Having no mother of my own, I hope you will give me leave to disburden
my poor heart to you, who have always acted the part of a kind parent to
me, ever since I was put under your care. Indeed, and indeed, my worthy
governess may believe me, when I assure her, that I never harboured
a thought that was otherwise than virtuous; and, if God will give me
grace, I shall never behave so as to cast a reflection on the care you
have taken in my education. I confess I have given just cause of offence
by my want of prudence and experience. I ought not to have listened to
what the young man said; and it was my duty to have told you all that
passed, but I was ashamed to mention it; and then he behaved so modest
and respectful, and seemed to be so melancholy and timorous, that
I could not find in my heart to do any thing that should make him
miserable and desperate. As for familiarities, I do declare, I never
once allowed him the favour of a: salute; and as to the few letters that
passed between us, they are all in my uncle’s hands, and I hope they
contain nothing contrary to innocence and honour.--I am still persuaded
that he is not what he appears to be: but time will discover--mean while
I will endeavour to forget a connexion, which is so displeasing to my
family. I have cried without ceasing, and have not tasted any thing but
tea, since I was hurried away from you; nor did I once close my eyes for
three nights running.--My aunt continues to chide me severely when we
are by ourselves; but I hope to soften her in time, by humility
and submission.--My uncle, who was so dreadfully passionate in the
beginning, has been moved by my tears and distress; and is now all
tenderness and compassion; and my brother is reconciled to me on my
promise to break off all correspondence with that unfortunate youth;
but, notwithstanding all their indulgence, I shall have no peace of mind
till I know my dear and ever honoured governess has forgiven her poor,
disconsolate, forlorn,
Affectionate humble servant, till death, LYDIA MELFORD CLIFTON, April 6.
To Miss LAETITIA WILLIS, at Gloucester.