'
'The rendezvous of all the gulls in the Western counties. Only, with
this difference, the gulls go to the Laira for what they can get, and
they come to Ophir for what they can give.'
'I do not like these flippant jokes,' said Tramplara, puffing and waxing
red.
'The joke is too near the truth. You see, father-in-law prospective, I
have been in Exeter, and have talked Ophir over with lawyers, bankers,
mining agents, and men of the world.'
'Well?'
'And I find that the general verdict on Ophir is, that it is a ----
swindle.'
Tramplara stamped, turned purple in face, and strode up and down the
room.
'You insult me. Look at my white hairs. This is an outrage on my
character, on my age. Do you dare to say that an old man like me, with
one foot in eternity, would--would----'
'Reserve that for the Flamanks,' said the Captain; 'it is an argument
without weight with me.'
'This is intolerable. You wish to break off connection with me.'
'Not at all,' said the Captain, smiling and twisting his fair moustache.
'I am only telling you what is said in Exeter about Ophir. My own
opinion is inchoate. Sometimes I am inclined to believe in the
genuineness of the article, but generally, I admit, what I admire most
is not its genuineness, but the skill with which a spurious article is
disposed of.'
'You have seen the gold?'
'But I have not found it.'
'You have dug out the quartz yourself and followed the entire process,
to the last washing and sifting. Will not that content you?'
'I brought home with me some of the auriferous stone, and crushed it
myself, and washed it myself, but not a particle of gold was there.'
'Simply because you took pieces in which there was no gold. Gold is not
so common as hornblend.'
'Nor, apparently, as discernible in the stone. Look here, father-in-law
that want to be.'
'I won't be spoken to in this style.'
'You want me to marry Orange, do you not?'
'I do not care a penny about you. All I care for is poor Orange, and
her feelings.'
'You are ready to pay me five thousand pounds for taking Orange off your
hands, are you not?' asked the imperturbable Captain.
'I am ready to pay you five thousand pounds as her jointure, because she
is my daughter, whom I dearly love, and I wish to provide for her
comfort and happiness in the future when I am dead and forgotten.'
'And you were thinking only of her comfort and happiness when you
offered us those Patagonian bonds,' said Trecarrel. 'Fortunately, I was
equally interested in the dear creature's comfort and happiness, and in
her interest I declined them.'
'Have done with those Patagonian bonds,' said Tramplara, impatiently.
'You will bring my white hairs with exasperation to the grave. I shall
go down stairs, and leave you to soak in bed. Do you intend to lie here
for a twelve-month? I do not believe you are seriously ill.'
'Seriously indisposed is what I said,' answered the Captain.
'You have done this sort of thing before,' said old Tramplara, very hot
and angry; 'I have heard of you. Ridiculous! not like a man.'
Trecarrel was wholly unmoved. He turned round in his bed with his face
to the wall. The old man stamped about the room, swearing and uttering
his opinions freely, without eliciting a word from the Captain. After a
while he cooled down, finding that his wrath and remonstrances were
ineffectual, and he seated himself on a chair by the bedside.
'Be reasonable, Captain,' he said. 'What is the drift of this farce?'
Trecarrel turned round in bed, and faced him with perfect equanimity in
his handsome features.
'I say, Trampleasure, the second Solomon who draws gold out of Ophir, I
give it up. How do you manage it?'
The fiery flush again came into the old man's face.
'There, there, I do not want to anger you,' said Trecarrel. 'I have a
proposal to make to you, father-in-law _in nubibus_! Let me go with you
into the mine. You shall indicate to me the auriferous vein, and I will
pick out pieces and submit them to you. Those about which you are
doubtful shall be cast aside; those you approve I will retain. I will
pound them myself, and wash them myself.'
'Where--in our works?'
'By no means. Anywhere that suits my convenience and pleasure. At John
Herring's lead mine, if I choose. Then, if I find gold, you shall have
my name on your list of directors, and I will go heartily with you in
the concern.'
'I do not care to have you as a director.'
'That is not true. You have several times urged me to be one. You want
some respectable names on your list, which is sadly deficient in them.
Will you oblige me with some particulars about Arundell Golitho, Esq. of
Trevorgan? By some strange omission he has not been made a Justice of
the Peace and a Deputy Lieutenant of the county of Cornwall.'
'I will answer no questions. You want to force a quarrel on me.'
'On the contrary, I want to dispel my doubts. I am, what I think you
call in your chapel, an earnest inquirer. I can tell you one thing for
certain, father-in-law that may, might, would, could, and should be, I
am not going to be married to your Orange without the fulfilment of one
of two conditions.'
'What are they?' asked Tramplara, sulkily.
'One is, that I may make the proposed investigation into the qualities
of Ophir.'
'I refuse it,' said Trampleasure, hastily.
'You refuse to allow me fairly to test its value as a mine?'
'I do not say that. I refuse the proposed test, because it is unfair
and insulting. You may come and extract as much quartz as you like from
the rock, and crush and wash it on my floors, but you shall not carry it
elsewhere.'
'What is your objection?'
'I say the proposal is insulting. Look at my white hairs. Do you
suppose----'
'Leave the white hairs out of the matter. What is unfair in my
proposal?'
'I will not consent. I will die before I permit it.'
The old man sprang from his seat. 'Good heavens! I shall have every
visitor and applicant for shares pestering me to carry off specimens.'
'Why should they not?'
'Because it is against regulations. I have laid down a strict rule, to
be relaxed to none, that every specimen raised is to be tested on the
spot, and not elsewhere. I will have the trial take place where I can
see that it is fairly conducted. How do I know but that behind my back
the trial may be incorrectly, imperfectly, or dishonestly carried on?'
'I do not ask to do anything behind your back. You shall select half a
dozen specimens. We will bring them here. I will smash them up in the
backyard with a paviour's hammer under your eye, and I will wash them in
the water-trough there, with you looking on. Will that suffice?'
'What is your other alternative?' asked Trampleasure, sullenly.
'Mv second proposal is this. You have promised me five thousand pounds
along with Orange.'
'I know I have, and I shall be ready to pay it when you are married.'