EINSTEIN and EPSTEIN were wonderful men,
Bringing new miracles into our ken.
EINSTEIN upset the Newtonian rule;
EPSTEIN demolished the Pheidian School.
EINSTEIN gave fits to the Royal Society;
EPSTEIN delighted in loud notoriety.
EINSTEIN made parallels meet in infinity;
EPSTEIN remodelled the form of Divinity.
Nature exhausted, I hopefully sing,
Can't have more Steins of this sort in her sling.
* * * * *
[Illustration: _Mrs. Faulkner_ (_to District Visitor_). "NICELY, THANK YOU,
MISS, EXCEPT FOR A POISONED 'AND. FOR THE REST OF 'EM, FATHER'S IN
HOSPITAL, LITTLE FLORRIE'S SCALDED HERSELF AND BABY'S GOT THE
WHOOPING-COUGH. IT BE A BLESSING THAT TROUBLES DON'T COME SINGLY OR
ELSE THERE'D BE NO END TO IT."]
* * * * *
"Disputing Sergt. Alvan C. York's claim as the world war's greatest
hero, Sergt. Mike Donaldson of New York has challenged the Tennessean
to a debate on who is the greatest war hero."--_New Haven
Journal-Courier (U.S.A.)_
Without waiting for the result of this unique contest Mr. Punch has no
hesitation in saying that between them these warriors are responsible for
the mightiest "blow" of the War.
* * * * *
[Illustration: _The Colonel_ (_at the end of his vocabulary_). "_WHAT_ DID
LORD FISHER SAY IN 1919?"]
* * * * *