If I stay much longer at Edinburgh, I shall be changed into a downright
Caledonian--My uncle observes, that I have already acquired something of
the country accent. The people here are so social and attentive in their
civilities to strangers, that I am insensibly sucked into the channel of
their manners and customs, although they are in fact much more different
from ours than you can imagine--That difference, however, which struck
me very much at my first arrival, I now hardly perceive, and my ear is
perfectly reconciled to the Scotch accent, which I find even agreeable
in the mouth of a pretty woman--It is a sort of Doric dialect, which
gives an idea of amiable simplicity--You cannot imagine how we have
been caressed and feasted in the good town of Edinburgh of which we are
become free denizens and guild brothers, by the special favour of the
magistracy.
I had a whimsical commission from Bath, to a citizen of this metropolis.
Quin, understanding our intention to visit Edinburgh, pulled out a
guinea, and desired the favour I would drink it at a tavern, with a
particular friend and bottle-companion of his, Mr R-- C--, a lawyer of
this city--I charged myself with the commission, and, taking the guinea,
‘You see (said I) I have pocketed your bounty.’ ‘Yes (replied Quin,
laughing); and a headake into the bargain, if you drink fair.’ I made
use of this introduction to Mr C--, who received me with open arms,
and gave me the rendezvous, according to the cartel. He had provided a
company of jolly fellows, among whom I found myself extremely happy;
and did Mr C-- and Quin all the justice in my power; but, alas, I was no
more than a tiro among a troop of veterans, who had compassion upon my
youth and conveyed me home in the morning by what means I know not--Quin
was mistaken, however, as to the head-ake; the claret was too good to
treat me so roughly.
While Mr Bramble holds conferences with the graver literati of the
place, and our females are entertained at visits by the Scotch ladies,
who are the best and kindest creatures upon earth, I pass my time among
the bucks of Edinburgh; who, with a great share of spirit and vivacity,
have a certain shrewdness and self-command that is not often found
among their neighbours, in the high-day of youth and exultation--Not
a hint escapes a Scotchman that can be interpreted into offence by any
individual in the company; and national reflections are never heard--In
this particular, I must own, we are both unjust and ungrateful to the
Scots; for, as far as I am able to judge, they have a real esteem for
the natives of South-Britain; and never mention our country, but with
expressions of regard--Nevertheless, they are far from being servile
imitators of our modes and fashionable vices. All their customs and
regulations of public and private oeconomy, of business and diversion,
are in their own stile. This remarkably predominates in their looks,
their dress and manner, their music, and even their cookery. Our ‘squire
declares, that he knows not another people upon earth, so strongly
marked with a national character--Now we are upon the article of
cookery, I must own, some of their dishes are savoury, and even
delicate; but I am not yet Scotchman enough to relish their singed
sheep’s-head and haggice, which were provided at our request, one day at
Mr Mitchelson’s, where we dined--The first put me in mind of the history
of Congo, in which I had read of negroes’ heads sold publickly in
the markets; the last, being a mess of minced lights, livers, suet,
oat-meal, onions, and pepper, inclosed in a sheep’s stomach, had a very
sudden effect upon mine, and the delicate Mrs Tabby changed colour; when
the cause of our disgust was instantaneously removed at the nod of our
entertainer. The Scots, in general, are attached to this composition,
with a sort of national fondness, as well as to their oat-meal bread;
which is presented at every table, in thin triangular cakes, baked upon
a plate of iron, called a girdle; and these, many of the natives, even
in the higher ranks of life, prefer to wheaten-bread, which they have
here in perfection--You know we used to vex poor Murray of Baliol
college, by asking, if there was really no fruit but turnips in
Scotland?--Sure enough, I have seen turnips make their appearance, not
as a desert, but by way of hors d’oeuvres, or whets, as radishes are
served betwixt more substantial dishes in France and Italy; but it must
be observed, that the turnips of this country are as much superior in
sweetness, delicacy, and flavour, to those in England, as a musk-melon
is to the stock of a common cabbage. They are small and conical, of
a yellowish colour, with a very thin skin and, over and above their
agreeable taste, are valuable for their antiscorbutic quality--As to the
fruit now in season, such as cherries, gooseberries, and currants, there
is no want of them at Edinburgh; and in the gardens of some gentlemen,
who live in the neighbourhood, there is now a very favourable appearance
of apricots, peaches, nectarines, and even grapes: nay, I have seen
a very fine shew of pineapples within a few miles of this metropolis.
Indeed, we have no reason to be surprised at these particulars, when we
consider how little difference there is, in fact, betwixt this climate
and that of London.
All the remarkable places in the city and its avenues, for ten miles
around, we have visited, much to our satisfaction. In the Castle are
some royal apartments, where the sovereign occasionally resided; and
here are carefully preserved the regalia of the kingdom, consisting of
a crown, said to be of great value, a sceptre, and a sword of state,
adorned with jewels--Of these symbols of sovereignty, the people are
exceedingly jealous--A report being spread during the sitting of the
union-parliament, that they were removed to London, such a tumult arose,
that the lord commissioner would have been torn to pieces, if he had not
produced them for the satisfaction of the populace.
The palace of Holyrood-house is an elegant piece of architecture, but
sunk in an obscure, and, as I take it, unwholesome bottom, where
one would imagine it had been placed on purpose to be concealed. The
apartments are lofty, but unfurnished; and as for the pictures of
the Scottish kings, from Fergus I. to king William, they are paultry
daubings, mostly by the same hand, painted either from the imagination,
or porters hired to sit for the purpose. All the diversions of London
we enjoy at Edinburgh, in a small compass. Here is a well
conducted concert, in which several gentlemen perform on different
instruments--The Scots are all musicians--Every man you meet plays on
the flute, the violin, or violoncello; and there is one nobleman, whose
compositions are universally admired--Our company of actors is very
tolerable; and a subscription is now on foot for building a new theatre;
but their assemblies please me above all other public exhibitions.
We have been at the hunters’ ball, where I was really astonished to see
such a number of fine women--The English, who have never crossed the
Tweed, imagine erroneously, that the Scotch ladies are not remarkable
for personal attractions; but, I can declare with a safe conscience, I
never saw so many handsome females together, as were assembled on this
occasion. At the Leith races, the best company comes hither from the
remoter provinces; so that, I suppose, we had all the beauty of the
kingdom concentrated as it were into one focus; which was, indeed, so
vehement, that my heart could hardly resist its power. Between friends,
it has sustained some damage from the bright eyes of the charming miss
R[ento]n, whom I had the honour to dance with at the ball--The countess
of Melville attracted all eyes, and the admiration of all present--She
was accompanied by the agreeable miss Grieve, who made many conquests;
nor did my sister Liddy pass unnoticed in the assembly--She is become
a toast at Edinburgh, by the name of the Fair Cambrian, and has already
been the occasion of much wine-shed; but the poor girl met with an
accident at the ball, which has given us great disturbance.
A young gentleman, the express image of that rascal Wilson, went up
to ask her to dance a minuet; and his sudden appearance shocked her so
much, that she fainted away--I call Wilson a rascal, because, if he had
been really a gentleman, with honourable intentions, he would have,
ere now, appeared in his own character--I must own, my blood boils
with indignation when I think of that fellow’s presumption; and Heaven
confound me if I don’t--But I won’t be so womanish as to rail--Time
will, perhaps, furnish occasion--Thank God, the cause of Liddy’s
disorder remains a secret. The lady directress of the ball, thinking she
was overcome by the heat of the place, had her conveyed to another room,
where she soon recovered so well, as to return and join in the country
dances, in which the Scotch lasses acquit themselves with such spirit
and agility, as put their partners to the height of their mettle. I
believe our aunt, Mrs Tabitha, had entertained hopes of being able to
do some execution among the cavaliers at this assembly. She had been
several days in consultation with milliners and mantua-makers, preparing
for the occasion, at which she made her appearance in a full suit of
damask, so thick and heavy, that the sight of it alone, at this season
of the year, was sufficient to draw drops of sweat from any man
of ordinary imagination--She danced one minuet with our friend Mr
Mitchelson, who favoured her so far, in the spirit of hospitality and
politeness; and she was called out a second time by the young laird of
Ballymawhawple, who, coming in by accident, could not readily find any
other partner; but as the first was a married man, and the second payed
no particular homage to her charms, which were also over-looked by the
rest of the company, she became dissatisfied and censorious--At supper,
she observed that the Scotch gentlemen made a very good figure, when
they were a little improved by travelling; and therefore it was pity
they did not all take the benefit of going abroad. She said the women
were awkward, masculine creatures; that, in dancing, they lifted their
legs like so many colts; that they had no idea of graceful motion, and
put on their clothes in a frightful manner; but if the truth must
be told, Tabby herself was the most ridiculous figure, and the worst
dressed of the whole assembly. The neglect of the male sex rendered
her malcontent and peevish; she now found fault with every thing at
Edinburgh, and teized her brother to leave the place, when she was
suddenly reconciled to it on a religious consideration--There is a sect
of fanaticks, who have separated themselves from the established kirk,
under the name of Seceders--They acknowledge no earthly head of the
church, reject lay-patronage, and maintain the methodist doctrines of
the new birth, the new light, the efficacy of grace, the insufficiency
of works, and the operations of the spirit. Mrs Tabitha, attended by
Humphry Clinker, was introduced to one of their conventicles, where they
both received much edification; and she has had the good fortune to
come acquainted with a pious Christian, called Mr Moffat, who is very
powerful in prayer, and often assists her in private exercises of
devotion.
I never saw such a concourse of genteel company at any races in England,
as appeared on the course of Leith--Hard by, in the fields called the
Links, the citizens of Edinburgh divert themselves at a game called
golf, in which they use a curious kind of bats, tipt with horn, and
small elastic balls of leather, stuffed with feathers, rather less than
tennis balls, but of a much harder consistence--This they strike with
such force and dexterity from one hole to another, that they will fly
to an incredible distance. Of this diversion the Scots are so fond, that
when the weather will permit, you may see a multitude of all ranks,
from the senator of justice to the lowest tradesman, mingled together in
their shirts, and following the balls with the utmost eagerness. Among
others, I was shewn one particular set of golfers, the youngest of
whom was turned of fourscore--They were all gentlemen of independent
fortunes, who had amused themselves with this pastime for the best part
of a century, without having ever felt the least alarm from sickness or
disgust; and they never went to bed, without having each the best
part of a gallon of claret in his belly. Such uninterrupted exercise,
co-operating with the keen air from the sea, must, without all doubt,
keep the appetite always on edge, and steel the constitution against all
the common attacks of distemper.
The Leith races gave occasion to another entertainment of a very
singular nature--There is at Edinburgh a society or corporation of
errand-boys, called cawdies, who ply in the streets at night with paper
lanthorns, and are very serviceable in carrying messages--These fellows,
though shabby in their appearance, and rudely familiar in their address,
are wonderfully acute, and so noted for fidelity, that there is no
instance of [a] cawdy’s having betrayed his trust--Such is their
intelligence, that they know, not only every individual of the place,
but also every stranger, by that time he has been four and twenty hours
in Edinburgh; and no transaction, even the most private, can escape
their notice. They are particularly famous for their dexterity in
executing one of the functions of Mercury; though, for my own part, I
never employed them in this department of business--Had I occasion
for any service of this nature, my own man, Archy M’Alpine, is as well
qualified as e’er a cawdie in Edinburgh; and I am much mistaken, if he
has not been heretofore of their fraternity. Be that as it may, they
resolved to give a dinner and a ball at Leith, to which they formally
invited all the young noblemen and gentlemen that were at the races; and
this invitation was reinforced by an assurance that all the celebrated
ladies of pleasure would grace the entertainment with their company.--I
received a card on this occasion, and went thither with half a dozen of
my acquaintance.--In a large hall the cloth was laid on a long range of
tables joined together, and here the company seated themselves, to
the number of about fourscore, lords, and lairds, and other gentlemen,
courtezans and cawdies mingled together, as the slaves and their masters
were in the time of the Saturnalia in ancient Rome.--The toast master,
who sat at the upper end, was one Cawdie Fraser, a veteran pimp,
distinguished for his humour and sagacity, well known and much respected
in his profession by all the guests, male and female, that were here
assembled.--He had bespoke the dinner and the wine: he had taken care
that all his brethren should appear in decent apparel and clean
linen; and he himself wore a periwig with three tails in honour of the
festival.--I assure you the banquet was both elegant and plentiful,
and seasoned with a thousand sallies, that promoted a general spirit
of mirth and good humour.--After the desert, Mr Fraser proposed the
following toasts, which I don’t pretend to explain. ‘The best in
Christendom.’--‘Gibbs’ contract.’--‘The beggar’s benison,’--‘King and
kirk.’--‘Great Britain and Ireland.’ Then, filling a bumper, and turning
to me, ‘Mester Malford (said he), may a’ unkindness cease betwixt John
Bull and his sister Moggy.’--The next person he singled out, was a
nobleman who had been long abroad.--‘Ma lord (cried Fraser), here is a
bumper to a’ those noblemen who have virtue enough to spend their rents
in their ain countray.’--He afterwards addressed himself to a member of
parliament in these words:--‘Meester--I’m sure ye’ll ha’ nae objection
to my drinking, disgrace and dule to ilka Scot, that sells his
conscience and his vote.’--He discharged a third sarcasm at a person
very gaily dressed, who had risen from small beginnings, and made a
considerable fortune at play.--Filling his glass, and calling him by
name, ‘Lang life (said he), to the wylie loon that gangs a-field with a
toom poke at his lunzie, and comes hame with a sackful of siller.’--All
these toasts being received with loud bursts of applause, Mr Fraser
called for pint glasses, and filled his own to the brim: then standing
up, and all his brethren following his example, ‘Ma lords and gentlemen
(cried he), here is a cup of thanks for the great and undeserved honour
you have done your poor errand-boys this day.’--So saying, he and they
drank off their glasses in a trice, and quitting their seats, took their
station each behind one of the other guests; exclaiming, ‘Noo we’re your
honours cawdies again.’
The nobleman who had bore the first brunt of Mr Fraser’s satire,
objected to his abdication. He said, as the company was assembled by
invitation from the cawdies, he expected they were to be entertained at
their expense. ‘By no means, my lord (cried Fraser), I wad na he guilty
of sic presumption for the wide warld--I never affronted a gentleman
since I was born; and sure at this age I wonnot offer an indignity to
sic an honourable convention.’ ‘Well (said his Lordship) as you have
expended some wit, you have a right to save your money. You have given
me good counsel, and I take it in good part. As you have voluntarily
quitted your seat, I will take your place with the leave of the good
company, and think myself happy to be hailed, Father of the Feast.’ He
was forthwith elected into the chair, and complimented in a bumper in
his new character.
The claret continued to circulate without interruption, till the glasses
seemed to dance upon the table, and this, perhaps, was a hint to the
ladies to call for music--At eight in the evening the ball began in
another apartment: at midnight we went to supper; but it was broad day
before I found the way to my lodgings; and, no doubt, his Lordship had a
swinging bill to discharge.
In short, I have lived so riotously for some weeks, that my uncle
begins to be alarmed on the score of my constitution, and very seriously
observes, ‘that all his own infirmities are owing to such excesses
indulged in his youth--Mrs Tabitha says it would be more to the
advantage of my soul as well as body, if, instead of frequenting these
scenes of debauchery, I would accompany Mr Moffat and her to hear a
sermon of the reverend Mr M’Corkindale.--Clinker often exhorts me, with
a groan, to take care of my precious health; and even Archy M’Alpine,
when he happens to be overtaken (which is oftener the case than I could
wish), reads me a long lecture upon temperance and sobriety; and is
so very wise and sententious, that, if I could provide him with
a professor’s chair, I would willingly give up the benefit of his
amonitions and service together; for I was tutor-sick at alma mater.
I am not, however, so much engrossed by the gaieties of Edinburgh, but
that I find time to make parties in the family way. We have not only
seen all the villas and villages within ten miles of the capital, but
we have also crossed the Firth, which is an arm of the sea seven miles
broad, that divides Lothian from the shire, or, as the Scots call it,
the kingdom of Fife. There is a number of large open sea-boats that ply
on this passage from Leith to Kinghorn, which is a borough on the
other side. In one of these our whole family embarked three days ago,
excepting my sister, who, being exceedingly fearful of the water, was
left to the care of Mrs Mitchelson. We had an easy and quick passage
into Fife, where we visited a number of poor towns on the sea-side,
including St Andrew’s, which is the skeleton of a venerable city; but we
were much better pleased with some noble and elegant seats and castles,
of which there is a great number in that part of Scotland. Yesterday
we took boat again on our return to Leith, with fair wind and agreeable
weather; but we had not advanced half-way when the sky was suddenly
overcast, and the wind changing, blew directly in our teeth so that we
were obliged to turn, or tack the rest of the way. In a word, the gale
increased to a storm of wind and rain, attended with such a fog, that
we could not see the town of Leith, to which we were bound, nor even the
castle of Edinburgh, notwithstanding its high situation. It is not to be
doubted but that we were all alarmed on this occasion. And at the same
time, most of the passengers were seized with a nausea that produced
violent retchings. My aunt desired her brother to order the boatmen, to
put back to Kinghorn, and this expedient he actually proposed; but they
assured him there was no danger. Mrs Tabitha finding them obstinate,
began to scold, and insisted upon my uncle’s exerting his authority as
a justice of the peace. Sick and peevish as he was, he could not help
laughing at this wise proposal, telling her, that his commission did not
extend so far, and, if it did, he should let the people take their own
way; for he thought it would be great presumption in him to direct them
in the exercise of their own profession. Mrs Winifred Jenkins made a
general clearance with the assistance of Mr Humphry Clinker, who joined
her both in prayer and ejaculation.--As he took it for granted that we
should not be long in this world, he offered some spiritual consolation
to Mrs Tabitha, who rejected it with great disgust, bidding him keep his
sermons for those who had leisure to hear such nonsense.--My uncle sat,
collected in himself, without speaking; my man Archy had recourse to a
brandy-bottle, with which he made so free, that I imagined he had sworn
to die of drinking any thing rather than sea-water: but the brandy had
no more effect upon him in the way of intoxication, than if it had been
sea-water in good earnest.--As for myself, I was too much engrossed by
the sickness at my stomach, to think of any thing else. Meanwhile the
sea swelled mountains high, the boat pitched with such violence, as if
it had been going to pieces; the cordage rattled, the wind roared; the
lightning flashed, the thunder bellowed, and the rain descended in
a deluge--Every time the vessel was put about, we ship’d a sea that
drenched us all to the skin.--When, by dint of turning, we thought to
have cleared the pier head, we were driven to leeward, and then the
boatmen themselves began to fear that the tide would fail before we
should fetch up our lee-way: the next trip, however, brought us into
smooth water, and we were safely landed on the quay, about one o’clock
in the afternoon.--‘To be sure (cried Tabby, when she found herself
on terra firma), we must all have perished, if we had not been the
particular care of Providence.’ ‘Yes (replied my uncle), but I am much
of the honest highlander’s mind--after he had made such a passage
as this: his friend told him he was much indebted to
Providence;--“Certainly (said Donald), but, by my saul, mon, I’se ne’er
trouble Providence again, so long as the brig of Stirling stands.”’--You
must know the brig, or bridge of Stirling, stands above twenty miles
up the river Forth, of which this is the outlet--I don’t find that our
‘squire has suffered in his health from this adventure; but poor Liddy
is in a peaking way--I’m afraid this unfortunate girl is uneasy in her
mind; and this apprehension distracts me, for she is really an amiable
creature.
We shall set out to-morrow or next day for Stirling and Glasgow; and we
propose to penetrate a little way into the Highlands, before we turn our
course to the southward--In the mean time, commend me to all our friends
round Carfax, and believe me to be, ever yours,