Everything that the child experiences exerts an influence upon his
future. It suggests a tendency to thought or action. Once the thought
or act is indulged in, it has started the formation of habit. One act
will not create a habit, but one act will tend to induce the child to
act again in the same manner rather than go contrary to it or to vary
the method. Repeated action forms a habit, for habit is defined as a
tendency of the mind to do again what it has done before.
Habits, of course, vary in their strength, but you must realize the
importance of the fact that the first repetitions are the important
factors, because they are the habit's beginning. If the child's
tendency is wrong do not delay changing it. Tomorrow may be too late.
There is no certain age at which child training should begin. It is
never too soon. The earlier you begin the easier it will be, and the
more pleasure and satisfaction you will derive from your children.
The story is told of an anxious parent who went with a six-year child
to the Bishop. The mother told at great length of the difficulty she
was having with the child and asked what the proper age was to begin
training him. The Bishop's reply was: "My dear woman, you are six years
late."
Parents who procrastinate or delay correcting wrong tendencies and
instilling right ones because "the child is too young to know better,"
or "it's too soon to train him yet," will awaken to find that they have
formed a wrong habit and that the child will soon be trying to train
and rule them.
There is no method of child training as helpful as that of Suggestion.
Inducing the child by directly spoken words to think and believe that
he is, and that he does, what you wish him to be and to do. This is
known as Direct Suggestion. This is the most difficult form to use, as
it may arouse antagonism, in which case no favorable result will be
secured. It is better to postpone the use of Direct Suggestion until
some time when you can sit down quietly and talk to the child, holding
him in your lap and first preparing his mind by story or quiet talk
of positive and constructive nature. Then make the Direct Suggestion
in a clear, definite statement. Do not stop to argue or to impress
the suggestion by moralizing. Prepare the soil of the child's mind,
plant the seed (the Direct Suggestion), cover it over and leave it to
germinate there. You do this by once clearly stating the ideal and then
passing on to some other talk or story. Do not allow the child to argue
the statement of the Suggestion. This is fatal to its germination.
Have him in a passive mood in which he is listening to all that you
say, and after you have given the Direct Suggestion and planted the
seed, pass on to something else before he starts a train of contrary
thoughts in his mind.
If he resists and denies your statement before you can lead his mind
on, the soil was not properly prepared. Do not be discouraged, try
again. Never be discouraged or give up, if you expect to gain results
by the use of Suggestion.
After you have succeeded in planting this seed-thought in the child's
mind, cultivate it. Do not neglect it, but return to it and emphasize
the thought at another time, and gradually induce him to think of it in
a positive manner. Tell an imaginary story which depicts the positive
side of your seed-thought, and let him know it is of him you are
thinking.
Always be positive--never negative. Always state the thing you want
as it =now= is. Make it present tense--not even future. In suggestion
there is no place for don't, can't or any other negative statement. Do
not refer to the negative condition which you are striving to overcome.
Do not say, "Your headache is better." Leave out the headache and say
only, "You are better." A transitory term as--is becoming, or a future
term as--you will be, or a questionable effort as--try to do, should
not be used. Make your statement always positive, present tense, and
completed. As for example: "This is mama's big, strong boy." "My boy
always tells the truth." "My boy is strong and he is always kind."
"John is a gentleman, he is kind to his sister." "Sarah loves her kitty
and is kind and gentle with it."
The story of the Scotch wife will illustrate the effect of making
negative statements. The husband was starting off on Saturday night
to the village. John had a weakness, and knowing this the wife stood
on the doorstep calling after him, "John, don't go near the saloon."
"John, don't go near the saloon." "John, don't go near the saloon."
With the best of intentions she kept repeating this as long as she
could make him hear. John needed help, but if you will stop to think a
moment you will see that the wife had continuously impressed upon his
mind "the saloon," and, true to her fears, John returned home at a very
late hour and in a sad condition.
Suggestion to be of value must get beyond the critical and analytical
activity of the conscious mind and become placed in the sub-conscious.
If the conscious mind denies the statement, either audibly or to
itself, the sub-conscious is not influenced. The most profitable time
to plant these positive seed-thoughts is just before the child "drops
off to sleep."
The sub-conscious mind, which is influenced by the suggestion, never
rests. It is the mind which controls the breathing, heart beat and
other "sub-conscious action" of the body. It is working all the night
through. If you fall asleep thinking in happy anticipation of some
pleasure tomorrow you will awaken in the same happy, buoyant condition
of mind. Often you have to think a moment to ascertain the reason for
your happy mental condition, then you remember, "This is the day of the
picnic." This shows how the sub-conscious has retained all through the
night the thought which was placed there just before the conscious mind
sleeps.
Take advantage of this fact and strive to place a positive,
constructive thought upon the sub-conscious mind of your child just
before sleep. It will be held and built into character and physical
development all through the night.