Jack, in a good-humored way, 'if you can give me a lift in robbing this
crane's nest, do; at any rate, I'm sure your honor won't be my enemy. I
know you have too much good nature in your face to be one that wouldn't
help a lame dog over a style--that is,' says he, taking himself up for
fear of offending the other,--'I'm sure you'd be always inclined to help
the weak side.'
“'Thank you for the compliment,' says, the dog; 'but didn't I tell you
that you have a friend in coort?'
“When Jack went back to the lake, he-could only sit and look sorrowfully
at the tree, or walls; about the edge of it, without being able to do
anything else. He spent the whole day this way, till dinner-time, when
what would you have of it, but he sees the darlin' coming out to him, as
fair and as blooming as an angel. His heart, you may be sure, got up
to his mouth, for he knew she would be apt to take him out of his
difficulties. When she came up--
“'Now, Jack,' says she, 'there is not a minute to be lost, for I'm
watch'd; and if it's discovered that I gave you any assistance, we will
both be destroyed.'
“'Oh, murder sheery!' (* Murder everlasting) says Jack, 'fly back,
avourneen machree--for rather than anything should happen you, I'd lose
fifty-lives.'
“'No,' says she, 'I think I'll be able to-get you over this, as well as
the rest; so have a good heart, and be faithful' 'That's it,' replied
Jack, 'that's it, acushla--my own _correcthur_ to a shaving; I've a
heart worth its weight in bank notes, and a more faithful boy isn't
alive this day nor I'm to yez all, ye darlings of the world.'
“She then pulled a small white wand out of her pocket, struck the lake,
and there was the prettiest green ridge across it to the foot of the
tree that ever eye beheld. 'Now,' says she, turning her back to Jack,
and stooping down to do something that he couldn't see, 'Take these,'
giving him her ten toes, 'put them against the tree, and you will have
steps to carry you to the top, but be sure, for your life and mine,
not to forget any of them. If you do, my life will be taken tomorrow
morning, for your master puts on my slippers with his own hands.'
“Jack was now going to swear that he would give up the whole thing and
surrender his head at once; but when life looked at her feet, and saw
no appearance of blood, he went over without more to do, and robbed
the nest, taking down the eggs one by one, that he mightn't brake them.
There was no end to his joy, as he secured the last egg; he instantly
took down the toes, one after another, save and except the little one
of the left foot, which in his joy and hurry he forgot entirely. He then
returned by the green ridge to the shore, and accordingly as he went
along, it melted away into water behind him.
“'Jack,' says the charmer, 'I hope you forgot none of my toes.'
“'Is it me?' says Jack, quite sure that he had them all--'arrah, catch
any one from my country making a blunder of that kind.'
“'Well,' says she, 'let us see; so, taking the toes, she placed them on
again, just as if they had never been off. But, lo and behold! on coming
to the last of the left foot, it wasn't forthcoming. 'Oh! Jack, Jack,'
says she, 'you have destroyed me; to-morrow morning your master will
notice the want of this toe, and that instant I'll be put to death.'
“'Lave that to me,' says Jack; 'by the powers, you won't lose a drop of
your darling blood for it. Have you got a pen-knife about you? and I'll
soon show you how you won't.'
“'What do you want with the knife?' she inquired.
“'What do I want with it?--Why to give you the best toe on both my feet,
for the one I lost on you; do you think I'd suffer you to want a toe,
and I having ten thumping ones at your sarvice?--I'm not the man, you
beauty you, for such a shabby trick as that comes to.'
“'But you forget,' says the lady, who was a little cooler than Jack,
'that none of yours would fit me.'
“'And must you die to-morrow, _acushla?_' asked Jack, in desperation.
“'As sure as the sun rises,' answered the lady 'for Your master would
know at once that it was by my toes the nest was robbed.'
“'By the powers,' observed Jack, 'he's one of the greatest ould vag--I
mane, isn't he a terrible man, out and out, for a father?'
“'Father!' says the darling,--'he's not my father, Jack, he only wishes
to marry me and if I'm not able to outdo him before three days more,
it's decreed that he must.
“When Jack heard this, surely the Irishman must come out; there he
stood, and began to wipe his eyes with the skirt of his coat, making
out as if he was crying, the thief of the world. 'What's the matter with
you?' she asked.
“'All!' says Jack, 'you darling, I couldn't find it in my heart to
desave you; for I have no way at home to keep a lady like you, in proper
style, at all at all; I would only bring I you into poverty, and since
you wish to know what ails me, I'm vexed that I'm not rich for your
sake; and next, that that thieving ould villain's to have you; and, by
the powers, I'm crying for both these misfortunes together.'
“The lady could not help being touched and plaised with Jack's
tinderness and ginerosity; so, says she, 'Don't be cast down, Jack, come
or go what will, I won't marry him--I'd die first. Do you go home as
usual; but take care and don't sleep at all this night. Saddle the wild
filly--meet me under the whitethorn bush at the end of the lawn, and
we'll both leave him for ever. If you're willin' to marry me, don't let
poverty distress you, for I have more money than we'll know what to do
with.'
“Jack's voice now began to tremble in airnest, with downright love and
tinderness, as good right it had; so he promised to do everything just
as she bid him, and then went home with a dacint appetite enough to his
supper.
“You may be sure the ould fellow looked darker and grimmer than ever at
Jack: but what could he do? Jack had done his duty? so he sat before
the fire, and sung 'Love among the Roses,' and the 'Black Joke,' with a
stouter and a lighter heart than ever, while the black chap, could have
seen him skivered.
“When midnight came, Jack, who kept a hawk's eye to the night, was at
the hawthorn with the wild filly, saddled and all--more betoken,
she wasn't a bit wild then, but as tame as a dog. Off they set, like
Erin-go-bragh, Jack and the lady, and never pulled bridle till it
was one o'clock next day, when they stopped at an inn, and had some
refreshment. They then took to the road again, full speed; however,
they hadn't gone far, when they heard a great noise behind them, and the
tramp of horses galloping like mad. 'Jack,' says the darling, on hearing
the hubbub, 'look behind you, and see what's this.'
[Illustration PAGE 676-- Throw it over your left shoulder]
“'Och! by the elevens,' says Jack, 'we're done at last; it's the dark
fellow, and half the country after us.' 'Put your hand,' says she, 'in
the filly's right ear, and tell me what you find in it.' 'Nothing at
all,' says Jack, 'but a weeshy bit of a dry stick.' 'Throw it over your
left shoulder says she, 'and see what will happen.' Jack did so at
once, and there was a great grove of thick trees growing so close to one
another, that a dandy could scarcely get his arm betwixt them. 'Now,'
said she, 'we are safe for another day.' 'Well,' said Jack, as he pushed
on the filly, 'you're the jewel of the world, sure enough; and maybe
it's you that won't live happy when we get to the Jim of the Ocean.'
“As soon as dark-face saw what happened, he was obliged to scour the
country for hatchets and hand-saws, and all kinds of sharp instruments,
to hew himself and his men a passage through the grove. As the saying
goes, many hands make light work, and sure enough, it wasn't long till
they had cleared a way for themselves, thick as it was, and set off with
double speed after Jack and the lady.
“The next day, about' one o'clock, he and she were after taking another
small refreshment of roast-beef and porther, and pushing on, as before,
when they heard the same tramping behind them, only it was ten times
louder.
“'Here they are again,' says Jack; 'and I'm afeard they'll come up with
us at last.'
“'If they do,' says she, 'they'll put us to death on the spot; but we
must try somehow to stop them another day, if we can; search the filly's
right ear again, and let me know what you find in it.'
“Jack pulled out a little three-cornered pebble, telling her that it was
all he got; 'well,' says she, 'throw it over your left shoulder like the
stick.'
“No sooner said than done; and there was a great chain of high, sharp
rocks in the way of divel-face and all his clan. 'Now,' says she, 'we
have gained another day.' 'Tundher-and-turf!' says Jack, 'what's this
for, at all, at all?--but wait till I get you in the Immerald Isle, for
this, and if you don't enjoy happy days any how, why I'm not sitting
before you on this horse, by the same token that it's not a horse at
all, but a filly though; if you don't get the hoith of good aiting and
drinking--lashings of the best wine and whisky that the land can afford,
my name's not Jack. We'll build a castle, and you'll have upstairs and
downstairs--a coach and six to ride in--lots of sarvints to attend on
you, and full and plinty of everything; not to mintion--hem!--not to
mintion that you'll have a husband that the fairest lady in the land
might be proud of,' says he, stretching himself up in the saddle, and
giving the filly a jag of the spurs, to show off a bit; although the
coaxing rogue knew that the money which was to do all this was her own.
At any rate, they spent the remainder of this day pleasantly enough,
still moving on, though, as fast as they could. Jack, every now and
then, would throw an eye behind, as if to watch their pursuers, wherein,
if the truth was known, it was to get a peep at the beautiful glowing
face and warm lips that were breathing all kinds of _fragrancies_ about
him. I'll warrant he didn't envy the king upon his throne, when he felt
the honeysuckle of her breath, like the smell of Father Ned's orchard
there, of a May morning.
“When Fardorougha (* the dark man) found the great chain of rocks before
him, you may set it down that he was likely to blow up with vexation;
but, for all that, the first thing he blew up was the rocks--and that he
might lose little or no time in doing it, he collected all the gunpowder
and crowbars, spades and pickaxes, that could be found for miles about
him, and set to it, working as if it was with inch of candle. For half
a day there was nothing but boring and splitting, and driving of iron
wedges, and blowing up pieces of rocks as big as little houses, until,
by hard, labor, they made a passage for themselves sufficient to carry
them over. They then set off again, full speed; and great advantage they
had over the poor filly that Jack and the lady rode on, for their horses
were well rested, and hadn't to carry double, like Jack's. The next day
they spied Jack and his beautiful companion, just about a quarter of a
mile before them.
“'Now,' says dark-brow, 'I'll make any man's fortune forever that will
bring me them two, either living or dead, but, if possible, alive: so,
spur on, for whoever secures them, man, woman, or child, is a made man,
but, above all, make no noise.'
“It was now divil take the hindmost among the bloody pack--every spur
was red with blood, and every horse smoking. Jack and the lady were
jogging on acrass a green field, not suspecting that the rest were so
near them, and talking over the pleasant days they would spind together
in Ireland, when they hears the hue-and-cry once more at their very
heels.
“'Quick as lightning, Jack,' says she, 'or we're lost--the right ear and
the left shoulder, like thought--they're not three lengths of the filly
from us!'
“But Jack knew his business; for just as a long, grim-looking villain,
with a great rusty rapier in his hand, was within a single leap of them,
and quite sure of either killing or making prisoners of them both, Jack
flings a little drop of green water that he got in the filly's ear over
his left shoulder, and in an instant there was a deep, dark gulf, filled
with black, pitchy-looking water between them. The lady now desired Jack
to pull up the filly a bit, that they might see what would become of the
dark fellow; but just as they turned round, the ould nagur set 'spurs to
his horse, and, in a fit of desperation, plunged himself, horse and all,
into the gulf, and was never seen or heard of more. The rest that were
with him went home, and began to quarrel about his wealth, and kept
murdering and killing one another, until a single vagabond of them
wasn't left alive to enjoy it.
“When Jack saw what happened, and that the blood-thirsty ould villain
got what he desarved so richly, he was as happy as a prince, and ten
times happier than most of them as the world goes, and she was every bit
as delighted. 'We have nothing more to fear,' said the darling that put
them all down so cleverly, seeing that she was but a woman; but, bedad,
it's she was the right sort of a woman--'all our dangers are now over,
at least, all yours are; regarding myself,' says she, 'there's a trial
before me yet, and that trial, Jack, depends upon your faithfulness and
constancy.'
“'On me, is it?--Och, then, murder! isn't it a poor case entirely, that
I have no way of showing you that you may depind your life upon me, only
by telling you so?'
“'I do depend upon you,' says she--'and now, as you love me, do not,
when the trial comes, forget her that saved you out of so many troubles,
and made you such a great and wealthy man.'
“The foregoing part of this Jack could well understand, but the last
part of it, making collusion to the wealth, was a little dark, as he
thought, bekase, he hadn't fingered any of it at the time: still, he
knew she was truth to the back-bone, and wouldn't desave him. They
hadn't travelled much farther, When Jack snaps his fingers with a 'Whoo!
by the powers, there it is, my darling--there it is, at long last!'
“'There is what, Jack?' said she, surprised, as well she might, at his
mirth and happiness--'There is what?' says she. 'Cheer up!' says Jack;
'there it is, my darling,--the Shannon!--as soon as we get to the other
side of it, we'll be in ould Ireland once more.'
“There was no end to Jack's good humor, when he crossed the Shannon;
and she was not a bit displeased to see him so happy. They had now no
enemies to fear, were in a civilized country, and among green fields
and well-bred people. In this way they travelled at their ase, till they
came within a few miles of the town of Knockimdowny, near which Jack's
mother lived.
“'Now, Jack,' says she, 'I told you that I would make you rich. You know
the rock beside your mother's cabin; in the east end of that rock there
is a loose stone, covered over with gray moss, just two feet below the
cleft out of which the hanging rowan-tree grows--pull that stone out,
and you will find more goold than would make a duke. Neither speak to
any person, nor let any living thing touch your lips till you come back
to me, or you'll forget that you ever saw me, and I'll lie left poor and
friendless in a strange, country.'
“'Why, thin, _manim asthee hu_,' (* My soul's within you.) says Jack,
'but the best way to guard against that, is to touch your own sweet lips
at the present time,' says he, giving her a smack that you'd hear, of
a calm evening, acrass a couple of fields. Jack set off to touch the
money, with such speed that when he fell he scarcely waited to rise
again; he was soon at the rock, any how, and without either doubt or
disparagement, there was a cleft of real goolden guineas, as fresh as
daisies. The first thing he did, after he had filled his pockets with
them, was to look if his mother's cabin was to the fore; and there
surely it was, as snug as ever, with the same dacent column of smoke
rowling from the chimbley.
“'Well,' thought he, 'I'll just stale over to the door-cheek, and peep
in to get one sight of my poor mother; then I'll throw her in a handful
of these guineas, and take to my scrapers.'
“Accordingly, he stole up at a half bend to the door, and was just going
to take a peep in, when out comes the little dog Trig, and begins to
leap and fawn upon him, as if it would eat him. The mother, too, came
running out to see what was the matter, when the dog made another spring
up about Jack's neck, and gave his lips the slightest lick in the world
with its tongue, the crathur was so glad to see him: the next minute,
Jack forgot the lady, as clane as if he had never seen her; but if he
forgot her, catch him at forgetting the money--not he, avick!--that
stuck to him like pitch.
“When the mother saw who it was, she flew to him, and, clasping her arms
about his neck, hugged him till she wasn't worth three halfpence. After
Jack sot a while, he made a trial to let her know what had happened him,
but he disremembered it all, except having the money in the rock, so
he up and tould her that, and a glad woman she was to hear of his good
fortune. Still he kept the place where the goold was to himself, having
been often forbid by her ever to trust a woman with a sacret when he
could avoid it.
“Now everybody knows what changes the money makes, and Jack was no
exception to this ould saying. In a few years he built himself a fine
castle, with three hundred and sixty-four windies in it, and he would
have added another, to make one for every day in the year, only that
would be equal to the number in the King's palace, and the Lord of the
Black Rod would be sent to take his head off, it being high thrason for
a subject to have as many windies in his house as the king. (* Such is
the popular opinion.) However, Jack, at any rate, had enough of them;
and he that couldn't be happy with three hundred and sixty-four,
wouldn't desarve to have three hundred and sixty-five. Along with all
this, he bought coaches and carriages, and didn't get proud like many
another beggarly upstart, but took especial good care of his mother,
whom he dressed in silks and satins, and gave her nice nourishing food,
that was fit for an ould woman in her condition. He also got great
tachers, men of great larning, from Dublin, acquainted with all
subjects; and as his own abilities were bright, he soon became a very
great scholar, entirely, and was able, in the long run, to outdo all his
tutherers.
“In this way he lived for some years--was now a man of great larning
himself--could spake the seven _langidges_, and it would delight your
ears to hear how high-flown and Englified he could talk. All the world
wondered where he got his wealth; but as he was kind and charitable
to every one that stood in need of assistance, the people said that
wherever he got it it couldn't be in better hands. At last he began to
look about him for a wife, and the only one in that part of the country
that would be at all fit for him, was the Honorable Miss Bandbox, the
daughter of a nobleman in the neighborhood. She indeed flogged all the
world for beauty; but it was said that she was proud and fond of wealth,
though, God he knows, she had enough of that any how. Jack, however, saw
none of this; for she was cunning enough to smile, and simper, and look
pleasant, whenever he'd come to her father's. Well, begad, from one
thing, and one word, to another, Jack thought it was best to make up to
her at wanst, and try if she'd accept of him for a husband; accordingly
he put the word to her like a man, and she, making as if she was
blushing, put her fan before her face and made no answer. Jack, however,
wasn't to be daunted; for he knew two things worth knowing, when a man
goes to look for a wife: the first is--that 'faint heart never won fair
lady,' and the second--that 'silence gives consint;' he, therefore,
spoke up to her in fine English, for it's he that knew how to speak now,
and after a little more fanning and blushing, by jingo, she consinted.
Jack then broke the matter to her father, who was as fond of money as
the daughter, and only wanted to grab at him for the wealth.
“When the match was a making, says ould Bandbox to Jack, 'Mr. Magennis,'
says he, (for nobody called him Jack now but his mother)--'these two
things you must comply with, if you marry my daughter, Miss Gripsy:--you
must send away your mother from about you, and pull down the cabin in
which you and she used to live; Gripsy says that they would jog her
memory consarning your low birth and former poverty; she's nervous
and high-spirited, Mr. Magennis, and declares upon her honor that
she couldn't bear the thoughts of having the delicacy of her feeling
offinded by these things.'
“'Good morning to you both,' says Jack, like an honest fellow as he
was, 'if she doesn't marry me except on these conditions, give her my
compliments, and tell her our courtship is at an end.'
“But it wasn't long till they soon came out with another story,
for before a week passed they were very glad to get him on his own
conditions. Jack was now as happy as the day was long--all things
appointed for the wedding, and nothing a wanting to make everything to
his heart's content but the wife, and her he was to have in less than
no time. For a day or two before the wedding, there never was seen
such grand preparations: bullocks, and hogs, and sheep were roasted
whole--kegs of whiskey, both Roscrea and Innishowen, barrels of ale and
beer were there in dozens. All descriptions of niceties and wild-fowl,
and fish from the _say_; and the dearest wine that could be bought with
money, was got for the gentry and grand folks. Fiddlers, and pipers, and
harpers, in short all kinds of music and musicianers, played in shoals.
Lords and ladies, and squares of high degree were present--and, to crown
the thing, there was open house to all comers.
“At length the wedding-day arrived; there was nothing but roasting
and boiling; servants dressed in rich liveries ran about with joy and
delight in their countenances, and white gloves and wedding favors on
their hats and hands. To make a long story short, they were all seated
in Jack's castle at the wedding breakfast, ready for the priest to marry
them when they'd be done; for in them times people were never married
until they had laid in a good foundation to carry them through the
ceremony. Well, they were all seated round the table, the men dressed
in the best of broadcloth, and the ladies rustling in their silks and
satins--their heads, necks, and arms hung round with jewels both rich
and rare; but of all that were there that day, there wasn't the likes of
the bride and bridegroom. As for him, nobody could think, at all at all,
that he was ever any thing else than a born gintleman; and what was more
to his credit, he had his kind ould mother sitting beside the bride, to
tache her that an honest person, though poorly born, is company for the
king. As soon as the breakfast was served up, they all set to, and maybe
the various kinds of eatables did not pay for it; and among all this
cutting and thrusting, no doubt but it was remarked, that the bride
herself was behindhand wid none of them--that she took her _dalin-trick_
without flinching, and made nothing less than a right fog meal of it;
and small blame to her for that same, you persave.
“When the breakfast was over, up gets Father Flannagan--out with his
book, and on with his stole, to marry them. The bride and bridegroom
went up to the end of the room, attended by their friends, and the rest
of the company stood on each side of it, for you see they were too
high bred, and knew their manners too well, to stand in a crowd like
spalpeens. For all that, there was many a sly look from the ladies to
their bachelors, and many a titter among them, grand as they were;
for, to tell the truth, the best of them likes to see fun in the way,
particularly of that sort. The priest himself was in as great a glee as
any of them, only he kept it under, and well he might, for sure enough
this marriage was nothing less than a rare windfall to him and the
parson that was to marry them after him--bekase you persave a Protestant
and Catholic must be married by both, otherwise it does not hould good
in law. The parson was as grave as a mustard-pot, and Father Flannagan
called the bride and bridegroom his childher, which was a big bounce for
him to say the likes of, more betoken that neither of them was a drop's
blood to him.