[Being Extracts from a private letter to Damodar K. Mavalankar, Joint
Recording Secretary of the Theosophical Society.]
....When we met last at Bombay I told you what had happened to me at
Tinnevelly. My health having been disturbed by official work and worry,
I applied for leave on medical certificate and it was duly granted. One
day in September last, while I was reading in my room, I was ordered by
the audible voice of my blessed Guru, M---Maharsi, to leave all and
proceed immediately to Bombay, whence I was to go in search of Madame
Blavatsky wherever I could find her and follow her wherever she went.
Without losing a moment, I closed up all my affairs and left the
station. For the tones of that voice are to me the divinest sound in
Nature, its commands imperative. I traveled in my ascetic robes.
Arrived at Bombay, I found Madame Blavatsky gone, and learned through
you that she had left a few days before; that she was very ill; and
that, beyond the fact that she had left the place very suddenly with a
Chela, you knew nothing of her whereabouts. And now, I must tell you
what happened to me after I had left you.
Really not knowing whither I had best go, I took a through ticket to
Calcutta; but, on reaching Allahabad, I heard the same well-known
voice directing me to go to Berhampore. At Azimgunge, in the train, I
met, most providentially I may say, with some Bengali gentlemen (I did
not then know they were also Theosophists, since I had never seen any of
them), who were also in search of Madame Blavatsky. Some had traced her
to Dinapore, but lost her track and went back to Berhampore. They knew,
they said, she was going to Tibet and wanted to throw themselves at the
feet of the Mahatmas to permit them to accompany her. At last, as I was
told, they received from her a note, permitting them to come if they so
desired it, but saying that she herself was prohibited from going to
Tibet just now. She was to remain, she said, in the vicinity of
Darjiling and would see the Mahatma on the Sikkhim Territory, where they
would not be allowed to follow her .... Brother Nobin K. Bannerji, the
President of the Adhi Bhoutic Bhratru Theosophical Society, would not
tell me where Madame Blavatsky was, or perhaps did not then know
himself. Yet he and others had risked all in the hope of seeing the
Mahatmas. On the 23rd, at last he brought me from Calcutta to
Chandernagore, where I found Madame Blavatsky, ready to start by train
in five minutes. A tall, dark-looking hairy Chela (not Chunder Cusho),
but a Tibetan I suppose by his dress, whom I met after I had crossed the
river Hugli with her in a boat, told me that I had come too late, that
Madame Blavatsky had already seen the Mahatmas and that he had brought
her back. He would not listen to my supplications to take me with him,
saying he had no other orders than what he had already executed--namely,
to take her about twenty-five miles beyond a certain place he named to
me, and that he was now going to see her safe to the station and return.
The Bengali brother Theosophists had also traced and followed her,
arriving at the station half an hour later. They crossed the river from
Chandernagore to a small railway station on the opposite side. When the
train arrived, she got into the carriage, upon entering which I found
the Chela! And, before even her own things could be placed in the van,
the train, against all regulations and before the bell was rung, started
off, leaving the Bengali gentlemen and her servant behind, only one of
them and the wife and daughter of another--all Theosophists and
candidates for Chelaship--having had time to get in. I myself had
barely the time to jump into the last carriage. All her things, with the
exception of her box containing Theosophical correspondence, were left
behind with her servant. Yet, even the persons that went by the same
train with her did not reach Darjiling. Babu Nobin Banerjee, with the
servant, arrived five days later; and those who had time to take their
seats, were left five or six stations behind, owing to another
unforeseen accident (?), reaching Darjiling also a few days later. It
required no great stretch of imagination to conclude that Madame
Blavatsky was, perhaps, being again taken to the Mahatmas, who, for some
good reasons best known to them, did not want us to be following and
watching her. Two of the Mahatmas, I had learned for a certainty, were
in the neighbourhood of British territory; and one of them was seen and
recognized, by a person I need not name here, as a high Chutukla of
Tibet.
The first days of her arrival Madame Blavatsky was living at the house
of a Bengali gentleman, a Theosophist, refusing to see any one, and
preparing, as I thought, to go again somewhere on the borders of Tibet.
To all our importunities we could get only this answer from her: that
we had no business to stick to and follow her, that she did not want us,
and that she had no right to disturb the Mahatmas with all sorts of
questions that concerned only the questioners, for they knew their own
business best. In despair, I determined, come what might, to cross the
frontier, which is about a dozen miles from here, and find the Mahatmas
or--DIE. I never stopped to think that what I was going to undertake
would be regarded as the rash act of a lunatic. I had no permission, no
"pass" from the Sikkhim Rajah, and was yet decided to penetrate into the
heart of a semi-independent State where, if anything happened, the
Anglo-Indian officials would not--if even they could--protect me, since
I should have crossed over without their permission. But I never even
gave that a thought, but was bent upon one engrossing idea--to find and
see my Guru. Without breathing a word of my intentions to any one, one
morning, namely, October 5, I set out in search of the Mahatma. I had
an umbrella and a pilgrim's staff for sole weapons, with a few rupees in
my purse. I wore the yellow garb and cap. Whenever I was tired on the
road, my costume easily procured for me for a small sum a pony to ride.
The same afternoon I reached the banks of the Rungit River, which forms
the boundary between British and Sikkhimese territories. I tried to
cross it by the aerial suspension bridge constructed of canes, but it
swayed to and fro to such an extent that I, who have never known in my
life what hardship was, could not stand it. I crossed the river by the
ferry-boat, and this even not without much danger and difficulty. That
whole afternoon I traveled on foot, penetrating further and further into
the heart of Sikkhim, along a narrow footpath. I cannot now say how
many miles I traveled before dusk, but I am sure it was not less than
twenty or twenty-five miles. Throughout, I saw nothing but impenetrable
jungles and forests on all sides of me, relieved at very long intervals
by solitary huts belonging to the mountain population. At dusk I began
to search around me for a place to rest in at night. I met on the road,
in the afternoon, a leopard and a wild cat; and I am astonished now to
think how I should have felt no fear then nor tried to run away.
Throughout, some secret influence supported me. Fear or anxiety never
once entered my mind. Perhaps in my heart there was room for no other
feeling but an intense anxiety to find my Guru. When it was just
getting dark, I espied a solitary hut a few yards from the roadside. To
it I directed my steps in the hope of finding a lodging. The rude door
was locked. The cabin was untenanted at the time. I examined it on all
sides and found an aperture on the western side. It was small indeed,
but sufficient for me to jump through. It had a small shutter and a
wooden bolt. By a strange coincidence of circumstances the hillman had
forgotten to fasten it on the inside when he locked the door. Of
course, after what has subsequently transpired, I now, through the eye
of faith, see the protecting hand of my Guru everywhere around me. Upon
getting inside I found the room communicated, by a small doorway, with
another apartment, the two occupying the whole space of this sylvan
mansion. I laid down, concentrating every thought upon my Guru as
usual, and soon fell into a profound sleep. Before I went to rest, I
had secured the door of the other room and the single window. It may
have been between ten and eleven, or perhaps a little later, that I
awoke and heard sounds of footsteps in the adjoining room. I could
plainly distinguish two or three people talking together in a dialect
unknown to me. Now, I cannot recall the same without a shudder. At any
moment they might have entered from the other room and murdered me for
my money. Had they mistaken me for a burglar the same fate awaited me.
These and similar thoughts crowded into my brain in an inconceivably
short period. But my heart did not palpitate with fear, nor did I for
one moment think of the possibly tragical chances of the moment. I know
not what secret influence held me fast, but nothing could put me out or
make me fear; I was perfectly calm. Although I lay awake staring into
the darkness for upwards of two hours, and even paced the room softly
and slowly without making any noise, to see if I could make my escape,
in case of need, back to the forest by the same way I had effected my
entrance into the hut--no fear, I repeat, or any such feeling ever
entered my heart. I recomposed myself to rest. After a sound sleep,
undisturbed by any dream, I awoke at daybreak. Then I hastily put on my
boots, and cautiously got out of the hut through the same window. I
could hear the snoring of the owners of the hut in the other room. But
I lost no time, and gained the path to Sikkhim (the city) and held on my
way with unflagging zeal. From the inmost recesses of my heart I
thanked my revered Guru for the protection he had vouchsafed me during
the night. What prevented the owners of the hut from penetrating to the
second room? What kept me in the same serene and calm spirit, as if I
were in a room of my own house? What could possibly make me sleep so
soundly under such circumstances,--enormous, dark forests on all sides
abounding in wild beasts, and a party of cut-throats--as most of the
Sikkhimese are said to be--in the next room, with an easy and rude door
between them and me?
When it became quite light, I wended my way on through hills and dales.
Riding or walking, the journey was not a pleasant one for any man not as
deeply engrossed in thought as I was then myself, and quite oblivious to
anything affecting the body. I have cultivated the power of mental
concentration to such a degree of late that, on many an occasion, I have
been able to make myself quite unconscious of anything around me when my
mind was wholly bent upon the one object of my life, as several of my
friends will testify; but never to such an extent as in this instance.
It was, I think, between eight and nine A.M. I was following the road
to the town of Sikkhim, whence, I was assured by the people I met on the
road, I could cross over to Tibet easily in my pilgrim's garb, when I
suddenly saw a solitary horseman galloping towards me from the opposite
direction. From his tall stature and skill in horsemanship, I thought
he was some military officer of the Sikkhim Rajah. Now, I thought, I am
caught! He will ask me for my pass and what business I have in the
independent territory of Sikkhim, and, perhaps, have me arrested and
sent back, if not worse. But, as he approached me, he reined up. I
looked at and recognized him instantly.... I was in the awful presence
of him, of the same Mahatma, my own revered Guru, whom I had seen before
in his astral body on the balcony of the Theosophical Headquarters. It
was he, the "Himalayan Brother" of the ever-memorable night of December
last, who had so kindly dropped a letter in answer to one I had given
but an hour or so before in a sealed envelope to Madame Blavatsky, whom
I had never lost sight of for one moment during the interval. The very
same instant saw me prostrated on the ground at his feet. I arose at
his command, and, leisurely looking into his face, forgot myself
entirely in the contemplation of the image I knew so well, having seen
his portrait (the one in Colonel Olcott's possession) times out of
number. I knew not what to say: joy and reverence tied my tongue. The
majesty of his countenance, which seemed to me to be the impersonation
of power and thought, held me rapt in awe. I was at last face to face
with "the Mahatma of the Himavat," and he was no myth, no "creation of
the imagination of a medium," as some sceptics had suggested. It was no
dream of the night; it was between nine and ten o'clock of the
forenoon. There was the sun shining and silently witnessing the scene
from above. I see him before me in flesh and blood, and he speaks to me
in accents of kindness and gentleness. What more could I want? My
excess of happiness made me dumb. Nor was it until some time had
elapsed that I was able to utter a few words, encouraged by his gentle
tone and speech. His complexion is not as fair as that of Mahatma
Koothoomi; but never have I seen a countenance so handsome, a stature
so tall and so majestic. As in his portrait, he wears a short black
beard, and long black hair hanging down to his breast; only his dress
was different: Instead of a white, loose robe he wore a yellow mantle
lined with fur, and on his head, instead of the turban, a yellow Tibetan
felt cap, as I have seen some Bhootanese wear in this country. When the
first moments of rapture and surprise were over, and I calmly
comprehended the situation, I had a long talk with him. He told me to
go no further, for I should come to grief. He said I should wait
patiently if I wanted to become an accepted Chela; that many were those
who offered themselves as candidates, but that only a very few were
found worthy; none were rejected, but all of them tried, and most found
to fail signally, as for example---and---. Some, instead of being
accepted and pledged this year, were now thrown off for a year. The
Mahatma, I found, speaks very little English--or at least it so seemed
to me--and spoke to me in my mother-tongue--Tamil. He told me that if
the Chohan permitted Madame Blavatsky to visit Parijong next year, then
I could come with her. The Bengali Theosophists who followed the
"Upasika" (Madame Blavatsky) would see that she was right in trying to
dissuade them from following her now. I asked the blessed Mahatma
whether I could tell what I saw and heard to others. He replied in the
affirmative, and that moreover I would do well to write to you and
describe all.
I must impress upon your mind the whole situation, and ask you to keep
well in view that what I saw was not the mere "appearance" only, the
astral body of the Mahatma, as we saw him at Bombay, but the living man,
in his own physical body. He was pleased to say when I offered my
farewell namaskarams (prostration) that he approached the British
territory to see the Upasika. Before he left me, two more men came on
horseback, his attendants I suppose, probably Chelas, for they were
dressed like lama-gylungs, and both, like himself, with long hair
streaming down their backs. They followed the Mahatma, when he left, at
a gentle trot. For over an hour I stood gazing at the place that he had
just quitted, and then I slowly retraced my steps. Now it was that I
found for the first time that my long boots had pinched my leg in
several places, that I had eaten nothing since the day before, and that
I was too weak to walk further. My whole body was aching in every limb.
At a little distance I saw petty traders with country ponies, carrying
burdens. I hired one of these animals. In the afternoon I came to the
Rungit River and crossed it. A bath in its cool waters revived me. I
purchased some fruit in the only bazaar there and ate heartily. I took
another horse immediately and reached Darjiling late in the evening. I
could neither eat, nor sit, nor stand. Every part of my body was
aching. My absence had seemingly alarmed Madame Blavatsky. She scolded
me for my rash and mad attempt to try to go to Tibet after that fashion.
When I entered the house I found with Madame Blavatsky, Bahu Parbati
Churn Roy, Deputy Collector of Settlements and Superintendent of Dearah
Survey, and his assistant, Babu Kanty Bhushan Sen, both members of our
Society. At their prayer and Madame Blavatsky's command, I recounted
all that had happened to me, reserving of course my private conversation
with the Mahatma. They were all, to say the least, astounded. After
all, she will not go this year to Tibet; for which I am sure she does
not care, since she has seen our Masters and thus gained her only
object. But we, unfortunate people! we lose our only chance of going
and offering our worship to the "Himalayan Brothers," who, I know, will
not soon cross over to British territory, if ever, again.
And now that I have seen the Mahatma in the flesh, and heard his living
voice, let no one dare say to me that the Brothers do not exist. Come
now whatever will, death has no fear for me, nor the vengeance of
enemies; for what I know, I know!
--S. Ramaswamier, F.T.S.